Passing Notes.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 35, 12 November 1920, Page 6

Passing Notes.

BY JACQUES.

Laugh where we must, be candid whers can. — Pope.

A "News" advertisement offers "Fixewood cutting plant, every neccmfwyp fy fwyp, and all in god order." It looks an attractive proposition. Another announces : "Firewood Suites, Sideboards, etc." Oue would think that, at the present price of firewood, it would be rather costly material for furniture. The latest Parliamentary return shows our present national indebtedness to stand ) at £193,913,191 — roughly £160 per head j of the population, or £800 for a family of ! five. Many another must, like myself, have felt his chest expand with pride on reading those figures. There is a comforting suggestion of opulence about j them. The next best thing to owning money is to owe it; an overdraft at the bank is almost as pleasant as a credit balance. Despite all that our moralists may say to the contrary, the most wretched of mortals is that man who can neither "raise the wind" nor get into debt. Many of us are in that position, and to such there is some slight consolaticn in the thought that, though our private credit may not be good for a postage stamp, we yet participate in a magnificent overdraft which has been arranged for us by proxy, as it were, and of which each man's individual share is in the neighbourhood of £200. The feeling that our credit is good for that amount is dirt cheap at the price we pay for it. The Christchurch Anglican Synod has been discussing, with unwonted candour, the social evil, and has propounded the by no means original suggestion that, as a partial remedy at least, a certificate of freedom from communicable disease shall be, in every case, a sine qua non to marriage. This is an excellent plan — as a fecond step ; the first, in the humble opinJon of Jacques, should be at the other end of the line. The evil should be attacked first at its source, and until this is done all attempts to cope with it farther on its course must prove meagre of result. That source lies in the secret Paphian. It is impossible under present conditions to stamp out the "oldest profession in the world"; it were better therefore to frankly recognise it, and, at the sa-me time, rigorously regulate it. Close supervision, periodical medical examination, and the system of certficates of health in relation to the traffic will go further to protect the genei'al community tban ant other means that can be thought of. It has been tried in many large cities, and the results have always been satisfactory, from the point of vieW of the public health. And, as a corollary, our young men should be freely instructed in the matter of prophylaxis. No doubt the very thought of such a thing will mak-o some shudder, but we are face to face with a very ugly problem, alid desperate diseases often require desperate remedies. At Chertsey (Eng.) parish churcli two deaf mutes were recently joined in wedlock. Which, for the man who hopes to find in matrimony "the peace which floweth like a xiver," seems about asnear an approximation to the ideal union as is mundanely possible. True, a quarrel is not beyond their reach, and a quarrel between a pair of deaf mutes would be a weird thing. But the man (it is always the man " who tires first of the conflict) could always end it — and, forbye, rob his better helf of lier traditional prerogative of the last word — by merely closing his eyes. And think of the blessedness of being able to terminate a certain lecture by the simple expedient of — blowing out the light. A finger lecture in the dark would be a futile sort of thing. Verily, there are many of us who would gladly change places with that bridegroom. - I have mentioned woman's prerogative of the last word. Sometimes it is well that they should be allowed to get it in, as it saves misunderstanding. In witness whereof take the following story : It was at the tea-table, and Ethel was telling of a certain experience earlier in ihe day.

"As I was coming home," she said, "I trod on a banana pcel and came down hard on my " "Ethel!" shrieked her mother. "What, ma?" said Ethel, "I was merely telling how I fell on my " "Oh, Ethel," implored her aunt, "don t say it." "But, auntie," persisted the narrator, "I can't see much harm in saying that I slipped and bumped down hard on my " "Ethel," roared her father," "If you have so little regard for decency you had better leave the table." Ethel was desperate, and resolved to get it out this time, at whatever cost. "I don't know what is the matter with you all. I was only trying to tell you how I slipped on a banana skin and fell on my little brother, who was just behind me." There are lots of things in this world that, as Loi'd Dundreary would say, "no fellah can understand." One of these is the persistent refusal of the authorities to permit the manufacture of margarine within the Dominion, "With the cost of living at its present altitude many a struggling breadvvinner and harrassed houeswife are losing sleep o' nights trying to think of substitutes for the more costly items in the" list of household expenses. As a substitute for butter (which has leaped beyond the reach of many purses) margarine fulfils every requirement of those who are s.t once thrifty and regardful of their own and their children' s health. It is cheap, palatable and nutritious, and so closely resembles the thing it counterfeits as to deceive all but the most expert judges. In fact, many who have used it declare it to be superior to much of the second grade butter that is openly sold. Why, then, place any bar in the way of the manufacture and sale (with proper safeguards) of a commodity which would go far to lighten many a present heavy burden ? There may be a reason for this inhibition somewhere in the back of William Massey's massive cranium, but that the reason is at all a sound one, I beg permission to doubt.