Passing Notes.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 34, 5 November 1920, Page 6

Passing Notes.

Laugh where, we must, be candid where we can. — Pope.

; — — • s 1 BY JACQUES- ♦ i I

Mr Gavin Brighton, writing on "The jMarriage Act" in last week's "Digger," eays that the B.C. Church' 8 daughters "include all churches, from the Church of England down to the Salvation Army, Presbyterians included." Which somehow reminds one of the prayer once offered up at a church gathering, "for all those present, including the reporters, oh, Lord, for we know that even the souls of these are precious in Thy sight." It is an axiom that people cannot be made moral by law. America seems to have made a further disQovery, viz., that people cannot be legislated into sobriety. It is now some months since that "great and glorious republic" went dry, but, if cabled reports are to be credited, it seems not one whit nearer the great desideratum of the prohibitionist. The drug habit lias increased to a staggering extent, and enormous quantities of that crude kind of "whisky" that quickly adds to the populations of lunatic asylums, are being illicitly manufactured, smuggled hither and thither, and sold under the very eyes (and, it is whispered, with the actual connivance) of the authorities. Worse still, where even that poor article is not procurable its place is taken by very queer and not too healthful substitutes. The trade' in wood spirit is booming; more hair wash finds its way to the stomach than to the heads of Uncle Sam's children; flavouring essences are in great demand, and perfumes command a ready market. Anything at all that can be swallowed, and that will for a moment make this grey old world look less dull, is sure of a ready sale. The consequences do not matter. All of which goes to prove that the prohibitionist, "in his stubborn ignoring of the more stubborn facts of life and human nature, threatens to bring on us f ar greater evils than those he is endeavquring to combat. Also it reminds me of a little story. It was in a back blocks hotel. Trade had been unusually brisk, supplies were exhausted, and there was little hope of the carrier coming for a week. A party, on pleasure bent, strode into the back bar and demanded "same as usual." Tlie drinks were served, and promptly swallowed. Next moment several gasping, raging men were roaring at the landlord. "Wot in 'ell djer mean by it," screamed one, "that was blanky pain-killer yer gave us." "Hush," said Boniface, in an agonised whisper, "don't let the fellers in the front bar 'ear yer, or they'll think I'm favourin' yer. Yer see, they've 'ad nothin' but Elliman's Embrocation all day. "Say, Jax," said Bill, in a ,tone of discontent, "Why the 'ell don't yeh write somethin' useful in that paper of yours j once in a while?",, I modestly replied that I had had occasional thoughts of doL^' so, but have been afraid that the editor and public would not understand it. But, I asked, what was the trouble now? "Well, Jax," he went on, "there's a flamin' lot of things I can't make 'ead or tail of, an' I'd like yeh to explain 'em in your rag. For instance, as I think yeh know, I've been wantin' a decent suit an' an overcoat fer a long time, an' the old woman 'as been worrying me for blankets ever since the beginnin' of winter. But after payin' fifty bob for a suit for each of th« boys an' eight-an'-six a pair for their irtockin's, an' buyin' a few things for the girls I found there was nothin' left to meet the wants of the old man an' the old woman. I took it quiet all along, thinkin' that there wasn't enough wool to go all round, an' that it was up to all of us to grin an' bear it. An' now Jimmy Allen tells us that the reason why I can't get some decent clobber, an' the fambly can't sleep warm is because there's been a flamin' over-production of wool. Somethin' like a million bales of Noo Zealan' wool on 'and that they don't know what to do with ! An' fifteen quid for a suit ! Blimey, but its a puzzle. An' again, the other day I read in the papers that the tea growers 'ad so much tea on 'and that they was afraid there'd be a fall in price, so they decided to "regulate the output," as they call it, to prevent the damned calamity of cheap tea fallin' on us. Same with rubher (though, not ownin' a motor, I'm not so much in-

terested in that), an' other things. Seems to me that if they'd let us 'ave these things at a fair price we'd use more of 'em, so that they'd be as well off an' we'd be better. Hanged if I can understand it at all, Jax." And I have to confess that I don't, either. The "News" tells an interesting little story of an Adelaide lady and "her inotorriding "liubby." She suspected him of taking another young lady for occasional "touring excursions" (a neat euphemism), and, her Suspicions being confirmed by the discovery in the side-chair of a garter other than the brand she wore, she set to work on the bike and side-chair with an axe, completely spoiling the appearance and utility of the whole turn-out. If her example is followed in Invercargill there should soon be a big boom in the local motor repairing industry. Much of what the Rev. Hector McLean said at the unveiling of the Knox Church memorial to our f allen soldiers will be speedily forgotten, but at least one thing should find lasting place in our memory. That was his earnest appeal for greater charity — or, at least, justice — in our judgment of the faults and failings of our retumed soldiers. Now that our- sense of gratitude is dimming we are becomirig more" -and m~re prone to measure their transgressions and shortcomings by our harsh, rigorous, everyday standards— to their, and our own, great wrong. "The war lias made a waster of him," we often hear said, and always in conteirtpt, rather than pity. In many cases it is true, no doubt, but .even in those it behoves us not to be too ready with blame. There are many lads among us to-day whose lives, had it not been for the war, would have been bright and happy. But we took them and threw them — sacrifices on the alter of our own security — iriio a hell, . of the horrors of which we can form no conception. Through months and years they lived in brutalising shambles, the battle madness always in them, and with Death as their daily companion. Small wonder that so many of them came back to us with disordered brains, shattered nerves, blunted^ feelings, and impaired moral sense. The wonder is, in fact, that any at all escaped these pitiful consequences of their hellish experiences. In judging these unfortunates, let us always remember that their blighted lives are a part of the price paid for our own safety. In his report to the last meeting of the Town Council Mr Rennie voices the very general complaint re "motor hogging" through our city streets. This is especially noticeable, he says, in Esk street, which seems to have become a recognised testing track for motors, notwithstanding the fact that the "proximity of a large school makes undue speeding "more than ordinarily dangerous and reprehensible there. Which is all very well, as far as it goes ; most of us will heartily endorse the inspector's complaint. It is the proposed remedy, however, which provokes the laugh. "A special signboard should be erected neai\ schools requesting motorists tO slow down . . . during those hours when the streets are crowded with children." Could anything be more fatuous and futile ? The plain fact is that if the motor hog is hoggish enough to disregard the presence of the little ones in his track, he is not going to be converted to decency and gentlemanliness> by a mere municipal notice board. A better plan would be to supply every school child with a liberal supply of tin tacks, and instructions to ignore all laws of economy in their distribution in the vicinity of the schools and playgrounds.