THE PASSING SHOW

Waikato Times, Volume 127, Issue 21194, 17 August 1940, Page 11 (Supplement)

THE PASSING SHOW

Q.ERMAN pilots shot down into the sea surround themselves with patches of green vapour as rescue signals. Call him “a green vapourer” and the pilot is defined by Webster as follows: A sickly-coloured, fear or jealousy-com-plexioned boaster, bully, idle talker and braggart. Our heart leaped when we saw that Italy was protesting about the murder of a bandit, but it wasn’t Mussolini after all. * * * * It has been asked what are the British land forces doing. Busy cleaning up the litter of German planes and pilots, no doubt. “It is not Inconceivable that Japan will make some capital out of the present struggle in the West. —Dr. Alexander Hodge. A Daniel come to judgment! We regret to note that the weekly instalment of the British Empire wrestling championship serial could not be held owing to the incapacitation of this week’s champion. Epitaphs, from a Scottish newspaper:— Goering— Here Hermann Goering lies asleep Beneath a stone some two feet deep— A measure of precaution lest He fret—with nothing on his chest. Hess— Buried here is Hess, Never much—now less. Goebbels— Here Goebbels lieth still. An assistant in a Hamilton store which observes a minute’s silence daily during the war had her meditation somewhat hindered one day this week by the inability of a customer to appreciate what was happening. When the gong sounded he was in the act of handing over the money for a purchase, and was due to receive a penny or two change. The assistant immediately placed the money beside the till and stood with bowed head. Customer was unable to comprehend this strange behaviour, and proceeded to demand his change, not only verbally but by prodding the motionless assistant with his walking stick. If the self-controlled explanation of the assistant when the minute was over had the effect it deserved, this particular customer will not err again.

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

(By “Free Lance.”)

The commanding officer of one of the Canadian destroyers now In English waters is Lientenant-Commander Horatio Nelson Lay. Wonder if he really wanted to join the Navy ? * * * * Copies of New Zealand Abroad, published by the 18th Auckland Battalion, N.Z.A.S.C., on arrival in Egypt, are being enjoyed in the Waikato. Its freedom ol expression and its gags at the expense of all and sundry, officers and men, would make a German soldier sick with envy. E.g. from “Definitions.”— A major knows nothing and does nothing. A lientenant-colonel is a promoted major. * * * • Behind the simple announcement that catering firms will make the Christmas puddings for the troops overseas is a story which has hitherto been kept dark in the national interests. The scene is Egypt. Over a vast area of desert the New Zealand troops are squatted in a great semicircle. From time to time heated arguments rise to interrupt the speaker who has the floor, or rather the sand. It is Private Mac Sporran, and he angrily denounces the suggestion that his mother cannot make a better Christmas pudding than any firm in New Zealand. His mother’s ancestors, he says, made puddings for Bonny Prince Charlie, Cluny Mac.Pherson, Robert Bruce and the Spider, and Scots wha’ Hae. Gunner Tompkins catches the Speaker’s eye and says why not save ammunition? The camp cook rises ponderously and generously offers to cook the puddings himself. His offer is greeted by howls of derision and anguish. Sergeant McTavish wishes to know whether the firms will be allowed to put coins in the puddings. Corporal Skinnenbone would like to move that his former landlady be asked to send Hitler a Christmas pudding. So the argument raged, and in the end it was decided to have puddings from home. Unfortunately a clerk in the adjutant’s office whose father owned a big Christmas pudding factory had other views and upset the works, put a spoke in the wheel, countermanded the order and generally acted in a vile manner by writing to the War Council that the men wanted standardised puddings. And there you have the reason why it has been decided that privately-packed, palatable, puddings are not practicable, preferable of permissible.