Passing Notes

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 4, 9 April 1920, Page 3

Passing Notes

BY JACQUES.

Laugh where we must, be candid where we can. — Pope.

L it is timo that "the good die young," Wellington must be able to give New Zealand towns points in sinf alness. According to the "Southland Daily Times" a "lady" was recently charged there with a theft of a ring in 1817. An old offendor, I presume. PRINCE AND SALES GIRL. P ANAMA, April 1. At the ball given by the British Minister, the Prmce of Wales asked for an introduction to Miss Carleyne Cranberry, a saies girl and danCed four dances with her. The cable-man at P anama accurately appraising our tastes, and impelled by a keen sense of duty, flashed the above message to us a few days ago. It must havo eost a bit, but hang the expense, since it set our loyal hearts palpitating with pride, and gave an added zest to our breakfast bacon. That our own little Prince should descend from his exalted pedestal to seek an introduction to a pretty girl of the people, and that ha should dance four times with her— well, it simply staggered belief. You see, we have read our "Young Lady'g Novellettes," and so know that princes and lords ara, not as other men, even where a pretty face is concernod. But there it was, in print, and cabled too — two sure guarantees of its truth. And now that we have got used to it and we are, feeling hungry for a little more of the same sort of thing. Tlie appetite, you know, grows by. what it feeds on. It would be so niee, for instance, to know whether he i prefers his breakfast eggs hard or soft boiled, his fancy in socks, and his favourite method of wiping his Royal nose, unless indeed it is treason, or sacrilege, or lese majeste something of that sort to refe to the Prince's nose, as it is, or used to be, to speak of the Queen of Spain's legs, Any how, lefc us hope that tui cable mai every where will conthme sending us the stuff that our soul loveth, This is the age of professions. Lik© Byron's heroes, "every day and hour brings forth a new oue." But plentiful as they are, they are mostly overcrowded arenas, in which men fight with each other, like the gladiators of old, for very life and even the sexes are brought into unnatural and unhealthy conflict. A French proiessor, M. Paul Gamot, has, however, suggested a new oue, ' cfor ladies only." It is that of professional maternifcy. Of conrse there is nothing new in the idea of maternity for women ; they possess pecuiiar qualifications for it, and have, therefore, in that domain, always enjoyed complete immunity from the competition of that brute man. But, so far as I know, it has never before been given professional status. The whole details of the French profeasor's scheme — which is intended to cope with the decline in the birth rate— are not yet to hand, but we read that the "mi&sion is to be confided to volunteers," who will be properly "remuonerated," the children to beccme charges of the State. (Poor little beggars !) The proposal shocking as it i3 to our stsid British prejudices, shows ti at the French intend to sink all prudish qualma and grapple with the birth-rata problem in dead earnest, That being so, ani since almost anything may happen in France, if the proposal experiment proves at all successful, we may yet see established there its natural corollary in pro- ! fessional and renumerated paternity.

There seems to be trouble brewing inlreland just now, if one may believe the daily papers. It has long been an open secret that there was some slight dissatisfaction with English rule in that Green Isle, but of lato it has become more pronounced, and proteets against the tyranny of the Lassenach are occasionally made. These mostly take the form of assassination — not too many, about one an hour being the average — with Sunday fre© fights and pitched battles between the troops and popuLace, and a little dynamiting to fill in the slack times between, The situation is rather delicate, and may easily become serions, if not tactfully liandled. Whethor tbe present Government is eqnal to the settlement of the difficulty remains to be seen. So far, littie

has been. tried but repression — the worst weapon possible. Charles the First lost his head, England lost America, Louis of France and Nicliolas of Russia lost their thrones and lives through its use, and hundreds of historic instances of its fntility.could be citod. The reason is very plain. You may bludgeon your obstreporcus neighbour into submission or insensibility, but you will not make a better friend of him thereby. There is no use blmking the fact that right down the centuries we have ruled Ir eland with the rcd, which we used pretty freely at times, wiili no other right than our superior etrength gave us. Small wonder that iii ; Irish regard us ratlier as a harsh stepfather than an affectionate brother. ,, Ireland is tired of the role of sleeping parfcner in the firm of John Bull and Co., aad wants to break away completely and &?t up in business on her own account. Tbxs, we say, we cannot allow, as her | secession would jeopardise Eigland's safj ety. It is to be feared, however, that I the argument of John Bull's self-interest , will have but little effect on Pat, who will j retort that his own interests are HIS first consklcration. and that he believes these wd'l be best served by separation. We have ourselves largely to blame for Paddj's present hostility. Time was when ne asked for, aiid would no doubt have been satisfied with a limited measure of | autonomy. But, whatever he asked for, , we offered something less, until at length, | his patience suapped, and he decided to 1 go 'the whole hog or nothing.' A few years ago the cry in Ireland was for "dominion autonomy" — the same measure of self-government as we in New Zealand possess. This we refused, at the instigaticn of Ulster, who raised the religious bogey — a bogey that was never perceptible io Ejnmett Paniell and scores of other Irish Protestant leaders. Accessi«n to their demands then would not only have bee. 1 just and proper, but would have providcd a safety valre that seems much needed now. Can we keep Ireland within t'jc Empire? That is the question. Evidently not by force, for as has been said : "You may stamp out Sinn Feinism in Ireland, but you will have to stamp out nearly every Irish man in doing it." The only way to keep her is to win her confiderce and affection if we can, by giving h»-' the fnllest possible measure of justice. But perhaps it is now too late, tlranks to Ulster and its Romanist bogey. Beligion is, no doubt, an excellent thing in its way and place, but it is a pestilent thing when used for political purposes, as we in New Zealand proved at the last elections, if never before. Still there is always a savour of good even in things ©vil, and the eternal feud between Catho'Jc and Protestant provides no exception to that rule. It has, at the least, given us some good stories. Here is one of them : — A lady had bought a beautiful green parrot, and called in her gardener, — a true son of the ould Dart and of Mother Church — to inspect it. Pat was charmed with its appearance and eolour, particularly the latter. "What a purty bir-rd, ma'am," he said, "will it talk?" "Oh yes, Pat," said the lady, "just scratch his head." Pat did so, and the graiified bird respca ded with "Hurroo for Ireland." Pat was delighted beyond expi*ession at discovering that the bird was so patrioiic in sentiment as well as in colour, and again scratched Polly's head. This time, howev&r, the bird (which had possibly once belonged to Mr Howard Elliott) screamed out the imprecation, "To the dovil with the Pope!" Pat started back, speecliless witl) anger and dismay. Again the parrot screamed out "To the devil with the Pope." Then Pat's wratli broke loose. Glaring balefully and shaking his fist at the festhered P.P.A. member he shouted, "Be fhe holy poker, it's only your eolour that saves ye, ye spalpeen. If ye wor a canary now, I'd wring your blashted neek!"