HOTCH! SCOTCH! POTCH!

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 12, 4 June 1920, Page 10

HOTCH! SCOTCH! POTCH!

(Contributed by "The Groper.")

BURNS — NOT MUCH.ELSE.

My barmie noodle's working prime, My fancy's yrekit up sublime Wi' liasty summon, -Hae ye a leisure mo.ment's time, To hear what's eomin' ? Truth to tell there is "comin' or - forthcoming, as you English chaps prefer. However, nevertheless, n ot w ith stand i.ng as Dairy Lauder would say we'il gie ye ths real McKay, pure and unadukerated ira" the land o' oat cakes, whu§ky and Burns. Martin Anstey XI. A., B.D., London, the eminent stholar and Biblical student say 3. "The best commentary on. the Bible i.s the Bible itself." So say we of Burns. The great Beot who remarked, as liis fatal liour neared, that the Psalnis of David and tlie poems of Burns would help him iritn the Kingdoin was not far from the t-ruth. Let prudes, gnat-minds, the supercilious and th.e genuine souls who sincerely differ. differ. L( t them differ. What the world waiiti is truth and the raan who does not write it has no right to be called a genius. The Bible, Shakcsp are — aye Burns, if you like, hold sway, iri the minds where they are read and niiderstood because they fiit one hard — tliey compel one to say — "that harmonies with history and my own heart." It is tr uo to life.. It is a gross libel on the work of Burns, taken wholly, to say that it other than editi.es. The e' -:.ry of his licentiousness and woe ; told truth fully by Burns himself is no more debasing than the history of the whpremongering of Samson or the adultery of Israel's greatest King. Burns/ in more bomely language than that other rnighty Scot, who was so English, as to be ashamed oi his mother's aceent — Bryon we mean — eoncurred in : — "The motb, Ihe canker, and the rust are mine alone, I love the virtuea that I cannot claim." — Byron. However : — - HaLe by your heart, hale be- your fiddie ; Lang may your elhuck jink and diddle, To cheer you thro' the weary widdle 0' warly cares, Till bairn's bairns kindl-y cuddle Your auld, gray hairs. For me, I'm on Parnassus' brink, Rivin' the words to gar them clink; Whyles daez't wi' love, whyles daez't wi' drink. Wi' jads or masons ; Au' whyles, but ay owre late, I think Braw sober lessons. Of a' the thoughtless sons o' man, Comnien' me to the Bardie clan Except i I b.e some idle plan 0' rhymiii' clink, The devil-liaet, that I sub ban, They ever think. Search where you will Burns is brim fuil of wit and satire. Rere THE CALF. To Ihe Rev. Mr James Steven. On his text, Malachi IV. 2, — "And ye shall go forth, and grow up as CALVES of the stall. " (The laugh which t'nis little poern raised againsfc Steven was a loud one. Burns cornpoged it during the. sermon to which it r.elates and repeated it to Gavin Hamilton, with whom he happened on that day to dine. The Calf — for the name it seems stuck — came to London, where the younger brother of Burns heard him preach in Convent Garden Chapel, in 1790). Right, sir! your text I'll pro-ve it true, Though Heretics may laugh ; For instance ; theres' yoursel' just now, Guid knows, an uiico Calf ! \ And shonld some patron be so kind, As bless you wi' a kirk, I doubt na, Sir, bnt tlien we'll flnd, Ye're still as great a Stirk. Biit, if the lover's raptur'd hour, Shall ever be your lot, Forbid it, ev'ry heavenly power, You e'er shonld be a Stofc; Tho', when some kind, connubial dear, Your but-and-ben adorns, The like has been that you may weajr A noble head of horns.

And iu your lug, most revercrid Jaines, To hear your roar and rowte, The men o' sense will doubt your claims To rank amang the nowte. And when ye're numberM wi' fcfee dead, Below a grassy hillock, Wi* justiee they may maj-k your head — "iiore lies a famuus Buliock !' SQLDIBRS ONLY. Rcsol ved : — That " Jock" Cuthill late Captain N.Z.E.F., . now of Invercargill, grain broker, competitions secretary, and late secretaiy B.oxing Society— and of golf fame, be requested to refrain from knocking "seven bells" out of respectable tony Gladstone. We know you want the cliicken coops. We know you like roast "chookie," h-ut roaliy buildipg chicken coops and storming Seddul Ba-hr are two dif/erent operations. Take the tip and Colin McDonald will take the carburetter to pieces. That "Denny" Hunt be asked not to put all his "hoot" nnder the P.O. clock. Bdly "Mitchell of W.S. and Co. has a good "sp.ee" for him. That thq land agents should combine thus : — Bulling Wilson and Haul-aavay Traill, Ltd. In a olose finish on a deal Stewart could Rout them. Ile is "perpetually" on it and has a Fortune.