A FAMILY GENIUS

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 4, 9 April 1920, Page 2

A FAMILY GENIUS

It was not altogether the fault of ignatius 0'IIara that he had an exaggecated idca of his own importance. He had i.een suffering froni that royal disease i.nown as swelled head, practically fro.n the ii'.ie when he had first possesscd a head at a'.l, Froir. the moment when he had been a'ble to walk about with any degree of steadiness, people had been in the habit of me&suring his prominent brow and throwing out dark allusions as to the possibility of some such thing as brains being concealecl behind the broad expanse of forehead. Which threatened wave of intellectuality had catised Mrs O'Hara, his indulgent mother, to bring up her promising son according to the light and privileges of a family genius. If ever there was the case of a man having greatness thrust upon liini, that case was the case of Ignatius O'Hara. Lct him do his best or his worst, it was all to the same pnrpose. His grand reputation, travelling in front of him always, made his path difficnlt, and raised hopes which there was no possibility of fulfilling, That he was not a brilliant snccess at school, or that the teacher had greai difficulty in driving anything into hi3 wonderful head, Mrs O'Hara put down to the vagaries of genius. She wotild have him a genius, and notbing but a genius. When Ignatius had arrived at an age when he might be erpected to choose some trade or prof ession, his chief intellectual stock-in-trade consisted oi an accurate and exhaustive knowledge of cock-fighiing and horse-racing. With. snch brilliant endowments, Mrs O'Hara decided that the extraordinary talents of hi- son demanded nothing less than the study of medicine. So Ignatius was sent to the city and entered at the university as a student of medieine. He spent some seven years there, during whieh time he exerted himself mainly in getting rid of his mother's money, contracting debts, and securing infallible racing tips. At the end of that period, Mrs O'Hara being on the verge of bankruptcy, and Ignatius receiving the gentle hint that a university was for the pnrpose of supplying learning and not brains, that incorrigible genius retired to his mother's farm, presumably to complete the ruin of her fortunes. I. was at this stage that the peeuliar genius of Ignatius sought an entirely new field for the purpose of it-s development. Ignatius entered the lists of love. As he had always lived en borrowed reputations, laying claim to what was not his own, it was not to be expected that Ignatius in love would be materially different from Ignatius in school. In shcrt, when he looked for a sweetheart, he proposed to steal one from a friend. His despised eousin, hig John Houlihan, who lived on the side of a neighbouring hill, had modest ambitions, which did not go much further than ploughing sowing, and reaping, but which, in their narrow scope, aimed at the hand of the local beauty, Kate Carney. Ignatius, with his fine airs, had always affected to treat his big country cousin condescendingly, so ^ wa6 something in the nature of a humiliation to him when he had to plead his suit as the rival of a plougH man. O'Hara's modesty, however, was not his most decided characteristic. Also, there was a dowry at stake, and he nerded money b&dly. The country mind, being little exercised, is slow to perceive or draw conclusions Ignatius O'Hara had already insmuated himself into the good graces of Kate Carney, before John Houlihan, her recognised lover, became aware of the fact. Even then, it wras his friend, Phil B>rady, who apprised him of the fact. " 'Tis a terrible shame, so it is," said Brady, ag he met Honlihan on the road, "the way that insignificant little hody Ignatius O'Hara, does be carrying on. What would you think he'd he doing now. No less than setting his cap at Pat Carney's daughter." "The presumptuous little syalpeen!" said Houlihan. "But sure, I'm thinking if he makes no more headway at courting thar. he does at hook -learning, he won^ dr anyone much harm." "John Houlihan," said Brady, "I've seen as purty heads aa Kate Carney 's

