Passing Notes.

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 7, 30 April 1920, Page 14

Passing Notes.

BY JACQUES

Laugh whero we raust, be candid where we can. — Popo.

Motorman Cowley, in his report to the Tramways Engineer, had stated that he was nearly telling Councillor Miller to go to a place where ice was unknown. — Report of Town Oouncil meeting, 20th April. The Councillor, ye ken, like other Scottish rnen, Is canny, dour, and obstinate, and so 'Twere a waste of breath to teil such a man to go to h — 11, For it's certain that the beg-gar wouldn't go. Mr Oliver, speaking at a smoke concert in Christchurch, said that, "personally he had a great opinion of New Zealanders— he was oue himself." So! "The New Zcaland.ers are a great people; I am a New Zealander ; ergo, I am a great man." The syllogism is delicate and perfect. Reminds one cf Bernard Shaw's definition of patriotism as the feeling that yonr own country is the best in the world becauso ifc has produced yourself.

The Wairarapa Egg Circle reports that stamped circle eggs are selling at 4s 4d per dozen, and that still higher prioes may be yet realised.— "Southland Daily Times," 20th April. We used to think old Aesop's little story rather tall, • Of the goose that golden eggs was wont to lay ; There' s nothing really wonderful about it, after all : Wairarapa hens are doing it to-day. "The Southland Times" is an untrustwcrthy paper. The other day it stated, among its locals, that "Tender advertisements woold be found on pago 2" Being ir.terested in that kind of advt. , which tt*Us that, "Young man, 30 y.ears of age, good looking, amiable disposition, etc., etc., would like to correspond with a piece of feminine perfection, "with a view to above;" or that, " Young lady, bcau.tiful, refined, musical, domesticated, etc., etc.," is yeaming for the companionship of some dark haired, wealthy Adon.is ("photos exchanged") I looked on page 2, but there were no matrimonial or other tender advts. there at all, just a lot of rot about roads, etc. The wai* is to be credit-ed with at least ortc good „thing — it has shown that even kings may be made useful. A little while ago our papers were full of William Hohenzollern's log-sawing exploits. It is probable, liowever, that God's particular friend engaged in that occupation not so much from the desire or necessity of earn-ir-.g an honest trusty, as for the reasons that Gladstone used to chop down trees, recreation and distraction. But, if the cable liar is for once surprising with the truth, it appears that poor old Ferdinand of Bulgaria has been worried by the wolf ii.to attempting to earn his own bread and butter. He is "running a market garden ( at Gotha, and living on the sale of veget- j ( ables." It would be interesting to see the old pirato hoeing up the chickweed and fathen, or trotting around among his cus- ! tomers with a coup'Ie of baskets of as- I sorted vegetables. Shade of Lewis Carro' .' When you wrote of "cabbages and kings," as representing the extremes of unlikely association, you little thought that a very few years would bring them into such intimate juxtaposition as Ferdinand's gai*den must show. j "At Londonderry the police, with a view to quelling the rioting, withdrew from the danger zone, permitting two prests to patrol the streets. Armed only with umbrellas, they cleared the streets bcfore midnight." — Recent iiews item. We were tired of keeping quiet, so decided on a riot Just to let the tyrants know that we were there ; Their machine-guns and their rifles we despised as merest trifles — We could beat 'em to a irizzio anywhere. Oh, gallantly we bore us, and our foemen fied before us, We gcattered 'em, and gafchered up the spoil; We have finished whai we went for— ■ but the dirty cowards sent for Ileinforoements m the shape of Father Boyl®.

Then our bowels turned to water, and we lost our taste for slaughter ; With quaking hearts we hurried to decamp, For our fighting spirit failed us when his Reverence assailed us With some ugly sounding Latin and a gamp. Our old friend, the ffu, is again with us, though with a secmingly changed manner. 0;i his last visit he rau blusterously amok, and, like Paddy at Donnybrook Fair, wherever he saw a head he hit it, and, for the most part, hit il ; hard. This time, however, his marau ; :core suave and gentle, and the Pa-! !':y. "I hope I don't intrude" way that h : n.oves among us is in such marked coutrast to Ids former behaviour that oue can almost far.cy him apologising as he lays his un-

pleasant hands on us. But appearances arc often deceptive, It will be remembered that he was equally gentle and unobtrusive at first in Auckland eighteen menths ago. But as s-oon as his footing became firm he showed his ture colours. And it well that we should be on our guard against any reptition of his former trick. Our vigilance committees have taken precautions, we know. But has everything possible been done to meet a sudden emergency? For instance, many of ous would like to kn-ow if arrangements hr.ve been made for general inoculation in the event- of the disease thxeatening increase in cxtent and intensity. In other ccntres this practice has been largely adopted, and all doubt of its efficacy in mitigating the virulence of the complaint seems to have vamshed — that is, among those best qualified to give an opinion. Of course, tliere are doubt-ing Thomases every where, but, as a rule, their doubts ae ahout as reasonable as those of the woman who said she "didn't- think much of vaccination, because three days after her Tommy had been vaccinated, he fell out of a, window and broke his leg." Experience has proven the value of innoculalion against influenza, and it were wise to take that experience for our guide. Some may oppose it on the score of its inconveniences, but we are told that it does no*, cause an hour's discomfort, or lcss of working time. It were well to give it a trial, as hi the other centres ; we cannot afford to take any risks.

Speaking of inoculation, I am reminded of a story. Smallpox was raging in a southem city of America. Some ladies were afraid that an old negro mammy w 1 o laundried their frillies might catch it, so sent their doct-or to vaccinate her. Doctor ; "Well Lisa, I have come to vaccinate you." Lisa: "Good lor, whai you want to vaccinate ma for?" Doctor: "So you will not catch the smallpox. Come, now, I will vaccinate you on the arm. " Lisa: "God lor, doctor, you mustn't do dat, I couldn't wash." Doctor: "Well, then, Lisa, I will vaccinate you on the leg." Lisa: "Good lor, doctor, yc-u mustn't vaccinate me on de leg, I couldn't stand up to wash." Doctor (an■grily) : "Well, then, if yorn can't be vaccinated on the arm or leg, perhaps you wil! tell me some place where it will be convenient to vaccinate you. ' ' Lisa : (after a moment's reflection) : "WalJ, doctor, I don't get very much time to sit down."