The Passing Show

Waikato Times, Volume 124, Issue 20734, 18 February 1939, Page 15 (Supplement)

The Passing Show

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

(By “Free Lance”)

ACCORDING to the Hamilton placement officer many youths haven’t the slightest idea what they want to be. On the average, however, we can guarantee most males want to be engine-drivers and firemen from 4 to 8, airmen and motor mechanics from 8 to 12, school-teachers in schools where corporal punishment is allowed from 12 to 16, models of Robert Taylor and Clark Gable from 17 to 20, and millionaires from 20 to the grave. Apparently the “S Plan” of the Irish Republicans stood for sky-high. As the French Foreign Minister probably told II Duce “Fair play’s Bonnet play and all that.” • • • • Taking our cue from the Irish Republicans, perhaps the simplest plan would be to BLOW UP Garden Place Hill. • • • • As little Ivan in faraway Moscow remarked: My daddy died in the purge to end all purges. • • • • “A workers’ paradise” is how the Hon. E. Dwyer-Gray, deputy-Premier of Tasmania, describes New Zealand. —“And paradise is wilderness enow.” •. • • • Golf is a popular pastime at the Auckland Mental Hospital, states a newspaper report. Heartening news, this, to all golfers still uncertified. • « • • Whether they have “Die Stem van suid Afrika” or “God Save” as the South African national anthem no doubt half the theatres will still be empty by the time they’ve finished playing it. • • • • THE REFUGEE PROBLEM. The big trek to Taranaki has started (writes our Mt. Egmont correspondent). Thousands of refugees from the Waikato and other areas, showing distressing signs of hunger and exhaustion, are crossing Mt. Messenger. The influx rivals the days of the Thames gold rush. N.B. This report arrived a day after it was that Taranaki hotel-keepers were not eliminating counter-lunches and “shouting.”

“After all we should be able to rise higher than potato** and fruit.”—Mr Savage. So long as we never descend to onions. • • • • Children should be encouraged io eat spinach, states a dietician. To give them strength to sit through a double feature movie, I suppose. • • o • The Cohens and the Kellys (from Palestine and Eire respectively) seem to hava been giving Mr Chamberlain a spot at bother. • • a a To celebrate the Centennial the angling scribe of the Waikato Times suggests a casting tournament. This summer, however, about the only things cast by local anglers have been epithets. That Australian business man who said the import regulations were a blessing in disguise must have been reading Dorothy Sayers, Edgar Wallace and Co. Importers no doubt agree, that the disguise is 60 good that it makes Lon Chaney, Boris Karloff and Warner Oland look like a bunch of small-town amateurs. • • • • “There are certain disagreeable jobs on a farm but I believe they can be made interesting.”—Hamilton placement officer. Oscar holds the same belief. He is forming a Society for Interesting Workers on Farms. When old Stror’b’ry is up to the plimsoll in mud and you have to dig her out a cocktail bar will be handy. You will be able to forget the mud in a spot of Maiden’s Prayer or maybe a Siamese Stingah. If the separator jams sharemilkers will be able to relieve their feelings at the dartsboard, while there will always be soma magazines and newspapers lying about. Dipping sheep need no longer be onerous. Interest will be sustained by a beauty ballet in next season’s surf suits. If a swing band is not available stumping can be enlivened with a portable gramophone. Never let it be said that cleaning out pig-sties is a disagreeable job—not when Sniff’s streamlined super verbena and violet scentsprays are supplied. As for the farmer working out income-tax, tkc Society has made arrangements for complete sets of jigsaw and crossword puzzles to be distributed.