Passing Notes

Digger (Invercargill RSA), Issue 3, 1 April 1920, Page 3

Passing Notes

BY JACQUES.

Laugh where we must, be candid where wa can.— Pope.

Whai is the matter with our Town Council nowadays? It seems to have donned the dull robe of respectability, thereby robbing us of much fun. What promised to be a fine healthy breeze the other nigbt fell away to a most disappointing little zephyr. Tramway matters were under discussion when a suggestion from Ct Miller drew from Cr Martin the tactless and childish taunt that if he (Cr Miller) ltnew so much it was a pity he did not have the Tramway Engineer's billet. We held our breaths for a moment, expectmg ructions, but Cr Miller contented himself with the retort that "Cr Martin was very • rude." It wae disappointingly flat, and recalled, by very contrist, the good old days when the council chairs were occupied by , and , and , and (your memory will suply the names). They were mighty men- of war in those days, and sueh a taunt would have been the signal for "wigs on the green," and a little gleam of brightaess would have crossed our chronic gloom. But no matter. Cr Miller will bide his timo. He is a vet., and may yet be called in to attend Cr Martin. And then ! Speaking of the Council ! I see that they intend adding to the number of our tramcars, in order, presumably, that the regulations against overcrowding may not ' feel hurt. Apart from the folly of buy- j ing, as is proposed, n the American market, where the rate of exchange is so much against us :is lo make us feel ;11, what is the matter with motor 'busses. Half-a-dozen of these would supplement our present tram service, relieving congestion at busy times. They could be diverted during slacker heurs, to parts of the town that just- now get 110 benefit from the trams. They could be used, with considerable profit to the town, in taking passengers to the raoecourse, Riverton Beach, and other places of amusement and recreation, which are, for the most part, at present almost inaccessible. And think of the possibilities of a regular and cheap service to tho "depots" and Wallacetown. Why, our rates would fall to nothing. The average missionary is never so happy as when he has something to be miserable about. Even when trouble is sleeping, he prods and pokes it, until, at last, it stirs — and he gets a little of what is owing to him. Then he squeals for help, and our gunboats are sent to extricate him from his mess, and, often, better lives than his own are wasted in the process. The Boxer rising is still fresh in memory^ andrnow he is "at it agaiii" — this time in Korea, where he is deploring the raggedness oi Japanese morals, and painting lurid pictures of vice commercialised under the Jap. regime. The Japs naturally resent this missionary medaling, anu angry words are flying about, and worse thmgs are easily possible. When will these missionaries get sense? We all know that the Japanese are not, by any means, a moral people — no more so, in fact, than ourselves— but, Uke ourselves again, they do not like to be told so. So the action of the missionaries in Korea is about as wise, and as well calculated to promote "peace on earth," as singing "Ihe Boyne Water'' to the Hibernian Band on St. Patrick's day would be. Besides, the Japs know something about us now. They have seen London, Paris, Berlin, New York, C'hicago, and hundreds of other "Caucasian" cities, and their knowledge will make the missionary's hypocritical assumption of superior morality the more irriting to them, so that they will probably end by kicking the aforesaid missionary, bag and baggage (out of Korea. Then we shall again have the usual diplomatic trouble,, possibly worse. Speaking of the missionary. Some time ago the "Literary Guide" ,pu'olished an article on him fron the pey of one who claimed. to have exceptional opportunities of observing the working of the missionary system. The writer declared that the moral and spiritual and other activities of the average missionary were frequently most mischievous. His blunt conclusion was that the missionary was superfluous; that he was nowhere wanted, eithor by his fellow Europeans or by the h ea then them. selves. For my own part, however, I cannot unreservodly sub&cribo to that con-

clusion, There are times and occasions when the missionary may prove very useful and, as the papers say, "fill a long felt want." For example : — ■ GRACE AND MEAT. Elijah Bung, they tell us, A servant of the Kirk, Was particularly zealous In his missionising work. He crossed the briny sea, then, 'To a distant tropic place, And to the dusk heathen Spoke pleasant words of grace. The heathen gathered roun l him, And knocked him on the lxead? In the oven nicely browned hira, And sumptuously fed. With abdomens distended, And smiles serene and sweet, They said, "The grace was splendid, But we much preferred his meat." Hospitality and loyalty, like all other virtues, may be carried to extremes. It looks as though the -good people of Napier were bent on killing our princely visitor with kindness, as it were. The Hawko'e Bay club have directed a Dannevirke pork-butcher to kill and cure the best bacon big procurable "for the Princes' I consumption in Napier." This is a pretty tall order, considering that- his stay in Napier is limited to a few hours, and a good sized baconer is really more than a fair feed for even a nigger navvy. Napier friends evidentally regard the coming visitor, not so much as the Prince of Wales, as a whale of a prince. It may Le that they want to see what he really cai do in the way of eating. Perhaps some of our sports hope that he will succeed in hreaking the record of Albinus, llte Roman, who, we are told, breakfasted lightiy on 500 figs, 100 peacbes, 10 melons, 20 hunches of grapcs, 100 small birds and 400 oysters. On the other hand, it—but surely no one in Hawke's Bay would be so bcse as to intend a practical jos'e on our beloved Prince. It has been claimed you know, that our Royal Family is deseended from King David.