SCOTCH! HOTCH! POTCH!

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 11, 28 May 1920, Page 6

SCOTCH! HOTCH! POTCH!

(Contributed by the Groper.)

BURNS AND OTHER PEOPLE.

My barmie noddle's working prirae, My faney perkit up sublime Wi' hasty summon, Hae ye a leisure-moment's time, To hear what's comin' ? — Burns. The best of known of local Iiaighs (J.R. ) naively suggests that he and the illustrious Sir Douglas hark back to a eommon ancestry, once resident at "Haighmore ?" in Yorkshire. When asked for an explanation as to the absence of the terminal "h" in the Field Marshal's name, J. R. suggests that a certain great grandfather of the family had a niece, whose second son's first cousin went North of the Tweed on a wooing excursion. Here he secured a thrifty Scotch wife, who, for purposes of economy (i.e. ink saving) deleted the fmal "h," hence the Scotch Haig's are English after all and should spell their name "Haigh." — Tell the FieldMarshal. The imp at my lug suggests that somo such unfortunate happening has oecurred in the name Hargest. A man to have achisved in a fcrief year or two of war such fame as our Lieut.-Colonel must have Norihem blood somewhere. Without more ado we'll pick up the lost "Mac." It is no concern of our readers where we found it. Of one thing be sure — vote for "MAC" HARGEST. A fighter'is needed on the Land Board. But bring a Scotsman ir&e his hill, Clap in his cheek a Highland gill, Say such is royal Gcorge'g will, An' ihere's the foe ; He has nae thought but how to kill Two at a blow. Europe's political arcna in 1920, with its s.everal arguments, brawls, and bloodlettings in progress, is not unlike the Europe of 1790. At liorae the Court has been greatly purified, principally by the uobility of Victorian era women. St. Stephens governs more liberally if less strongly. "Pimps, sharpers, bawds, and opera girls" still line the paths of opportunity and dalliance. The memory of "Cutthroat Prussian Blades" is fresh upon us and Prussia is still Prussia. — Foch savs so and Foch knows. In 1790 Burns wanted to know : — How the collieshangie works Atween the Russians and the Turks : Or if the Swede, before he halt, Would play anither Charles the Twalt; If Demark, anybody spak o'tj Or Poland, wha had now the tack o't; How cut-throat Prussian blades were - hingin' : How1 libbet Italy w as siugin' ; How royal George, the Lord leuk o'er him ; Was managing St. Stephen's quorum; If sleekit Chatkam Will was livin' ; Or glaikit Charlie got- his nieve in; How daddie Burke the plea was cookin', If Warren Hastings' neck was yeukin; The news o' princes, dukes and earls, Pimps, sharpers, bawds and opera girls; If that daft buekie, Geordie Wales, Was danglin' still at hizzies' tails. Some. of the younger generation of dog and gun men hardly realise that a crime it was to shoot game, by trespass, in the land of Burns. Thus wrcte "Robbie" to his friend Rankine, whom he characterised as "The whale o: cocks for fun an' drinkin' !" "Tvvas ae night lately, in my fun, I gaed a roving wi' the gun, An' brought a paitrick to the grun', A bonnie hen. And, as the twilight was begun, Thought nane would ken. The poor wee thing was little hurt; I straikit it a wee for sporfc, Ne'er thinkin' they wad fash me fc-r t ; But, deil-ma-care ! Somebody tells the poacher-court The hale affair. Some auld, us'd hands had taen a note. that sic a hen had got a shotj I was suspected for the plot ; I scorn'd to lie; So gat the. whissle o' my groat, An' pay't the fee. But, by my gun, o' guns the wale, An' by my pouther an' my hail, An' by my hen, an' by her tail, I vow an' swear ! The game shall pay o'er moor a.n' dale, For this, niest year.

- As soon's the clockin'-time is by, An' the wee pouts begin to cry, L d, I'se hae sportin' by an' by, For my gowd guinea ; Tho' I should herd the buckskin kye For 't in Virginia Trowth, tliey had no muckle for to blame ! 'Tvvas neither broken wing or limb, But two-three draps about the wame Scarce thro' the feathers; An' baith a yellow George to elaim, An' thole their blethers ! Burns "hit off" the public men of his time with the deft hand of genuis. M inister. s of religion were his especial fancy. He applauded a good man when he met him and did not spare the other kind. From "The Twa Herds" : — What flock wi' Moodie's flock could rank, Sae hale and hearty evTery shank ; Nae poison'd sour Arminian stank, He let them taste Frae Calvin's well, ave clear they drank, 0' sic a feast ! The thummart, wil' cat, brock and tod, Weel ken'd his voice thro' a' the wood ; He smelt their ilka hole and road, Baith out and in; And well he lik'd to shed their bluid, And sell their skin. What herd like Russell tell'd his tale, His voice was heard thro' muir and dale He ken'd the Loxd's Aieep, ilka tail, O'er a! the height, And saw gin they were sick or hale. At the first sight. He fine a mangy sheep could scrub, Or nobly fiing the gospel club; And New-Light herds could nicely drub, Or pay their skin ; Could shake them o'er the buming dub, Or heave them in. Sic Twa — 0' do I live to see't, Sic famous twa should disagreet, An' names like viiliam, hypocrite, Ilk ither gi'en; Wfiile N ew-Light Herds, wi' laughin' spite ; Say ne-ither's liein' ! Would it not be rather interesting could we have Burns' description of one or two parsons this town has seen. The best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft a-gley; And lea'e us naught but grief and pain For promised joy. True the surly face of winter scowied on us last Thursday week, but Invercargill for once laughed in his face, demonstrating that the Scot is merely iee-clad with volcariic heat smouldering beneath. His Royal Higlmess, the Prinee of Wales, won all hearts irrespective -of birth or creed, age or sex. This is as it should be, for the British Throne stands for law, order and liberty. But- we love the Prince for his own sake — for his ability to prove himself, by word and action, one of ourselves. "The grief and pain," if any where feit, was merited. In a community such as ours the idea of two or three hundred people being "drafted" for special privilege is ludicrous. A're we not all, John Tamson's bairns— Shaun O'Sullivan's or Bill Smith's. The Prince recognised us as such and wished to see us all. He gave opportunity for all who wished to see him. In other words His Royal Higlmess doesn't want to add to the battalions of snobbery whose silly chatter might remind us of a day when Burns said : — What of earls with whom you have supt, And of dukes you have dined with yestreen ; Lord, a louse, sir, is still but a louse, Thougli it crawl in the curl o' a queen. "The Groper" congratulates Captain Duncan Rae on the handling and appearance of his Guard of Honour. Returned soldier Dick Gould for the obvious interest the Prince took in him dunng the inspection — onlooking ladies sighed. The Tourist Company for supplying so many high grade new cars for the Prince 's entourage. The Hibernian Band for excelling itself at Garrison Hall. It is really possible to have too mucb of a good thing. The selections were rather lengthy for the occasion. Captain Mawson and his High Seliool Cadets for the sturdy bearing of all ranka. ^ And tho people of Invercargill for themselves proud" and learninghow to cheer !