WIT AND HUMOUR.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 17, 9 July 1920, Page 12

WIT AND HUMOUR.

WHAT DID HE MEAN. Jones was a "hog." Yes! He had just purchased a motor bike. One hoisterous March day, when scorching down a steep hill, his hat hlew off, but a passing and polite yokel obligingly chased it, and handing it to him, saved him the trouole of dismounting. "I really must get a piece of string .to keep it on." r,emarked Jones, as he started off without a word of thanks. Tlie hornyhanded son of toil's answer was short but expressive, "Get a nail. " PAID BACK IN HIS OWN COIN. Bill was going to the football match. when he met Jim with a melancholy look on his face and hands deep in his pockets. "Going to the match, Jim?" he cried cheerily. "On the rocks." "Well, I've got a bad sixpence," said Bill, "and, if you care, you can try and get in with it." Jim seized the opportunity, and passed through all right. Bill followed, and having nothing but a shiling he planked it down. His feelings can be imagined when he was returned the bad sixpence as change. A SERIOUS MATTER. Ikey and Mossy went outside Solomon's pawnshop, and, noticing that Ikey carried a three days' shave, Mossy inquired the reason. "'Ave you not heard the news, Mossy ?" "No, Ikey." "My. little Moses vas killed Saturday moming in the Synagogue," "Shobbos ! How vos that, Ikey?" "Vell, ve vas all paying oifr devotions vhen one of those cursed protestant blokes yelled through the front entrance, 'Who'll lend two quid on the Ascot Gold Cup ?* and my poor little Moses was trampled to death and Rebecca lost her diament brooch." "Yas the brooch worth much, Ikey?" NOT QUITE. "What is an anecdote, Johnny?" asked the teacher. "A short, funny tale," answered the little fellow. "Quite right," said the teacher.. "And now, Johnny, you may write on the blackbcard, sentence containing the word." Johnny hesitated a moment, and then vrrote this: "A rabbit has four legs and one anecdote!" Although he overcharged me terribly," said the returned traveller, "the cab driver who took me over Paris was most polite." "All Frenchmen are," his friend replied. Yes, hut this one got off his box and helped me to find the necessary language in my French-English dictionary so that I might say what I thought of him."