A COMPLETE HUMOROUS STORY. The Missing Lodger.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 36, 19 November 1920, Page 14

A COMPLETE HUMOROUS STORY. The Missing Lodger.

"Jane!" bellowed Mr Gubbs hoarsely. "Jane !" Mrs Gubbs paus,ed in her occupation of pounding a blob of dough about in a basin, and raised her eyebrows. She waited for further details. "Jan-a-ane !" came the voice from the upper regions again. "Come up ere quick !" Jane pushed the basin away irom ner, and scraped the flour off her fingers slowly and deliberately. She went to the door of the kitchen, and stood at the foot of the dark stairs. "What's the matter, Jonathan Gubhs?" she called. "What's bit you?" "C'ome' ere !" came an agitated voice. "Quick !" "You come down and tell me all about it," replied Mrs Gubbs indignantly. "Who are you to order me about?" There was evidently no gainsaying this command. Presently footst'eps sounded on the stairs, and Mr Gubhs appeared, following her into the kitchen with a wild, terrified look in his eyes, and a face that suggested that he had seen a ghost. "Something's 'app.ened!" he announced hoarsely. "There' s bin " He paused and gulped. "There's bin — murder !" nis worthy spouse looked at him contenqotuously for a moment, and took stock of his countenance. "You've bin drinking." She decided, putting her brawny tare arms akimbo. Gubbs shook his dishevelled head widly. "No, ain't touched a drop. "As true as I stand 'ere, Jane " "I've 'eard these taleg before," Jane Gubbs did not move, but neverthelss she was impressed. "Where's this — this murder ?" "Upstairs!" gulped Mr Gubbs, "in the lodger's room. The — tho door's locked. Can't get in. There's blood—- — " He finished with a shudder. "Come on up," ha said, "and see for yourself." He moved towards the door. Mrs Guuus hesitated, then also moved. "If you're 'aving m,e," she threatened, shaking her fist, "if you're 'aving me " Mr Gubbs paused solemly. He raised his right hand, and held it out for her inspection. Mr Gubbs looked. She saw that his harid was flecked with crimson— the inner side of his fingers were stained in i places a deep red. "Jonathan!" almost shrieked Mrs Gubhs. "iou — you ain't — " Gubbs stared at her in a horrified sort of way. "No, no!" he said hoarsely. "No!" Ha shuddered. "Not that. I cauglit hold of the handle of Billing's door, and — and found this on my 'and." "Gon on!" commanded Mra Gubbs, ' lead the wTay upstairs." Jonathan took a step forward, and , reached the foot of the stairs. H,e turned | there, and stood aside to mahe way for j her. She stopped. "Ladies first," murmur,ed Mr Gubbs shakily. Mrs Gubbs cauglit him by the shoulder and gave him a jerk forward. "Go on up, you big booby!" she cried. "I'm coming." Jonathan had no alternative. He placed his foot on. the first stair gingerly, then crept up, silently, stealthily, and shiveringly. The second floor, where Mr Billings, the lodger, had been in the habit of existing, was in darkness. "Get a match out!" whispered Mrs Gubbs. "Strike a light, quick!" Mr Gubbs wasn't sure, but it sounded to him as if her teeth were chattering. He fumbled in a pocket and produced a box of matches. After a little more fumbling he extracted one, and after several vain attempts to strike, he at last held up a light in a shaky hand. The scene revealed hy the fliekeriag light was not very impressive. They wire standing outside the door of Mr LiUing s bed-sit-ting room, which wa,g shut. 'j o the left of them extended a small passage, comprising the bathroom and a lumbc-r room. Mrs Gibbs looked down at the doorhandle. It was a brass affair, and she saw that it glistened in the light Tas though wet. "Look!" said Jonathan dramatically. Hc- was pointing down below the door. To

