SCOTCH! HOTCH! POTCH!

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 32, 22 October 1920, Page 10

SCOTCH! HOTCH! POTCH!

(Contributed by "The Groper."

Oi corafort, no man speak! Let's talk oi graves oi worms aiid epitaphs { Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes, Write sorrow^ on the bosom of the earth — Let's choose executors and talk of wills And yet, not so, for what can we bequeath Save our deposed bodies to the ground 5 Qur lives, our lands and all our Bolingbrokes, And nothing can we call our own Save death and that small rnodel of the barren earth Which serves as paste and cover to our bones. -—Shakespeare's Ricbard III. A apeech that will be repeated, in the fortbcomirig era. That valiant patriot and friend of the oppressed, Thomas O'Bryne, . is gaining fresh econiums from his grateful peopLe. The vietories tlius far achieved by the distinguished commander "of labour have been marked by a series of operations r,evealing great tactical skill. Bo far grand strategy has not been employed in the burly-burly of class war. Lest anyone should think that non haiant commander to be lacking in the high art of war we would uiention that. he is at present extracting money, by way of subscripitions, from the platocrat Our worthy C'rown Prosecutor, M r W. Macalister, we understand wras one of the first enmeshments. When the Labour. Hall commemorating the strategic achievements of Commandant O'Bryne and his forces becomes reality,- our Crown Prosecutor will be lucky if he escapes the doclc of the Labour Supreme Court and lackier still if he retains more than a uaodicum of his presents assets. In a,ny c»se the present dispositions of the masier oi war lierein referred to reveal his intention to teach the young id,ea how t» get the needful from the chaps who have it. For this purpose, if for no other, a Labour Hall is necessary. The best thing the business and professional classes can do is. build it quick ! When the Iron Duke, Wellington, approaching his eightieth year, was crossing the street to his London residence, Apslat Hauae, a gushing sort of an individual took nold of the Duke's arm and assisted htm aoros? The duke smilecl and was in the act of sa'ying, "Thank you," when the indiscreet oue said? "I have had a long and by no means uneventful career, but never did T hope to be honoured by rendering. your lordship — — "Don't be a darnn fooi,". said Wellington, as he tarned on bis beelShakespeare's linea .afcout the man who hafch no rousic in himself being fit for sfcratagems and spoils and being dark as Erebi^ flashed through as we listened to fcfee harmonies of the Male Choir last week. If it be true that, "Love levels all ranks -and lays the shepherd's crook beside the sceptre," it is not amiss to 4ay that music sits the medical practitioner alqngside the fishmonger, and the baker alongside the bank manager. Religions, orange and grean, were well represented. The millanium would be here could we get, H. Sharp, W. Burke and "Iona," and the "Times" editor into the Male Choir. The

magic stick of W. Quinu would dispel any gathering clouds and- these gentlemen would learn to know ,each other so well that if they continued to differ they would do so without malice. It is gratifying to note that the Power Board people are beginning to make excuses for their neglect in not giving reasonable puhlicity to their handling of the Board's affairs. One or two of the officials of the Boarcl are well known to possess a self-sufficiency that at- times overleaps itself. These men, however, have their qualities and will do well enough if given to understand clearly what is espected oi them. The old saying, "Gie a beggar a horse and ye ken whaur he'll gang tae," ,i8 always heing examplified Most chaps are good at spending the other fellows's money — if the other fellow doesn't ask questions he deserves all he gets. A young lady whose beauty is equal to her bluntness in conversation was visiting a house where other guests were assembled, among them the eldest son of a rich manufacturer. The talk turned on matrimonial squabbles. Said the young man : "I hold that the thing for the Husband to do is to begin as he intends to go on. Say that the question was one of smoking. I would at once show my intentions hy lighting a cigar, thus, then

,, 1 and tbere settling the question forever. j "And I," said the young lady, "would at ; once knock the thing out of your mouih?" | "Do you know," rejoined the young man j thoughfcfully, "I don't think that you j would be there," That sterling cambination the Puheki' n Band continues to please in ...11 i's [ ublic offerings. If the Hibernians do advtitise a little they certainly produce the goods. The Rev._ Sharpe and Dean Burke are "at it" in the "Times." We would like to see the full text of the Ne Temere decree published for the enlightenment of all. The general public would know better how to assess values iii its presc-nce. The Regimental Band is making good progress under Mr W. J. Siddall. This conductor's work with the Dommion Band at Dunedin was brilliant considering the defects of the combinatiori, instruments, and the short time spent in getting ready for the contest. The Regimental Band should go to Nelson a stronger combination than the Dominion Band was at Dunedhq that is on their present form. Qumn's Male Voice Choir is an organisation that does the town credit. Nothing is more entrancing than the human voice harmonised and handled artistically. Kuccess to the Male Choir. A Scottish parson, still on the under side of forty, was driving home from an outlying village when he overtook a young woman. He recognised her to be a maid of all work on the farm of one of his parishoners and offered her a lift. Mary gladly accepted the lift and thanked the minister when he drew up and let her down out of ihe baggy. "Don't mention it, don't mention it," said the minister politely. "No I won't, I assure you," said Mary. Two would -be clever London dandies accosted a Highland shepherd with : "You have a very hne view here Donald j You can see a great way." f "Yes, yes, a ferry, ferry great way indeet." "You can see America from here, I presume," continued one of the dandies. "Och aye, far farror than that." "Farther than that?" "Aye, you two clever f ellas nad betitr jist wait till the mist clears awa and sl e IS show you the moon,"