CAPITAL AND LABOUR.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 28, 24 September 1920, Page 3

CAPITAL AND LABOUR.

AS SEEN.. BY MR DOOLEY. "It was different whin I wuz a young man, Hinnisy. In thim days capital an' labour was frindiy, or labour was. Capital was like a father to labour; givin it its board an' lodgin's. Nayther intrfered with th' other. Capital wint on capitalisin, an' labour wint on labourin'. in thim golden days a workin' man was an honest artisan. That's what he was proud to he caJled. Th' week before iliction he ' had his picther in th' funny papers. ile woxe a square paper cap an' a leather apron, an' he had his ar-rm around Capital— a rosy, binivolent.ol' guy with a plug hat an' eyeglasses. They was goin' to th' polls together to vote f'r simple oi* Capital. "Capital an' Labour walked ar-rm in ar-rm, instead of havin' both liands free, as at present Capital came ar-round an' felt th' ar-rm iv Labour wanst in awfiile, an' ivery year Mrs Capital c&lled on Mrs Labour an' congratulated"her on her score. The' pride iv ivery artisan was to wur-ruk as long at his task as th' boss cud afford to pay th' gas bill. In return f'r his fidelity he got a turkey iv'ry year. "At C'hristmas time, Capital gathered his happy family ar-round him, an' in the prisance if th' ladies if th' neighbourhood give thim a short oration. 'Me brave la-ads,' says he, 'we've had a good year. (Cheers). I have made a million dollars. (Sinsation). I attribute this to me supeer. yer skill, aided by ye'er arnest efforts at th' bench an' at th' forge. (Sobs). Ye have done so well that we won't need so many iv us as we did. (Long and continuous cheering). Those iv us who can do two men's wur-ruk will remain, an', it possible, do four. Our other faithful sarvints,' he says, 'can come in th' spring," he saySj "if alive,' he says. "An' th' bold artysans tossed their paa. per caps in th' air an' give three cheers f'r Capital. They wur-ruked till oi' age crept on thim, an' thin retired to live on th' wish-bones an' kind wur-ruds they had accumulated. " — Mr Dooley (Peter Finley Dunne).