THE PASSING SHOW

Waikato Times, Volume 125, Issue 20911, 16 September 1939, Page 13 (Supplement)

THE PASSING SHOW

(By “Free Lance”)

A FARMER in the Eureka district, determined to leave nothing to chance, replied to every question on the form of application for petrol. He indicated that he was 91 miles from the nearest tram. No, Ermyntrude, A.R.P. does not stand for Anglo-Russian Pact. • • * • The Exhibition is to “carry on,” because of its value in times of worry. We could also refer to its worry in terms of value. Cheese, we read, is at a standstill on the London market. But wait till it has had another three months! • * • • Hitler was seriously upset at having to go to war, says Goering. Poland didn’t exactly jump for joy, either. • • « • “If we don’t win this war on the banks of the Rhine, we’ll have to win it on the banks of the St. Lawrence and the Mississippi,” declared a Canadian M.P. Well, let’s hope we don’t have to win it on the banks of the Waikato. * * • • Ireland cannot remain neutral, says Mr Bernard Shaw. For once G.B.S. is guilty of the obvious. Whoever heard of an Irishman keeping out of a scrap? • • • • A British priest is reported to have blessed pet dogs. We can sympathise with him, and would like to have heard his technique. • • • • Scientific experiment by the 8.8. C. shows that women radio listeners can hear less than men. Women, of course, are not really interested in listening. • V • • An engineer of the stranded steamer Port Bowen was recently the victim of an assault with a piece of lead pipe. His language is reported to have caused the vessel to move another 16 feet. The man who took a railway tarpaulin home to cover his haystack not only had to pay a fine but had his stack spoiled because the tarpaulin leaked. That will teach him to take a good one next time.

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

German gentleman require* conversational practice.—Advertisement. Lesson I: “ Heil, Chamberlain!” A Greek named Vassilies Tripanangostopoupos has been in the news. It must have been a terrible trial in his schooldays to write out his name a hundred times. “A spoon should be hit off the lert heel,” reads a golf professional’s advice to beginners. As one only slightly acquainted with the royal and ancient game I feel inclined to suggest that such a stroke probably originated at the 19th. • • • • Time brings its changes. In August, 1914, there was a young man in Hamilton who invested in a red, white and blue tie and wore it every day during the early months of the Great War. He is now in middle, life and the father of a growing family. He is to be seen in the street minus his car but plus a stout umbrella. When questioned about it his reply was laconic: “ The Chamberlain touch,” he said. • • • • The young man stretched himself at a Hamilton fireside the other night and deplored the scanty information about the war. “ The news service is terrible,” quoth he. “I only hope we get some decent pictures at the theatres.” “Well,” hinted the old-timer, “if you really want to know something about war—” • • • • A surprising number of cars underwent a rapid metamorphosis last week— from private to commercial. Beauty gave placa to utility, luxury to necessity, with the most marked willingness. Not that the transformation involved much difficulty— merely some quick work with the paint brush, and “ Sure-Fire Slug Killer” or some such legend adorned the shining body of ths family sedan. Although admittedly the owner of the home-made sports model did have a little trouble in making his “bus” look like a six-ton truck, others simply tossed a packet of raisins, a vacuum cleaner or some other “sample” into the rear seat and collected enough petrol to take them to every town in their “territory.” One enterprising owner is said to have attached his trailer to the car, filled it with rubbish and pretended he was a pig farmer going to dispose of a litter.