Country Life Interests

Waikato Times, Volume 125, Issue 20911, 16 September 1939, Page 16 (Supplement)

Country Life Interests

K page devoted to the interests of the Country Women of the Waikato, and in particular to advancing and recording the activities of IJ those two great national organisations, the Women's Institutes and the v Women's Division of the Farmers' Union. K

SOMETHING TO SAY THE ART OF CONVERSATION To a vast number of women if there were no conversation, life would bo a cheerful and happy affair. But as it is, the art of conversation presents a nightmare of distress .. . What ? You've heard that women like nothing so much as to talk ? But that is different: chattering. gossiping with intimates, of course they enjoy that. ißut conversation is the talk you have—or don't have —with strangers, complete strangers, people of whom you fcnow nothing and who seem to have been born dumb. Is there, then, no secret way of overcoming that horror of stepping into the crowded room peopled by total strangers with (it seems to yo.ur fright-dazed eyes) blank, pink ovals instead of faces ? You’ve read that the secret of a woman’s charm is to be a good listener: heavens above, what an amount of charm you must have, as you struggle to think of something to say to the frightening woman to whom your hostess has just introduced you. Or no—there is a flaw in the argument. For she is not saying a word, so how can you be listening ? You are both dumb, tonguetied and, when you catch sight of your face in a mirror, you are looking as grim as she. All right, plunge. And if you cannot make a conversational plunge, then go in and paddle. Here are some of the conversational gambits which you will And useful. They are all based on the common traits —that admiration softens most hearts, that all people like to have their advice asked, their opinions taken; that they would rather give help than receive it. You are giving a dinner and one of your guests mistakes the time, arrives far too early: what does Ado ? You, Mrs A, at once hasten to ask his help. “I'm so-thankful to see you: you are just the man I need. Could you help me to carry this bridge table into that corner and just look over and see that everything is there ? I’d be so grateful . . Or it was a woman who came: “I couldn't be more pleased to see you: I’ve a feeling my dress isn’t fastened right . . .” You are sitting next to a complete stranger at lunch about whom you know nothing: what is the opening gambit ? Play on superstition: he will either condemn it or it will amuse him. “Are you superstitious ? I saw two black rooks flying eastwards as I came, and I’m told that that means a journey and money to come for the person on my right (left). Do you often travel and do you expect to soon ? If I hear you’ve left for China next week shall I have to think that the rooks did it?” Your husband has asked a business friend and his wife: you know nothing of either of them. Well, here’s a pretty how-do-you-do I Whatever can you talk about ? Ask (and remember to concentrate on the wife for quite a long time, not on the husband or she will think you a hussy)—ask about holidays, about her garden, about shopping facilities. Laugh at your own little weaknesses. Don’t, above all, tell stories of your own children; ask about hers and get her to tell them. Don’t cap her stories with ones about yours. Tell a story against yourself rather than one showing off your good points. Don’t run your husband down in even the slightest way. Give Praise to the President of the W.l. You meet the president of your local Women’s Institute or other important body: That’s easy. Give her praise. And don’t feel a hypocrite. You don’t become a president without some qualities. It may “only” be influence, but after all you have to have qualities to have influence. “I often wonder how you manage to do all you do and look so unflurried . . Here are two watertight plans to help your art of conversation in the future. As a hostess: write down the list of your guests before they come and pencil against them the things in which they are interested, so that these things can be mentioned in introductions. “Mrs Robinson is a wonderful gardener.” Or “bridge-player” or “golfer.” Write down clearly who is the elder or more important of your guests, so that you introduce the others to them, not they to less important people. Don’t quote ‘‘my husband says” more than three times in a party. Say what you think yourself. Don’t talk servants; it never brings out gay or pleasant memories. Talk of remedies if you must, but of health never: you do not know if the woman to whom you are speaking is trying to forget some illness which she fear*>. Politics ? They need not be avoided, but make a point of murmuring “There is something in what you say” rather than entering into argument. All insincere ? Not a bit of it. This is only the beginning of •what may be a series of sincere friendships. Do not rush other people's reserves by sudden bursts of intimacy or confluences. Let that come later. You can then become a sympathetic listener —-when there is something to listen to.