Mrs" Gubbs it seemed as thougn his fcair was standing .straight on cud. Below the door-handle '.as a dark pool, in which the light was rpilected. Mrs Gubbs saw it, then the ...match wei.t out. "Oh," gasped Mrs Gubbs. "Gh " There was a thud, and M > s Gubhs gave a gasp of horror. it was quite two niniutes before Jonr hm's lierves vcula allow another match io l>e j roluufd and lit, then he saw that .Mrs Gnobs had swocred. For a moment he "-vas nonplu.-sed. 1' e stood looking down at- ri.-r, lus ino utu 1 open, till the match o-ent •• ufc. Then lie gave a sudden scre.,m. W.tli a whoop he had i 1 rned and was down the stairs like a fiash, not stopping till he was out in the street. A police constable was p.vnng up and down on the other side of the mad Jonathan ran over and button-holed him. "Come quick — to Number — 37!" ha gasped. "You're wanted there!" ) The constable looked down at him. Another policeman sauntered up and stopped. "Both of you!" cried Mr Gubbs hoarsely. "Number 37!" "What's wrong?" asked both the police. men together. "Murder!" breathed Mr Gubbs in a tense voice. "Mu-ur-rder !" He dwelt on the word as though it were a national ealamity. "There's blood " He shuddered again. The police men braced themselves up. They seemed to smack their lips. Then they led the w.ay to . No. 37. Jonathan Gubbs took last place this time all right. ' He followed the sturdy constables up the stairs. One of them produced a bull's-eye lantern, turned the shad.e, and flashed it on to the scene of the tragedy. It shone on'the little pool beneath the door, and showed the di'm passage stretching away to the Left. One of the policemen bent down and sniffed at the doorhandle, then he looked at the pool. The other took out a notebook and pencil, which he began to use busily. While he was writing, the first constable, who seemed to be taking charge, put nis hand on the door-nob and turned it. The door would not give. He tried several times, but to no .avail. The door was firmly secured. "What up there?" he asked abruptly of Gubhs, pointing up the passage. "Bathroom," tnurmured Jonathan. "Bath-room and lumber-room." "And who lives here?" He jerked a thumb at the closed doifr. "Mr Billings. He was in half an hour ago — I see him gettin' ready to go out. I ner.er saw him go, though." The two constableg proceeded towards the bathroom, Gubbs following gingerly. The torch shone on the floor as they went, revealing sundry dark stains and blotches, which were duly noted. The bathroom door was slightly ajar. | The policemen entered, shining the light around. "Ha!" The first constable pounced upon something that was lying on the shelf be. side the bath. He picked it up, and held it to the light. It was an open razor. Mr Gubbs had followed slowly, and stood in the doorway. His eyes started from his head as he peered over the second policeman 's shoulder. "There's blood " he began faintly. Something dripped off the open blade and fell on the oilcloth covered floor with a little plop. That has been used," announced the policeman drily, "to cut — er — something." It seemed an obvious remark to make about a razor. He gazed quizzically at the deep stain on the .steel, while the other man pencilled away for dear life. "Looks like — suicide," he finished. Suddenly there came a diversion. Mr Guobs, staring fascinated over the policeman's shoulder, had failed to hear someone coming ponderously up the passage. A hand descended heavily on his shoulder. Both constables looked round in surprise as Gubbs gave a bloodeurdling howl, leapt about two feet in the air, and swung round, to face the bulky form of his wife occupying the doorway. Jonathan, said Mrs Gubbs severely, "am I nothing to you? I, who have worked and slaved for you for years, to famt and be left neglected like a person of no consequence — perhaps — to die?" Jonathan gurgled something inarticulate. Jane Gubbs, lying in a swoon up the pas-

sage, had gone completely out of his mind. "Jonathan, you hulking great " Mrs Gubbs paused. Her eyes bulged. The policeman had turned, and was coming out of the bathroom, brandishing the open razor. The sight was enough for Jane. She gave a shrill scream as the light flashed on the steel, and fainted again. Mr Gubbs was distracted. He looked appealingly at the policemen. "Fetch a doctor," said hte man with the razor. "We'll want him for — for the man in there." He nodded towards the locked room. "If he's alive or dead, we'll want him. There'll be an inquest — " . He closed the razor with a snap, and moved forward into the passage. Doctor Ryman and a policeman reached the house. The doctor tore up the stairs with his bag in his hand. A candle had been lit in the passage. The policemen were standing sideways to the door, one holding the handle. They were leaning back. "Xow, together!" commanded the bigger. "One, two, three — go!" There was a terrific thud as the constables launched themselves upon the door, together with a crea-king, splintering sound. The door crashed open, the policemen crashed through, and fell in a heap on the flocrr. They rose painfully to their feet. One of them muttered something in a dissatisfied tone. Gubbs couldn't catch the gist of the remark, but it was something unholy. The interior of the room was in darkness. They could not see farther than a foot or so into the room. "Where's this murdered man?" demanded Eyman, who was all impatience. "All right. Wait a minute." 'IJie senior policeman adjusted his dress, felt in his pocket for his truncheon, and extracted it. "Yrou — you don't want trunchecns for .murdered men," observed Ryman. "I never heard of corpses showing fight before." The policeman looked round. He waved an arm as though to keep the crowd. back, and took a step forward. "If the criminal is in here " he muttered grimly. He took another step forward, then tripped over something, ana fell with a crash to the floor. "Bring a light, ordered the other policeman to Gubbs. "He's tripped over the body." The other policeman, thrusting his note. hook and pencil away, strode firmly into the dark room. He helped the fallen constable to liis feet. "It's — it's down here," the policeman muttered, when he rose. He bent down and felt around for the body. His groping hand found nothing at first. Then at last it seized something soft and clutched it tightly. "I've got him," he announced from out the darkness, "his arm, or something. Where's — that light?" Gubbs appeared in the doorway, the candle revealing his white and scared features vividly. Everybody gazed down eagerly to where the constable knelt. The light revealed a strange sight. The first constable was kneeling, a fold of the iruTled carpet clutched tightly in liis hand. The man hlinked at the contents of his hand, then let the innocent piece of cloth loose. Ryman came into the room. "Where's this corpse?" he demanded impatiently. "I'm still waiting." The policemen looked at him feebly. Then they gazed round the room. Someone uttered a cry of horror. On the floor, near the table, lay another razor. It was half open, and there was more blood. Gubbs uttered a feeble moan, and nearly dropped the candle. "iiwo murders!" he murmured faintly, stretching the candle towards the table. "Look — look at that thing ! There's — there's blood " He put his arm across his eyes to shut out the dread sight. The doctor rushed forward and picked up a once white object which lay near the razor. It turned out to be a towel, soaked red in a good many places. Ryman gazed keenly at the stains, sniffed at them, then nodded gkavely. "Blood," he remarked, "human blood. The murderer has wiped his liands on this towel, after hiding the corpse." "Ah, the corpse!" put in one of the constables eagerly. "Where is that?" How should I know?" asked the doctor calmly. "I am a doctor, not a corpsefinder. The body has been disposed of." One of the constables uttered an exclamation. "The window is open!" he said. "Can the body have been thrown out?" There was an instantaneous rush to the window. The two officials of the law reached it first and peered eagerly down at the pavement below. What's all this?" came a voice from

