SHORT STORIES.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 7, 30 April 1920, Page 16

SHORT STORIES.

PLAYING, NOT WORKING. A man was brought into court recently ' nrder tho new anti-loafing law. The judge locked at him for a moment, and then aaked. "Whai is vour occupation?" "1 am a musician, your honour," was t'.e reply. "In that cass, I'll have to find yon guilty oi loafing." "BuF your honour," protested the man, "I'm regularly employed. by the Methodist Church as an organist." "That only confirms my oplnion," said the judge. "The law requires every man to work, but your occupation requires you to play." A MISUNDERSTOOD TEXT. The clorgy in less exalted stations than the episcopacy have, perhaps rnore curiona experiences than their superiors. It is always well in preaching, to usc language which the congregation can undexstand. They maka woeful mistakes sometimes, A Buckingham rector once gave out the text, "First Hebrewa nine and ten," wherenpon an old-fashioned farmer called out; "And a very pretty tipple too; I brews eight!" He explained after to the rector Uiat he meant eight bushels of malt to the hogshead. The rector called on him & few days after, pronounced the brewing excellent, and explained his text more fnlly and satisfactorily. EXCHANGE NO ROBBERY. Two business frien-ds who lived in the ecimtry met one day, and one invited the other to dine with him that evening. At the tirne appointed the guest set forfch in the direction of his friend's house, and as the roads in his village were somewhat dimly lightcd he took with him an old-fashioned stableman's laritern. The dinnar was good, the wine excellent, and all wenfc merrily. The next morning, however, he received the following note from his host of the night before: — "Dear Old Man, — I am sending my man over to you with this note, and he brings with him your lantem. If you have quite finished with my parrot and cage I shall be awfully glad if you will return same per bearer." THE FISHIN G-TACKLE SHOP. Mr Jones keeps a shop, whare he seils fishing tackle. For the sake of advertisen ent he has a large rod hanging outside, with an artificial fish at the end of it. In tbe early hours of the morning a man, rather the worse for his night's enjoyment ciughfc sight of the fish,, and went quietly to the door and knocked. Jones, being in bed, looked out the window and asked : "Who's there?" "Don't make a noise," was the reply, "but come down as fast as you can.' Thinking something serious must be the matter, Joneis dressed and came down as quickly as possible. "What's the matter?" he asked breaihlessly. "Hnsh," was the reply. "Pull your line in, quiek. Yon've got a bite!" " W aiter, do you mean to say this ia the steak I ordered?" "Y^, sir." "This looks like the same steak the gentleman across the table refused to eat a few minutes ago." 'Yes, sir; we always tries it three times before we gives it up." Bachelor Friend : "Well, McBride, is there as much billing and cooing as there was before marriage?" Young llnsband : "The billing has increased considerably. "