WIT & HUMOUR

Waikato Times, Volume 125, Issue 20923, 30 September 1939, Page 16 (Supplement)

WIT & HUMOUR

MOTHER’S MISTAKE Into the crowded bus came a stout woman, dressed in many colours, who squeezed into the only vacant seat. Then a childish voice broke the silence. “ Mummy, it’s a lady!” “ Hush, dear,” said his mother; “ I know it is!” The small boy looked puzzled. “ But, mummy,” he shrilled, “ you just said to daddy, ‘ what ever’s this object coming in?’ ” RECLUSE A friend called upon a guest at a ] hotel, knocked and asked him to open I the door. “ Can’t, door’s locked!” the voice within announced. “ Well, unlock it!” the caller requested. “ Can’t; lost the key!” “ Great Scott, man! What will you do if there is a fire?” “ I won’t go!” ENDURING PATIENCE During the first evening of a visit to her daughter at Sea Point an elderly woman who had never seen the j sea before was found intently watching the Robben Island lighthouse. “ What infinite patience sailors have,” she observed, noticing that she was no longer alone. “ Why?” asked her daughter. “ Well,” she replied, “ the wind has blown that light out thirty-eight j times since I’ve been watching, and I each time they relighted it.” CAUSE AND EFFECT Tommy Jones came home from school with a black eye. “ What have you been up to?” his mother demanded. “ I’ve been fighting Johnny Briggs,” Tommy confessed. tM Well, take him this cake and make friends.” Tommy did so; but in the afternoon he came home with another black eye. “ Good gracious!” his mother exclaimed. “ What’s happened now?” “He did it again,” Tommy said sadly. “ And he wants more cake to-morrow.” WAITING POLICY The village fire brigade stood by helplessly watching the top storey of a building blazing merrily. When questioned by an onlooker about their inactivity, the captain replied blandly: “ Our hoses ain’t any too powerful, mister. We’ll ’ave a better chance when the fire gets to the second floor"