the direction of at the wia^J. BMi looked round. ^ ^ Police-Inspector Wa marr with ^ J heard, was standin, ^ Is this the r00m?>. ^ asked turning to speat t he % ror-stricken Mrs Gubbs d shown him the Way Jl Yes! Mrs Gubb gag 1 spector entered, l0okinf W. ^ as he did so the inteifl ,°Ut S revealed to the ^ r 0 J saw the second razor a ^ & of ^ terror, and fled. ' Inspector,'" announced « . man, coming forward from t, J poliC( tragedy has* occurred in are searching for the hZ> \ Hump!" the inspector!' me the details " Iq ^ ' commenced reading inspector nodded gravelv „ , , V°IC6' H sordid story was unfolded * vent of Jonathan Gubbs ti ,1°®.^' « of the second razor and u H Dead silence filled the a'ned toWfl spector scribbled furiousl J r 1 "Help ! Pohce! Murder!" Iloarse cries came from u • low the open -window. I0J 'f scuffling, fighting and shouiirl^ toth-u AboWth.d^5' of police-whistles. 1 There was another rush to b • dow. Far below, I„spector " a furious battle raging. H» didn't tt„p ,;„e; dashed out of the room in a W .i other policemen following hira. The pohce- whisUes were still ?0ia when the two men reached the street f) policemen were fighting furiously «ti third person, whose legs, arnis, head ap body all seemed to he waving and wn'fi in a superhuman effort to confound ti authorities. Wilskin and his companion dashed i:>t the rescue. There was a short, Ihai scuffle during which the lashing ai'ms an legs worked with redoubled fury. : "Got him!" breathed Wilskin. "Who he? What is lie?" Then he noticed that the hand and ari he held were covered with blood. "Good Heavens!" he gasped, "TI murderer!" Grainger, the policeman who had b« sent off to make a search, nodded. "This is him," lie said. "Tve hei making investigation roimd ihe outside i the house, when I found this blighter ti derneath the window looking up. H movemenfs was suspicous like, so I rain nearer. Then I discovered lie ra wi ered in blood. Look at his face!" j "Where's his face?" grunted InspetW Wilskin. They searched for a few ra utes among the arms and legs they helt and finally discovered the object's hea near the pavement. "Hum!" observed Wilskin, staring in the features of the prisoner as he wai p on his feet. "He's looks fi kea despe ra character. Fetch him ttpsfairs. We cross-examine him, and ffiwl out where ti 'b°dy is'" , „TI "Darned fools!" he sphttmd. dering hobbies! I live here' Gubbs gazed at the apparitum toi minute, then light- dawned on «n. I "Billings!" he gasped hlankly. "What! Do you know this man, rnanded Wilskin of him. "He's— he's our lodger, Gubbs. "He lives here." "What has happened? q« , ^ spector, letting the arm drop. h ^ there has heen a serious cl®e' . ^ "There's razors," muttered Mr "and there's blood M "Razors, yes!" ^ "Rozois that I The darned thmgs- H^gkvi)!j, j « harangue on razom ^ „laJ Started in here. u JLt and I cut my face. I in my rage, and went m | ^ "another. I finished in t ^ ^ was better, and when i L ^ , the razor, the darne ^ ir^' the leather and gave me a » . off to find a doctor, after ) ' ^ staunch the flow with a ^ \ up, a.s I always do, " 01 ^ | cast a venomous gbncee^t^ was so excited I 00 . pjfore and it was twenty m'n ^ to Ryman' s. Hc had g and when I got back hr' at the window, surpr^d l» these darned fools rus j c>l8. Three sorrowfuldookm0 ^ ^ ^ a eadder-looking two minutes later. to0th«I| the door, and as they to the pavement. b,o0d> Tne constabulary g ej om glarc, aod, with