THE PASSING SHOW

Waikato Times, Volume 125, Issue 20923, 30 September 1939, Page 15 (Supplement)

THE PASSING SHOW

THE MINISTER of Public Works called for a “super effort” to enable the camp at Burnham to be completed by the end of the week. Give us 27 shillings a day, Mr Semple, and we’ll make a supernatural effort. • • » • With this leaflet method of warfare, how the Poles must wish they were Germans. • • • • Hermann, I see Benito iss vorried because I don’t make promise dot I vill not touch ze Balkans. Ach, Adolf, he should be more vorried if you do it make! On his way to the Napier recruiting office for his medical examination, a Maori volunteer expressed his patriotism forcibly and succinctly. “ Just let me get my warrant of fitness and I’ll have a pop at those bloomin’ Jerries!” • * « • * The Daventry announcer who gives us the early morning news bulletin is the right man for an overseas service. For all we can tell he could be speaking in anything from Hindustani to Eskimo. • * • • Is this Irish? An anonymous letter received by The Times (London) read: “British visitors to the Dublin Horse Show are warned that they may receive a very hostile reception owing to the brutal treatment of the Irish in England. So long as partition lasts, British are not wanted in Ireland.” The stamp on the envelope was post-marked: “Visit Dublin Horse Show, August 8-12.” * • • • The next important foreign statesman who visits Germany is to be presented with a pound of butter made out of coal. This latest triumph of the Nazi “substitute” drive sounds difficult enough, though it is matched by another feat of the German scientist, making whipped cream out of fish. Guns or butter, it’s all the same to the Nazis. But if it is true that the Poles have flooded their coal mines before leaving them, it may be quicker if the Nazi chemists make the butter from the whipped cream made from the fish caught in the mines that would have given the coal that would have given the butter, etc., etc.

COMMENT AND CRITICISM (By ‘‘Free Lance")

When they read that Dr. Freud Had departed to the veud, A lot of bad repressions Were really overjeud. But women with neuroses Missed his comforting hypnoses, And their hopes of getting worse Were depressed instead of of beud. Te Hero continues to make his owner, trainer, jockey and backers dance with fury. News from Australia after he had won a race there was that his tendency to stay at the post was due to a sore mouth. To overcome this a device was inserted which made Te Hero’s tongue hang out of the side of his mouth. Now, this must certainly be resented by the rest of the field at the barrier, and it's little wonder they galloped off and left Te Hero standing at the post in his last attempt in Sydney. It must also be upsetting to Te Hero, who has no intention of being rude, or of doing a Maori haka either. Put your tongue back in your cheek, Te Hero, and get on with the race. • • • • Dr. Stork and family are still chuckling over a joke they played recently in Hamilton. A birth notice started the trouble. Snapped up by relatives and friends, it resulted in the despatch to a prospective mother of exactly the same name of the usual bonnets, bootees and bilchers (correct me if I’m wrong) together with more or less intimate letters of congratulation. Some of these were received, to her mystification, by Mother No. 1. Brother of Mother No. 2, well-known air pilot, sent hasty message to mother of Mother No. 2, in far-off place, and took off to fetch her. On the way back he made a pancake landing, which brought him a certain amount of fame, though, according to others, a bad fright. However, mother of Mother No. 2 arrived safely, only to find she and the pilot had somewhat anticipated the happy event. But it occurred in due course, and no doubt by now the bonnets and the letters have been unerringly sorted out by the happy mothers and the mothers of the mothers—no, don’t let me start all that again.