FUNNIOSITIES OF CHILDHOOD.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 14, 18 June 1920, Page 15

FUNNIOSITIES OF CHILDHOOD.

The other evening, whilst being tuhhed, a little girl, aged four, suddenly twisted her head round to an alarming angle in an effort to see down her chuddy hack. "Mummy," she lispcd, "whereaboute is I sewed up ?" She had been comparing her small figure with that of her doll, and couldn't understand why dollie should possess a "join" whilst she didn't. Children have the most extraordinary convictions which 110 amout of reasoning will shake. But then one seldom has a chance to rea on with them, for grownups are rigorously excluded from the fairy land of their thouglits. Look back, dear grown-ups' to the days of your own childhood, and you'll find that though many important happenings are forgotten some' curious fad or fancy stands out with startling vividness. F or instance, amid a chaos of faded memories, I can see in my mind's eye a hole about as large as a five-shilling piece in my one-time nursery floor. My little brothes and I were dead certain that this hole led straight tro the home of the Queen Bee, and msmy were the treasures we dropped down as tribute. Gherished beads, huttons, peppermints, and marbles all found their way down that hole as la-rgesse to tlie Queen Bee. In matters of religion, too, children are most quamt. They claim an almost personal acquaintance with the Creator. I known one little boy who regards liis cot as a Rolls-Royce, and before climbing into it at hedtime performs somo weird rite with the brass-knobs, whicli he calls "starting the car." The other night, in the interest of some particulariy enihralling fairy tale, he forgot his performance. Not for long, however. In the midst of his prayerful, "Please bless mummy and daddy and make me a good boy," he stopped short unclasped his dimpled ha-nds, unscrewed his haby eyes, and, jumping up, exclaimed, W ait a minute, God — my motor's stopped !" I was once in charge of a nurseryful of children, and, struck by their suspicious quietude one afternoon, I peeped into the playroom to ascertain that. no mischief was afoot. 1 found the little brpther, Gerald, underneath the table, enthroned in state upon a hassock and majestically draped in an antimacassar, whilst the other kiddies squatted solemnly around him. "Gerald s pretending to be God," they whispered awe-somely and we're the angels in heaven!" And who has'nt noticed the curious words and phrases coined by childish lips ? A family of kiddies I know have invented quite a code of their own, and by dint of discreet questioning I discovered that, according to their vocabulary, "Boss-soss'soss" meant anything soft and appealing, such as a new baby or a Persian kitten ; "sashey" described slovenliness in dress; "Alle-alle-ahph !" cryptically announced the ernl of a game; and "Rhubarb Alice" described the juicy tendrills of tlie Virginia creeper ! Everybody, I suppose, is familiar with that yarn. of tlie Cockney urchin who mistoqk that phrase in his nightly prayer "Leacl us not in to temptation," for "Lead us not into Thames Station !" but the other day I heard, first hand, almost as comical a mistake. A tiny girl, whose way home from scluool lay past a Jewish place of worship, came in late for tea. "I hope you haven't heen playing in the streets, deax? said her mother. "Oh, no, Mumsie," was the tot's reply, "I've only heen watching the Jews going iak> their grin^og!" K.S.