THE PASSING SHOW

Waikato Times, Volume 127, Issue 21212, 7 September 1940, Page 11

THE PASSING SHOW

(By “ Free Lance.”)

Rumania is getting carved up but Turkey’s turn won’t come till Christmas, anyway. * * * * Many men could escape the charge of being intoxicated if they just sat tight. * * * * Too many rounds of pleasure always weaken the ladder of success. * * * * This extract from a court report should be pinned on the wall in every home:— Mr said was a married man and was employed on a coastal vessel and earned £2l a month. He was an ideal husband, and gave his wife all his money. * * * * “ The young couple were last seen by friends sunning themselves on a large rock in upper Rico Pass. It is believed Miss Clary became confused and slapped, thereby missing her footing.”—U.S.A. newspaper. Playfully, or a real angry sock? A method of making suit fabrics from fish-skin has been developed in Germany. Hitler, we feel, will choose the habiliments of a shark. Goering will fit nothing less than the casing of a whale, while for Goebbels the tailor will no doubt recommend a nice slimy eel. * m v * Describing from Daventry a tour of the South Coast, a British general remarked that the weather was great. “In fact, no summer in Canada, South Africa or Australia could be so beautiful.” Is it a compliment to our climate to leave us out, a slip of the tongue, or ignorance that a fair amount of water separates us from Australia? * * * * “ Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings—” The Nazi propaganda was in full blare when an eight-years-old and his sister of; six rushed in to their mother in Hamilton the other day. “ Mummy,” said eight-years-old, “ the war is not Germany’s fault. Britain and France started it.” “ Oh, don’t take any notice of that radio talk,” said mother. “ It’s all lies.” “ Well,” said six-years-old, “ if it’s all lies, why do you listen to it? ” * * * * Uncensored comes a story of a visit to the Cairo Zoo by a unit of engineers of the First Echelon, N.Z.E.F. It appears that this zoo is the proud possessor of an ape which can enjoy a smoke, as well as a joke. Delightedly supplying the ape with cigarettes, the soldiers were accosted with some heat by a keeper. In a thrice he was seized, the cage opened with his keys and the luckless keeper clapped inside. An infuriated official was left to watch the soldiers strolling away, accompanied by the happily smoking ape.

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

A new play is entitled “ Who Gets the Car Tonight? ” We understand the play has a bizarre touch in that father gets it. * * * * The Government is said to be strongly resenting the scientific statement that the earthworm is the farmer’s best friend. * * * * Wanted, Copy of Goethe’s Poems or Faust in German; generous payment offered.—Advt. It’s a free country isn’t it ? But can you imagine anyone in Germany having the nerve to advertise for a Bible in Hebrew ? * * * * Housewives have decided that dressinggowns are no good for air raids, according to a report from Manchester, and costumiers are rushed with orders for women’s trousers. It looks as if A.R.P. in the world of fashion is going to mean Air Raid Pants. * * * * German airmen who have taken part in the raids over Britain have been returned to training schools for improvement of their bombing technique. “Iss dot you, Herr Hamburger? It iss Field-Marshal Goering here. Much do I regret I cannot der Air Force recruits address today. Der Fuehrer has me ordered in der corner to stand all day, mit my face to der wall. Alas for der shame of it!” * # * # An American journalist who was not as thoroughly committed to the cause of peace as was J. Ramsay MacDonald, called to his attention the fact that the desire for peace does not insure it. MacDonald replied: “ That is right. Neither does the desire for a meal satisfy your hunger; but it does start you moving toward a restaurant! ” * * * * In support of his suggestion that nations suffer far more from being unable to understand each other’s humour from speaking different languages, an English. columnist repeats the story of the Huns in the Great War and Bruce Bairnsfather’s cartoon. The German General Staff decided that field officers would be better able to extract useful information from British prisoners of war if they better understood the humour of the British soldier. With Teutonic thoroughness, a picture by Bruce Baimsfather was secured, and several thousand copies distributed where it was thought they would be most likely to do good. The picture showed a couple of Tommies moodily surveying their quarters in one wall of which was an immense hole. “ Lumme! ” says one, a newcomer to the Front, “ wot done that? ” “ Mice,” says the fed-up veteran. And underneath was thoughtfully added by the German authorities: “Of course, it wasn’t made by mice really.”