STATIC

New Zealand Listener, Volume 1, Issue 11, 8 September 1939, Page 6

STATIC

ILL the numerous Harrovians who, in \/ attempting to divest a very old Etonian of his trousers, deprived him of two treasured five shilling pieces and a gold safety pin, please return one or all to the Army and Navy Club."From Personal Column the London " Times." * % * ANNIE said to me her watch stops or goes an hour slow or two hours fast so I said it’s time to throw it away so she, the rude thing, said she’d clock me, the houri! % * * FOLLOWING news of the Bach to the Land movement comes news of a Back to the Haus movement among the Russian proletariat. The Tchekov them! * * ** D ON’T you think my voice should be cultivated?" " Sure-and bury it about a foot down." ES * * HERE is the story of a Scotsman who bought a flute and took it back to the shop because it was full of holes! * * * Secor are» pianist, proud of his heavily insured fingers, rang up a sculptor and said, raat | want you to come over and make a bust of my hands!" % * * A MUSICAL-COMEDY producer says he thinks there is too much similarity about the words of opening choruses, which seems to prove there really are words in opening choruses. * * * mgs SS es you know the word radio announcers always pronounce wrongly?" asks a correspondent. Yes, indeed we do-it’s wrongly. * % * A JEWISH comedian was asked if his new girl partner had plenty of vim. Said he: "She soitainly ’as! But every little vim she ’as I try to satisfy." * * * ; EFINITION: A crooner is one born with a silver moon in his mouth. * * * Rodd boys, we are told, never miss a subtle story. They are so quick on the uptake. * * Ba LITHELY announced the announcer: "She was on the point of drowning when somebody had the presence of mind to throw her a lifeboat." * % *