THE PASSING SHOW

Waikato Times, Volume 127, Issue 21230, 28 September 1940, Page 11

THE PASSING SHOW

(By “ Free Lance.”)

Progress: The Australian trans-contin-ental train. The Spirit of Progress, has antimacassars in its parlour. =s= * * * Report from Indo-China. —“A small number of Japanese troops was killed or wounded in the Dongdang clash.” What a funny way to say “ding-dong.” * * * * It seems funny to organise vast entertainments for the British Army to relieve their boredom, when any day they may have the privilege of witnessing The Greatest Spectacle of the Ages. * * * * “ .... I have definite views about the Hun. The only ones any good are those dead.”—The Governor of South Australia, Sir Malcolm Barclay-Harvey. And even they clutter up the place. Things are certainly at fever heat, judging by the war news. “Africa is Boiling,” “Tempers in Syria and Lebanon are Boiling Up.” The only cool spot seems to be around Hitler’s feet. * * * * With firm step and grim determination written on their faces, two men and a boy were seen marching down a street in Hamilton East one afternoon. Seeing a neighbour busy in his garden they called to him, and he joined up. A little farthei along another keen gardener was drawn into the ranks. Stealthily they approached a vacant section and cautiously climbed the fence. Their prey was in sight—a month-old lamb which did not want to move today, thanks, and had a quarteracre in which to manoeuvre. With meticulous care the leader outlined the strategy. At his command they charged. A scuffle followed, and the woolly bundle lay safe in the arms of its new owner. A South African newspaper compares the world war with the first innings of a cricket Test match in which the scores of the various countries are indicated by the number of days they have held out against the enemy attack. Following is the score to date: P. O. Land, c Stalin, b Hitler 10 C. Slovakia, c and b Hitler 0 A. U. Stria, run out 0 D. Enmark, run out 0 N. Orway, c Quisling, b Hitler 62 H. Olland, retired hurt 3 B. Elgium, stpd. Leopold, b Hitler .. 17 F. Ranee, c Musso, b Hitler 294 G. Britain, not out 379 D. O. Minions, not out 379 A. Merica, to bat Tea interval, 8 wickets for ... 1134 SPOT PRESS: Musso bowling from gasworks end.

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

The enemy listens! Watch your tongue. Remember it is a wet place and likely to slip. * * * * We understand that as part of their disciplinary training the new women police are to be placed one by one in a large cage full of mice. “Well pleased I am, Hermann, at der Luftwaffe success at dot place Random. Always der British say der bombs at it fell.” “Ach, mein Fuehrer, I am told there is no such place exists.” “Ha, ha ! Very funny you put it, Herman, undt anoder medal shall I gif you for bombing der place out of existence.” When duck-shooters murmured at the expressed view of the Minister of Internal Affairs that the 1941 season for grey duck should be a closed one, it was remarked that In a closed season the birds lost all fear of the guns and suffered accordingly. Duck-shooters should explain just what this means. Are we to understand that a duck gets so confident that it waddles up to the gun and peers down the barrel, suffering disintegration shortly afterwards ? No, this cannot be. Any shooter would scorn such an easy shot. Does it mean that the ducks behave somewhat as follows: “Hey, Jenny, come and look at these fellows with guns. Ha, ha! who’s afraid of the big bad shooter?” —upon which the angry sportsman shouts “I'll show you,” and lets go with both barrels, causing consternation? Or does it mean that the wise duck advance in column of route, dashing across the swamp at 40 miles an hour, plough a furrow through the shooters’ ranks and dash off again, smiling broadly? Just what does it mean? * * * • A number of new books and songs has been published in Italy by a versatile author and composer. They include:— “The Desert Song,” or “How I Caught the Red, White and Blue Shadow,” by Benito Mussolini. “Hannibal Out-llanniballed,” by B. Mussolini. “Abyssinian Annals—A Mighty People Conquered,” by Mussolini. “Solemn Days in Solium,” or “Dreaming of the Nile,” by II Duce. “Full Steam Astern on the Mediterranean,” by Barnacle Benny (pen-name only). “Whatever Can Adolf Be Doing,” a sidesplitting comedy hit by the celebrated compere, Benito the Muss. The chorus is worth quoting: “Whatever can Adolf be doing, “I’ve had no' letter for weeks. “Alone in the desert I ponder, “The sand burning holes in my breeks.”