Of Interest to Women.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 19, 23 July 1920, Page 12

Of Interest to Women.

ON TRUTHFULN ESS. Truthfulness is a virtue of whose value and rarity we have no doubt. It is fundamentally valuable ; without it, we can have no right dealings with our fellows. As the first feat of creation was "Let there be Light," so the first rule of charactei' must be "Let there be Truth." Unfortunately this virtue is as rare as it is precious. There is hardly a human beitig, male or female, old or young, that will not ruffle up a protest with vehemence against being called a liar; but there are very few — and those possibly the least pro_ testive — who are really truthful. It is not the thing lhost folk dislike ; they are as a xr.atter of fact so used to fibs and prevarications, and reservations, and equivocations of various, degrees, that in nine cases out of ten, they do not realise that they utter them. What they do obj.ect to one and all, is the plain name for these things. You must not give them "the lie direct." Those who have dealings with children and young people, must know how difficult ii is to get the truth from a child, and that even among adolescents, truthfulness is comparatively rare, in the case at any rate when confession of wrong-doing is required. The majority -of girls from ssxteen or seventeen, upwards, are perfectly trustworthy in most matters ; they have as a rule a high sense of honour and feel deeply the unfairness of cheating, its shame, and that of all other dishonourable practices. I believe too that the tradition of truthfulness is growing among g:rls as well as the tradition of fair-play, and the practice of keeping the mind with open doors and windows. Among them, lying, as a moral weakness, is due generally to fear ; as among children it undoubtedly is, fear of censure, of scolding, of punishment, of pain. Tiiinking over my experience with people of various ages, I am inelined , to the opinion that young persons between fifteen and t-venty are more generally truthful than either children or grown-ups. They are at the stage when noble sentiments' and high ideals mahe the most powerful appcal ; they have in part learned the real nature of punishment as the effect of wrongdoing and if carefully dealt with, may hecome bravely truthful. Kept under a system of rigid restraint, however, ruled over by an arbitrary authority and threaten ed with arbitrary punishment for breach of rnles which they have never been taiight to look upon save as captious restraints upon their liberty, they will dev- . elop into prime little deceivers, with an idea that to evade and fiout authority is aii evidence of genius and high spirit. Younger children are very often untruthful ; hecau.se fear is stronger in them and authority less seldom in their case, condescends to eplain itself . Grown-up people are sophisticated and think the smaller kinds of lies quite venial matters. Self-interest with them takes the place of fear. Lack of judgment and accuracy leads them into mis-statememts of all kinds, often just as injuripus as^wilful perversion of the truth. They are uuable to see ' themselves ; their acts, their relahions to others, clearly or in true proportion. They deceive themselves; they are led away by illusion. How else can one account for the fact that if two persons " are at loggerheads over a matter, their accounts of the affair never agree. And there are some who delight in th^e . half-truth, the coloured statement, the judicious insinuation that sets them in a favourable light while it puts others in the wrong. There are even women who make a constant practice of these arts to gain their ends. I have met some choice specimens and studied them. Very likely there are men who do so too. The question now arises for us women, rnany of whom are teachers and most of whom are mothers, how can we train those under our charge to. be truthful. I am going to give a few of my ideas, and if yours do not agree, it will be your turn to advise next week. The normal child is fairly docile and inelined to good ; loving, it responds to love ; sensitive, it fears shame and rebuke. If some particular child is abnormally wilful, or violent, or prone to mischief, speciah study and care are required in dealing with it. Above all things consta-ncy is needed. To he severe to-day and lax to-morrow is to invite failure — to presshim to come in. While still too young to understand the true nature of punishment, children need most and especially and altogether, to be watched and led to form good habits. As early as possible, however, they should be taught to understand that wrong-doing is wrong-doing, because it brings ill effects ; that to tramp into the house with muddy boots is to make work for tired mothers; that to paddle in the gutter is to spoil boots and bring on colds ; that to shout and screech is to ruin the voice, and annoy piher people ; that to reach for the uutter,

eat with one's knife, to be greedy, and illtempered are all to make oneself disgusting instead of pleasing to one's companions. I believe that if we were patiently trying to teach our children on these lines instead of just administering puoiaiscuouc and unexplained slaps and abuse, we should achieve very different and much better results. Only how can we teach what we have never taken the trouble to understand ? And children should rarely or never be asked whether they have been guilty of wrong-doing. It is to court untruthfulness to ask them such a question, especially when experience has taught them to expect slaps and shakings and abuse, as the result of confession, What more nakura! than to take refuge in' "I didn't do it." And above all, grown-up people in charge of children should remember that examples goes further than precept. Are you careful to tell the truth always to your children ? Do you never get in a passion or a pet before them; do you try always to be just, polite, unselfish, sweetmannered, quiet as you want your girls and boys to be? When parents and teachers learn to watch themselves first, remembering always the power of example, they will have solved three-quarters of the problem of dealing with the young.