Helping the Child To be Independent

New Zealand Listener, Volume 1, Issue 6, 4 August 1939, Page 10

Helping the Child To be Independent

Summary of a talk by

Mrs.

C. E.

BEEBY

(VI.)

need of the child, whatever his age, is for freedom to grow, and that it’s part of our job as parents to give him more freedom and more responsibility as his powers develop. I think we all want our children to grow into self-reliant, independent young people who can face the world by themselves, but I’m afraid we sometimes forget that they can’t suddenly plunge into independence-they have to be trained to it gradually. ... We have to begin training the child to be independent when he is quite young, so let us think of some of the ways by which we can help even the tiny child to rely on himself rather than on us. Of course, we can’t give the child under five much freedom or responsibility, but there are all sorts of ways in which even a toddler can begin his training in self-reliance. ig ‘my talk last week I said that the greatest Here’s a good rule for parents-let your child do as much for himself as early as possible. Don’t force him into independence, but encourage it whenever you can. Let him feed and dress and wash himself even if it is a much slower and messier business. .. . Give him a small stool to stand on, so that he can

reach the basin to wash himself, a low hook for his towel, a low shelf on which to keep his toilet gear, clothes that he can undo easily-all these things, and lots of others that you will think of, will help him to be able to do things for himself... . It’s a good idea to let a child get used to having other people to look after him as well as the mother, then he doesn’t become completely dependent on her. You’ve all seen the child whose mother has never left him-and then for some reason she suddenly has to leave him. You know the dreadful scene that happens-the child screaming his head off and the mother tearful and upset because her baby is going to be so unhappy. It’s very much wiser to see that the child is used to having other people look after him sometimes. Other members of the family should occasionally bath him and give him his meals, and most fathers like having a turn now and then, There are a few parents who imagine they’re being kind to a child by taking all difficulties out of his way. But they’re really being very unkind, because they’re going to make it harder for him later on. Nobody can avoid difficulties all his tife, and the sooner we learn to face up to them the better.... So if you want your child to grow up independent and self-reliant, don’t do everything for him and take every difficulty out of his way. Help him, .of course, ‘if he needs it, but don’t teach him to depend on someone else to do all the hard things for him, (To be continued)