WIT AND HUMOUR

Waikato Times, Volume 121, Issue 20266, 7 August 1937, Page 16 (Supplement)

WIT AND HUMOUR

MOTHER KNEW. Visitor: My, what an innocent looking face little Janice ha-s! Janice’-s Mother: Oh, that child 1 you’ve been up to I HM-Mi “My daughter’s music has been a great expense!” "Indeed! Has -someone sued you?” DECEIVER. "What happened to your nice lodger, Mrs Murphy?” “Oh, I had to get rid of him. He told me he was a Bachelor of Arts from Cambridge, and I found out he had a wife and family In Nottinghamshire.” KIND THOUGHTS. Wife: Im afraid, Oliver, you don’t love me any more—at least, not so much as you used to. Husband: Why? Wife: Because you always let me get up to light the fire now. Husband: Nonsense, my dear! Your getting up to light the fire makes me love you all the more. OBVIOUS. Sherlock Holmes: Ah, Watson, I see you have on your winter underwear. Watson: Marvellous, Holmes, marvellous I How did you ever deduce that? Sherlock: Well, you’ve forgotten to put on your trousers l

GENEROUS. The young bride was extolling the virtues of her husband to a friend. “George is just the most generous man in the world,” she declared. ‘He gives me everything credit can buy.” CLEVER. Mike: Begora, Pat, I was too clever for that customer. He tried to pass & bad half-crown on me. Pat: And you gave It back to him? Mike: Yes, I mixed It up with the pennies in his change. GOOD DAY I The debt collector was Insistent. "Then when could I oall for the money?” hS demanded. “Would Thursday do ” asked the debtor. “Yes.” “Very well, then—call every Thursday.’ GOING TOO FAR. **l want to be excused,” said the worried-looking Juryman, addressing the Judge. “I owe a man some money I borrowed, and as he is leaving town to-day for some years I want to catch him before he gets on the train, and pay him the money.” “You are excused,” returned the Judge In Icy tones. “I don’t want anybody on the Jury who oan lie like that."