turned by fine airs hefore now. Do yon know that it's sending her presents he is ?" "I did not," said Houlihan, with some warmth. "The dirty little individual ! It'll be that oulcl mother of his that will be putting him up to th.y:. Sure, if it's not one thing she har him at it's another, aad if he can't erj^n money by anj' means he can marry it." "And a brave jenny it is, I'm told," said Brady. "Three hundred pounds," said Houlihan, "and more besides. She will have five of the best heifer calves sfeout the plaee the day that she goe* to the altar." "And what, 1 would like to know," demanded Brady, who was evidently burning to see a fight, "has this little spoiled doctor done to deserve it " "Nothing at all, then," said Houlihan feelingly, unless it be in giving impudenee. "I'm thinking," said Brady, "that it was small notice the same - boy took of Kate Carney when ha was playing the doctor in the city. But sure, her money will come in very handy for setting up the remains of a scapegrace in a respectable way." "It will not, then," said Houlihan determinedly. "There are those who have a better right to a girl wit.h three hundred pounds and five heifer calves. Who was it that stuck to her through thick ani thin, when slie was down with the fever, and her beautiful hair came out that she was so proud of?" "Who but yon, to be sure," said Brady promptly. "And it's proud I am to see that you don't intend letting your bone go Avith the dog." "You may depend on it," said Houlihan. "He will never put a finger on that money, even if I should never enter Pat Carney' s door again." "It is left a fit subject for the hospitai he ought to be," said Brady. "I will never touch a hair of his head," sa»d Houlihan, "for I wouldn't know where to hit the little spalpeen to save his life. And, besides, it's taking the law of me for assault he would he anyway." "It would be a mortal pity to let him go unpunished," objected Brady. "Sure, ha has been working for something all these years, and it would be a sin to let the opportunity pass." "I'll lave that to somebody eise," said Houlihan. "For sure, the little fellow hasn't enough brains to bless himself with, and if I can't beat him with brains, I'm not worth my salt." "And what are you for doing, then," asked Brady, somewhat crestfallen at seeiug ihe fight falling through, "if you're not for giving him a licking." "Sure, I haven't just settled it," said . Houlihan, "but I promise you one thing, that I will put O'Hara from troubling Kate Carney." "I believe you," said Brady, eontemplating his friend with admiration, "as if it was done already. I'll keep my eye on that playboy O'Hara, and if you don't bate him with your fists or your head, my name's not Brady." Phil Brady was as good as his word. His activities for some time consisted chrefly in following the movements of Igcati-us O'Hara. Where there was the possibility of a fight- you could always depend on Phil being in the vicinity, and he had not altogether given up hope of bringing Houlihan and O'Hara together in an exhibition of the manly art. The immediate reeult of Brady's obsenution was something which astonished h m not a little. Appearances pointed to the fact that John Houlihan and Ignatius O'Hara had discovered a sudden lilring for each other, and had become fast friends, Brady, who judged appearances to be deceptive, guessed that this portended no good for O'Hara, and decided to follow close on the scent- of mischief. That two friends should be constantly together is natural but thai two rel&tions should be friends is contrary to all experience. Where ver Ignatius O'Hara went, Jchn Houlihan was with him like his shadow or family ghost. Thcy adapted themselves to each cether's habits wonderfoFly, and made the most of the short time at their disposal. They talked cn every-

t-hmg but one subject, and yet there was a suspicion that that subject was the iruplied object of all their conversation. The name of Miss Carney was never mentioned between the two friends. It scemcd as if Ignatius, with his city breeding and genwal air of refinement, had made certain of his conquest of the lady. His natural and hopelessly blind conceit would not allow him to accept the idea of defeat even as a possibility. Houlihan, on the other hand, behind a rough and simple exterior, was evidently playing a cautious game, trying to glean all the information he could get hold of, avul taking good cave that his rival took no undue advantage of him. This novel and imnatural companionsinp did not, as might have been expected, affect the course of true love which ran between Ignatius and the lady. That egotistical gentleman still performed his dexoirs daily at the home of the Carneys, and continued to use up his substance — or rather his mother's — in inundating Kate with all sorhs of presents. He did not even trouble to hide from Houlihan the nature of these presents, for he had the effrontery on one or two oocasions to take his cousin into a drapery emporium, in the market town, to help to choose "something for his sweetheart." Whatever inward pangs these circamstances may have occasioned John Houlihan they did not appear to affect his m tixnacy with O'Hara, which seemed to 1 e ecme closer every day. Phil Brady, whose system of espionage left nothing to be desired, could make very little out of the carefully camouflaged intentions of Houlihaau. The latter, wbo now spent all his leistrre momenta with O'Hara had practically dropped his foimer acquaintances for the time being, He even became reticent towards Brady, who could extract no mformstkm from him beyond an exhortation to patierce. He was evidfinliy laying a doep scheme for the undoing of O'Hara, which admitied of no aecomplice. Tbig stage of things had continued mintcrruptedly for about the space of oue calendar mouth, when the fair at Kiilybracken came on. Houlihan and O'Hata were together as usual, paid their usual visdt to the drapery emporium, drank ratl er much together, it is to be feared, ar.o refcurned home together with every tokcn of good fellowship. Phil Braiy who met them on the road, could scarcely decide which was the worse case, t '11 Houlihan, by a well-calculated stagger, caught him hy the arm and press-xl something into his hand. This proved to be a piece of papcr, which, by strikmg a match and making a lantern of his coat, Phil found to eontaiu the following, written in a very illegible hand : "Meet me at Pat Carney 'a to-morrow evening, about. the same time as Ignatius O'Hara doeg be in the habit of cailing." The following evening, at the time tubseqnent to the hour at which he was due + c meet Brady, John Hcmlihan was sliH busy in his own farmyard. Apparently he had forgotten all about the appointment. Then, as the first faint shadows of night began to fall, Phil Brady in a high state of hilarious eicitemmt entered the yard hurxiedly. "I'm not sure," said Brady, "but what I shouldix't tell you, seeirtg that you ought to have been there to see it ior yooraelf . " "What is it at all, at said Houlihan. "It's the downfall of Ignatius O'Hara

