DIGGER YARNS.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 12, 4 June 1920, Page 14

DIGGER YARNS.

ABOUT GENERAL BIRRWood A Digger who had a week's tr " • leave went up to London, and, aft ^ ' ing a good time, returned by' the^ ^ train which would bring him ] camp ; but, unfortunately,°he got ^ M a drink at Reading, and; meetine a , , of Jocks, had quite a few. \y|leil I turned the train had gone, and as he ^ late on arrival he put put in "cliuk " T was brought before General Birdwood morning and charged with beitw a.w.l. (absent without leave). "My man," said the General, "y0Uw six hours a.w.l. How do you plead?" ' "Well, sir," said the Digger, "it like this. I caught the right train, ^ got out at Reading for a cup of Red Cr^ tea, and the Jocks were on the statiu k and, blime, if the band did'nt strike m, " 'Gawd Save the King,' so I had to ^ at attention, the blooming train steamej out of the station before the band stopped — fair dinkmm, sir." Case disrnissed.

Ibe General was going his usual roundj one morning on the Peninsula, and, sej.. ing a Digger "chat-hunting," says, "Good. morning, my lad. Picking them out!" "No," replied the Digger; "taking them as they come," It was a beautiful day after a spell oi mist and rain,, and the officers of A Company of a certain battalion were sportiig themselves in the sun outside company haadqffuarters in Una trench, opposite Deulomont in the early part of December, 1917. As was his wont on a sunny aftemoon, the company commander, "Bill," lay down to sieep behind thepaiados of the trench. A. wily subaltevn "hunter," entering the company' s headquarters in the hope of a "wad, wjj disappointcd to find the place empty, but hearing a sound as distant thunder not far aw.ay, resolved to investigate. Ho soon fouiul Bill fast asleep. Thinking of his thirst, he practised bomb-throwinj with clods of earth and wet mud, 4nd, althcugh several direct hits were obtaia-j &d, no visible change occurred in the? source of thunder. Giving it up ae hopeless, "hunter' determined on a personal reconnaissance of the dug-but. Bill, having become fed-up with homb-throw-in>T, and one ear being full of soft mud, decideu to waka up, and made preparation to wage a counter-offensive by collecting a large ball of very soft mud. Bill had not long to wait, as soon steaJthy steps wnre heard approaching a'ong the trench and finally stopped a iew yards from where he was. With the lump of soft mud in his hand he rose slowly, until tha top of a tin hat could just be seen. Ha then let drive with all his force, and stood up. He had missed Birdie by a short f oot ' Feeling as if he had no legs at all, Bill explained, and Birdie smiled. Just after the Bullecourt stunt the Set ond Division was waiting patientiy to that long-promised "rest" of Birdie s. The • big stunt was over, and that rest stiH , seemed as elusive as tlie Scarlet Pimpern when Birdie happened along a metal roa . which some 6th Field Company Engineers | wero digging, and he said to one, Ke-->i . Sapper ! What -are you digging there for- j The sap per replied, "I am diggmg t-o st | if there is another division in I'ro"® j besides the Second." "You il be rekw j soon, m'y man ; you'll he relieved, -al Birdie. And we were, too — A sentry lolling against the sule of » front line trench in Flanders as even ing accosted by a stranger, w w ^ 1 quired where his officers were to be o' 1 "You're not likely to find any o ^ ^ ■ blanky-blank bounders up this far; plied the Digger. "You're more h ey , I them in a snug dug-out away bac-v "Do you know to whom you an- sr inquircd the stranger. >( I "Haven't the slightest idea, the Digger. „ th» "I'm General Birdwood, went ' '. • ■ m attention j at the same time springing ^ | and presenting arms, synchronisn , movement with his exclamation. i-y excito*I» ] One new-chum Digger, ^e j ^ j bailed General Birdwood '-P ^ . thus: "Are you the Oflonob s1^ ' ^ j going to .get into a roW' over tha j major is looking for you place."