The Passing Show

Waikato Times, Volume 122, Issue 20498, 14 May 1938, Page 13 (Supplement)

The Passing Show

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

(By “Free Lance.”)

MACHINE-GUN and artillery fire by batteries of 15-year-old boys was one of Signor Mussolini’s methods of entertaining Herr Hitler. I really thought II Duce was more enterprising. He should have organised platoons of armoured prams, their occupants with dummies at the present. * * * # Aunt Jennie asks me to pass it on that she has a good deal of sympathy for those Suet-eating Germans in Czechoslovakia. • * <* « A heading “ Beauty in Buildings” caught my eye. And I know one of the buildings where there are two beauties. * • • • Mr J. Roberts says it is a public duty to provide for the unfit. Does this include some politicians we could name? What the world really wants is an AngloItalo- Germanic- Franco- Sino-Japo-Russo-American agreement. ft * * • Mr Savage is quite right. There will never be another slump in this country. The new name is recession, please. • * ft * • One way to ensure sobriety among cardrivers would be to place offenders in charge of the water-waggon. ft ft * • If women are misunderstood you will admit that very few of them try to make themselves plain. • • ft • So the French “ New Deal” provides for an increase in taxation. French taxpayers, I understand, are not greatly impressed with the novelty of the idea. ♦ • • • A visitor has been commenting on our “deplorable destruction” of scenery. Doesn’t the man know improvements when he sees them? * • • * The proposed inauguration of women police in the Dominion will not be an innovation so far as some husbands are concerned. • • • • A decrease of a halfpenny in the price of petrol is announced. Owners of cigarettelighters are, I believe, planning a suitable celebration. ft ft * « Research scholars and students of world affairs have probably noted the important message cabled out last week that Shirley Temple celebrated her ninth birthday with a party. * • • • After all those feverish precautions to protect Herr Hitler in Rome it would be just like life for the Fuehrer to sliu on a banana skin in Berlin and break his neck. “ Prudence with progress” was the slogan of an Auckland mayoral candidate. Personally, I prefer progress with prudence, flavoured with a dash of pep, punch, pertinacity, perspicuity and precision. “I am satisfied the farmers will throw their hats into the air when this (the superannuation scheme) is the law of the land.”—Right Hon. M. J. Savage. They will, however, retain their shirts as long as possible. • • ft • I note with interest that a Napier ladv is going abroad with the object of arranging for Scandinavian domestics to come out to the Dominion. They should'have almost as much difficulty in understanding what is required of them as some New Zealand domestics we could mention.

It seems that Peking is in danger—of the Chinese getting it back. « « • • The Social Credit Government in Alberta has closed Government House. I always thought it was going to open a new era. ft « ft ft I shouldn’t mind being carried away on the flood of capital that is said to be returning to France. * ft * • Clerical work was described by an assessor at an industrial dispute last week as “monotonous repetition.” But the clerks have nothing on the taxpayers. * • • • Efforts are being made to popularise the “Big Apple” among dancers this winter. I’ve seen it done and, frankly, it gives me the pip. • • • • My small son had a day or two in the city—the school holidays being on—and reported that he had had a ride in a cramcar. I know the sort well. ft « * a In these days action may speak louder than words, but as my wife belongs to the old school she still prefers—well, you understand. ft • « * They say that Germany and Italy have parallel policies. If my old book on geometry is right, then their policies will never meet. • ft • • Synesthesia is a condition wherein one’s senses become confused in the brain. It will be almost an epidemic as soon as the election campaign gets going. * • ft • It may be impossible to arrest the flight of time, but, in this wet weather one can go into, well, say, a tea-room, and stop a few minutes. • • • • The Mayor of Dunedin has made a charge against the banks. I should like to let him know that they have made several charges against me. • • • • At the last meeting of the Hamilton Borough Council it was decided not to authorise bicycle racing on streets within the borough. Undoubtedly the contests should Jdg confined to motorists and pedestrians. ft * « « I understand that the Government is responsible for the improved conditions generally, so should like to report that during the week I have noticed a much improved demand, in the domestic market, for kindling. * • • • Whenever I see the heading “ Feeling in Germany,” I think of the pictures I have seen of Marshal Goering, and hope that he isn’t feeling hungry. It would be such a big feel. * • • • The Minister of Public Works, referring to a cleric who had visited the Dominion, said that the canon had “fired a stink bomb after enjoying our hospitality.” And it is not so long ago since the same Minister, objecting to the straight talk of a member of a deputation or something, offered to send him a book on courtesy. I wonder if the pages had been cut. * • • * Another world’s record went last weekend—the 25 yards dash. My mate and I went to the city, and late at night decided to have a pie. They were tough and my mate said to the man: “ I don’t think much of your pies.” “ Look ’ere, young feller,” replied the man, “ I was making pies before you were born.” “ Yes,” my friend retorted, “but why try to sell them now.” We broke the record.