The Passing Show

Waikato Times, Volume 122, Issue 20504, 21 May 1938, Page 15 (Supplement)

The Passing Show

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

(By "Free Lane.")

ELECTORS WERE probably greatly flattered to read those little "thanks” ads. inserted by the election candidates. One of the candididates announced that "as far as is humanly possible the electors’ wants will receive consideration.” No doubt he recognised that electors usually expect councillors of supernatural abilities. But the notices were much too orthodox. I should have liked to have read something on these lines:— PODDLEVILLE TOWN BOARD TO THE ELECTORS:—I desire to convey my whole-hearted contempt for those stupid and misguided people who failed to vote for me. To those who did, I wish to express my surprise and amazement. • * • • Now we know which of the tickets at the municipal election were return tickets. • * * * Headline: “Fencing Problems." Sure. Ask any politician now the general election is approaching. * • * • It is good news to know that Yehudi Menuhin is engaged. Perhaps she’ll make him brush his hair now. '•• • • Rental cars are said to be becoming popular in the Dominion. But nowhere near as popular as rental houses, I’ll wager. • * • • Headline: "Revolt in Brazil.” After the Spanish rumpus this second threat to the nut market is most disturbing. • • * • Fifty per cent of Hamilton electors voted. The other 50 per cent may be depended upon to direct a steady stream of criticism at the council during the next three years. * • • • A champion lady hockey player says there are "hockey brains." Probably true. But when we played shinty at school our motio was: "Look after your shins and your brains will look after themselves.” * • • • All this talk about the pronunciation of Eire. Mr Malcolm Macdonald was reported to have called it "airy” but others favour "ire.” Most Irishmen would probably regard "ire” as a slur on the national temperament, while if you say "air” (of a certain temperature) it would libel their politicians. So what have you?

"A breach of the right-hand rule is * serious matter," said the Chief Justice in Hamilton the other day. Nazis with armache find that out to their coat. • • • • Authority to raise £77,000 for Garden Place removal has been given the Hamilton Borough Council. They have already raised Cain. * • * • There are said to be 20.000.000 sacks of oysters on the Saddle Point bed south of the Bluff. That makes the oyster supplies safe for the next 325 years. Now, ladies and gentlemen, with your kind permission we will next turn our attention to the supplies of stout. Thank you. m * * • " We are not mugs enough to maintain back-country roads,” stated Mr Semple at Morrinsville. On the other hand, residents of back-country roads and taxpayers generally have to maintain all sorts of things—expensive social services, costly public works and—politicians. * * * * I was informed by the paper the other day that the mean temperature was 48.5 degrees. And if you had seen my chilblains you would have agreed it was one of the meanest temperatures of our acquaintance. * * * * One of my bosom friends has gone away for a brief holiday. It happened suddenly. With the arrival of the first real roaring winter fire he drew his chair up and pjcpared to enjoy a good book. In a while his wife asked: "What made you fall in love with me, Tom?” And, unthinkingly, he said: "Oh, you’re beginning to wonder, too.” * * * • Since the municipal elections "Free Lance" has heard several people disclose the factors guiding their choice. Here aresome:—(l) I voted for all those I thought didn’t have much chance; (2) 1 didn’t vote for because his daughters wear their skirts too short; (3 I crossed out the first dozen or so; it’s so much easier! (4) All those with nice, kind faces got my vote; (5) he gives everyone such a nice smile; (6) first I voted for all the churchgoers and then the teetotallers. Thus is the bulwark of democracy preserved!