THE PASSING SHOW

Waikato Times, Volume 127, Issue 21188, 10 August 1940, Page 11 (Supplement)

THE PASSING SHOW

the brush in Parliament over the appointment of the Coal Mines Council, a Wellington newspaper excelled itself with these headlines: HEAT IN HOUSE—COAL THE CAUSE It is not hard to guess where Colonel Lindbergh will not make for when next he is looking for somewhere to take sanctuary. The new game of arresting, Say Britain and Japan, Is quite a big improvement On “Catch nie if you can.” The campaign for the collection 'of waste is doing well. It already has to its credit several months of time wasted in trying to get going. * * ♦ * To keep a breadboard spotless, rub with a slice of lemon, then wash in cold water. Take a cold bath, though, and your breadboard will shine like a mirror. * * * * The normal price of charcoal in Australia is Is 4d a bag. Since motor vehicles began to wear producer gas plants following petrol rationing, charcoal has been sold as high as 5s 6d a bag. “It is well known that Hitler constantly consults the wicked spirits.”—Kingdom News, pamphlet of Jehovah’s Witnesses. We have heard poor Adolf called many nasty things, but this is the first time we have seen him called a witch. There seems to be a lot of pother about the efficiency of the Public Service. If that body of workers really wants to know whether it is efficient, all it has to do is ask the Man in the Street, and he will say, “Certainly. You are as efficient as it’s possible for a public service to be.” * * * * In Germany a man strolled up to a corner j?nd, pausing, tightened his trouser belt another notch. A Gestapo member demanded, sharply: “What are you doing?” “I was just having my beakfast,” was the reply. We can sympathise with the newspaper which became a little muddled over the cabled message about Guy Menzies piloting the Emperor Haile Selassie, and reproduced the last part as follows: “He was sent to watch Haile Selassie who gave him to his wife.” “I am chiefly worried about my wife in Italy,” said a wounded sailor from the Italian cruiser Bartolomeo Colleoni, which was sunk by H.M.A.S. Sydney, to an interviewer in Alexandria. “She is expecting a baby. If it is a boy I would rather see him dead than live to serve in the Italian Navy after my experience.”

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

(By “Free Lance.”)

The Portuguese Government has granted a company a monopoly to search for petrol in Timor. Yes, it’s Timor petrol was found. • • * m The throwing of confetti at weddings has been banned in England. However, the appearance of an existing wife can still throw a spanner into the works. • • • • Remove dog or cat hairs from the carpet by rubbing with a dampened stiff brush.—Household Hints. Another way is to remove dog or cat. * • * * Rationing of petrol in England is said to have caused the price of a used car worth about £250 to slump to about £lO. This will soon adjust itself, as the smaller petrol consumption will make cars less used, thus there will be fewer used cars and their price will jump up again. This is known as the vicar’s circle. .... How adaptable New .Zealanders are, even to petrol restrictions, can be seen from the following advertisements:— No need for a car. Our meat will fill you so full you’ll want to walk.—B. Fsteak and Co. Don’t worry about petrol. Our product smells better.—City Gasworks. Put your car safely in the shed.—Padd, Locke and Co. My system will enable you to laugh at petrol restrictions. Six months with me and you’ll push your car up any hill.— Samson, the Bodybuilder. Bike Pumps. Bike Pumps. New car given away with every pump sold.—B. A. Peddler. Don’t waste petrol by trying to clean that spot off your trousers. Buy a new suit from our wide range. Dubble, Brested and Co. Notice: Owing to the shortage of petrol we are compelled to make a small charge for filling cigarette lighters. Charge, Id for 100 fills. Amalgamated Cigarette Lighter Filling Proprietary. Ltd. At the request of the Government we are reluctantly obliged to request members not to use the closed garage and running car engine method. Subscriptions are now overdue (half of estate, senior members; lock of hair, juniors).— International Suicide Club. At the recent meeting of the executive it was decided that with so few cars on the road all the joy had gone out of hiking and the club must disband. Outstanding subscriptions must be paid.— Call of the Road Trampers’ Club, Inc. Rumours that I have gone out of business are false. I am still selling chocolates, cigarettes and matches—Phil Upp, the Busy Bowser.

Soldiers ! The ancient tribes of Brazil tlrank petrol before battle to give them courage. Our sparkling ale is the modern substitute.—Ale Itler !