The Passing Show.

Waikato Times, Volume 121, Issue 20266, 7 August 1937, Page 15 (Supplement)

The Passing Show.

(By “Free Lance.”)

THE EXCESS of deposits over withdrawals in the Post Office Savings Bank in the June quarter was £1,404,969. Now if I could only have saved my quarterly pound that would have made it £1,404,970. And so Gandhi has come out for prohibition in India. In that climate! That “All for Me” art union was a misnomer. I’ve put the whole family on their feet. I’ve sold the family car. If they keep on paying 5s 4d per lb. for whitebait in Wellington I will start a whitebait farm. • • • * It may be all very well for the Japanese militarists to want a corridor in North China, but where is it to lead to ? I should be obliged if anyone could forward me some urgent reasons that would take me down to Wellington next Saturday. It is to be hoped that the differences between the parties down at the Kermadecs were not political. They are going to dig between 43,000,000 and 60,000,000 tons of potatoes in Germany. That’s a challenge to the Ould Isle. One of these days the Springboks will play on a dry ground and on a fine day—probably when they get back. The oyster season has closed, but we still don’t know the guaranteed price and if and when exchange and sales tax will be reduced. We have had Waratahs and Springboks and they have been met by All Blacks. And now Kangaroos have invaded the country. Wonder when they’ll send us some footballers for a change? They are building 22 more concentration camps in Germany. The worst punishment is that the inmates have to listen to broadcast speeches by Herr Hitler and General Goering. * • • * Now the line to take, when next tears brim her lovely eyes, Is not to weaken but just remember that tears are merely a small percentage of phosphorus salts, a little sodium of chlorate and the rest simply water. Don’t weaken. Down south a judge ruled that if a motorist is dazzled by the lights of an approaching car his duty is to stop. If the other fellow is also dazzled I suppose they camp out. • • • • True, Mr Semple is supposed to have gained a stone in weight since he has been in Australia but on the other hand many transport operators have lost their loads altogether since Mr Semple has been a Minister. • « • • Headlines: TRADE WITH JAPAN AN UPWARD TREND. Reports from China seem to indicate that they are experiencing an upward trend there, too.

Comment and Criticism

The Japanese are certainly making it hot for the Chinese —Peiping hot, in fact.

Signor Mussolini recently took a brief holiday. I'm In favour of him having ten years off duty. • • • •

More and more wives in America are taking up chess. They probably enjoy putting the men in their places.

After some of that kicking in the Springboks’ matches the All Blacks will no doubt prefer a Brandy

I understand the dispute at Waihi over control of the mortuary is no longer a live issue.

In a Southern paper: “A few snort Bongs were then broadcast.” I suppose the singers were giving their opinion of the listeners for a change.

The other day a hardware merchant informed me that a girl he recently employed in his store broke £2O worth of china on the very first morning. I understand she has since gone back to domestic service.

Germany and Italy are anxious to prevent Communism in Spain and Japan wants o prevent it in China. Thank goodness that only New Zealanders prevent democracy m New Zealand.

From a contemporary: “The Lower Hutt Borough Council formally approved the motion striking the rats." I always considered traps or poison better methods myself. • * • •

The rules of some nudist colonies are very strict, lam told. For formal dinner partiei however, I understand a concession is made to male members allowing them to have a stud tattooed on the chest for evening wear.

It is all very well to talk about Britain undertaking the responsibility of preserving the peace of the world, but from a glance at the cables it seems not so much a case of preserving it as finding it.

We were having a quiet chat by the fireside, our respective wives being engaged in what they called a game of bridge but sounded like a meeting of a debating society. Mac said that a woman would endure a lot for her belief, and Willie replied that she would. “ When you consider what a woman with a No. 7 foot suffers In the belief that she can wear a No. 4 shoe, it’s wonderful.”

And so clerical work is not an industry. There would be mighty little industry without it. Ever heard this one? The typist had altered a word in the letter she had taken down and the boss wanted to know why. The poor girl stammered: “ I thought —” and the boss whipped in: “ I’ll do tha thinking in this business. You just taka down what I say.” She did, and the next letter read like this: “ Dear Mr Browne— Write it with an ‘e.’ Pure swank—his father was a gardener. With regard to your letter of whatever date it was. I can quote you tha following prices. Hi! Thompson! It’s that outsider Brown. How much shall we stick on? Twenty per cent? Make it 30? Righto. Thirty points a ton. Awaiting your esteemed order, I am, yours truly. That'a settled him.”