I'm after witnessing with my own two eyes," said Brady breathlessly, "and him being kicked out of the house like any rat by Pat Carney." "How did it happen?" asked Houlihaa. "It was all because of the appoint* mcnt," said Brady, "and following O'Hara to Carney' s meaning to see yourself ther*. If it hadn't been for that, and me hidiug , UDder the hedge to let O'Hara get through ' the door first, I might have missed ihe fight, which with the grace of God I did not." "What fight?" said Houlihan impatiently. "Well, to be sure," said Brady, "it wasn't exactly a fight, being more of & massacre, but it was good value while it lasted all the same. I don't know what happened, but O'Hara had got the lengti ; of the door, and I could see Pat Carney i standing in the doorway eyein| \ hir.-. with a face like a thundercloud, and I Kate looking through the window, not j mveh hetter. O'Hara was about to epeak I t^r& before he could open his mouth, he I rec-eived Pat Carney's fist between the j noso and the chin. There was some j loud talk that I couldn't make head of - tiil of, but I could hear Kate's voke -j urging her father to kill O'Hara. Well, |j after O'Hara's back had made the a-cquain^ | tance of the grorand about a dozen times, it wasn't much of a fight. He seera to enjoy much being knocked dovn, but after that it was a« fine a foot-race f you could wish to see." "I knew it would do it," saad Houlihan. "You knew what?" asked Brady. "I knew," said Houlihan, "that '!• r •. little present I sent Kate Carney yester-Y day would do the trick." "I can't see," said Brady, "what has to do with Pat Carney kicking IgtutH ius O'Hara out of his house." "It has everything, then," said HcbH O hau. "Have you evex heard of . Carney harving the feo»er ?" "I liave srtrely, ' ' said Brady. "And of her losing her lovely bair'Y - said, Houlihan . "I've heard something of that, too, ^ returned Brady. "And of her wearing a wig?" continufi ^ Houlihan. "I have not," said Brady. "Well," said Houlihan, "it's ^ sore point that she has to wear a a but she doesn't like anyone to know- ^ sent her one yesterday from Kilb,i|rJ j ; en. "But, surely — " began Brady. |l "It's how it happened this wav, I Houlihan. "O'Hara bo-ught a I in the draper's yesterday for Kate Gr H — Gloves, and brushes, and combs, f>" I heard him telling the gitivre had got outside, I told him how . left my pipe on the eounter, which ii> ward of a lie. I went back shop, and gave ihe girl the wig in with Mr O'Hara's parcel. thiiiking, Ignatius O'Hara will not ^ viritmg terms with Kate Carney or | time to come." . ' "He will not," said Brady. f°r ^ took him as I came down the his fine linen collar hanging by to tbe back of his f pju': as if a steam-roller had passed and solemnly swfea-ring to have ■ of Pat Carney for- malicious -