MORE BIRDWOOD YARNS.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 14, 18 June 1920, Page 11

MORE BIRDWOOD YARNS.

(From the "Sydney Daily Mail.")

It was a well known fact throughout the A.I.F. that the' Fourth Division were very rarely out of the line. Why they got more than their "cut" no one ever knew. Tne following yarn about Birdie originated in the bath house at the War Chest dub, London, from a few of the "hard heads" of the Fourth Diwy : — "The war had been over 30 years, and Birdie was on a visit to Paris, and, of course, renewed his acquaintance with Marshal ,Foch. They were st-rolling along one of the boulevardes discussing the Great War, when Foch turned to Birdie and says : "Say, Birdie, how many divisions of Aussies did you have over here?" Birdie scratched his head and says : 'Let me see — five, I think." And then commenced to count, two, three, five. Foch turned round and says: "What about the Fourth?" Birdie became very excited, and said: "Good heavens ! I forgot to relieve them ! They must be still in the trCnches." Birdie met six Diggers leaving a village, and he noticed that every man's timic bulged considerably, and from the front of one feathers protruded. "Wnat have you ' in your tunicy, boys?" iiiquired Birdie. "Feathers, sir," replied one with a face of stone. "Ah ! For your mattresises,- eh?" queried Birdie, although his eyes glinted suspicuously. "Good idea, boys!" And he passed on. Later he met an old French woman in tears, with her hands full of fowls' heads which had been freshly screwed off. Birdie scehted fowl-play, and his thoughts flashed to the six Diggers, but, being a sport, he thrust some francs into her hand. He evidently reasoned that Diggers fed on poultry should be game fighters. He despatched an order to a certain Brigadier ; but even to this day the brigade cannot understand why it had to do a stunt out of their turn. General Birdwood, though not a very good swimmer, yet frequently joined the boys in the waters of Gallipoli beaches and enjoyed their frolics. Sometimes, however, these giant bushmen indulged in horse-play, such as getting on_one's shoulders and ducking one right under. One of them, not recognising him, picked on the General, and down he went. When the General came up the Digger put his hand on the General's shoulder and said, "You fat old pot, you look well fed, anyhow ; living on the beach, I suppose." On the beach one was supposed to "get the goods." The General fearing another immersion thought to pacify the Digger by disclosing his identity, announcing himself -as "your army corps commandpr;" but the giant Digger, not in the leaat abashed, remarked, "A good job ; and it takes some looking after, too." Whije the Second Division were resting in a French village called Colemhert just .after the Ypres stunt the General arrived for the purpose of presenting decorations. After the usual formalities General Birdwood addressed himself to the business in hand after this fashion : "Boys, this is one of my happy days. The only regret I feel is that, unfortunately, there are not enough of these decorations to go 1-ound. Every man deserves one, and to those who have missed the honour to-day — well, I can only say it will surely be their good fortune to get one next time." Then warming up to his theme, "You have covered yourselves with glory, and Australia is proud of you. She watches you; yes, watches you with pride, as she reads of your daring deeds," etc., etc., Digger's voice breaking into the flow of eloquence : "Tripe!" (only the term used was even less polite). The General thrown out of his stride for a moment, recovered himself smartly. "No, boys. not tripe! This is tripe," pointing to the treble row of decorations that adorned his own hreast, ' out what I say is 'fair dinkum.' " There was a roar of applause. That night Birdie's health was drunk in vin blanc and vin rouge. One night in a canteen in Armentieres a mixed crowd of Diggers and Tommies were arguing about the army. "Well," *aid a Tommy, "old Jerry did catch us napping in '14, but never again, We've got Haig, Plumer, and Rawlinson now; they stand for discipline and efficiency, and they're the boys who are teaching the army." Just then about a fathom and a quarter of thoroughly-soused Digger came unstuck off a barrel, and, ambling over to the Tommy, said: "Dishplin' — hic — an — an' ffish'ency — hic! An' when Plumer and Rawlish'n finish teachin' army — hic — we'll fendsh yer our Birdie — hic « — to finish teachin' — hic — Plumer and — hic — Rawlish'n."