WIT AND HUMOUR
AN ORDEAL. He had saved the admiral from drowning. The great man was full of praise for his acllon. “And io-niorrow,” said ihe admlral, "I shall than}; you before the eyes of all ihe men." The sailor began in quake. “‘Slrewlh. guv—nor, don't do that!“ he pleaded. “They'll ’alf murder me." THERE THE \VOULD BE. _‘— . 1 Pat and Mike were walking along: an old road in Ireland, when them came to a glbbel. ”.\‘ow, Pat." sald‘ )llke, “1! that glbbet had its due” where would you be?“ ”Arrah,“ re—plied his friend, “I‘d be walking home by myself." \\'AITING TO HEAR. Johnny: NVhat are- 'Lhose Hound things in the wood, Daddy? Father: They are knot—holes. Johnny: But. if they are not holes what are they? PIGEONS. ;\ norlllm‘nm‘ was living shown the Sly‘lllls or London. The Tower and [he llousvs ui' l’ul'lianian left him cold.‘ 11. \\ns nOl, nnlil St. Paul‘s \\‘ns reach—l rd lhzii he dlsplnyml any interest. : “llnh gum!" he said in an awed‘ \‘(yii‘iu nl'lH' staring ni llm calhedrzil. "'l'” Wilson than have keeps a chain-l Non 101. u' pigeons," I 'l‘uu LIANHIII, | “ Jumvs.” said lhv \\il‘n in hm‘ hus—l [mm]. “ him lli))1|l|Ii1\(‘lll)'ll(‘\\'llfllfwl "\\'i'll, in)" ilr'zii‘." snill .lnmiw, ‘lu‘ ln'll .\uu lhu' ll'nlh~~——-" “ .\‘luli right “ll‘l'l‘. .lnnivs," shill sluul “li' .\Ull‘l‘l' ruin: In lnlli lhul “'21)“ zllmul il. l :lun'i \\‘nnl l-I linum." i ____. l 'l'ch .\l.\’l"l'l-'.li. 1 *_" i \ Em} \\vnl lnln in mmll («Imp lelil‘ ilhkl'll {Hr n :nvnnuwn'lh nl’ Ullfll‘sl‘. “linn'l m-'l Iwnn'm'lh.~." will lllwl \ll‘lllhl‘i‘llt'l'. l " \\i'll, >l\u\\ l|.~ {\\n pu‘n'urlh.‘ ‘ 'l'liu l\\n |wlm§\\u|‘lh \\.l.\' In'wilxi'ml‘ I’m' i|l\]‘|‘~'li‘l|l, \\iu-w‘npun Illv lull \\linvpmi «in: :i linnlxniil'. l‘lxl il in l\\n,l :rni ulumn hi~ pun“). :llni I‘ii'lull.‘ ll|l‘ Hm hm or ”iv nip-«.\.» >.liili -’ nuns} Hlv' limilwl' \\illl _nnl ix .\Ullll‘ lax.) "‘ Imm, " Im )nu think llml :1 mun hm .i v~|;l:l In "I"'” hi< \\i!’iv‘.~ li'lll'l'>~'." ‘\n. lu' I|:i~n‘l lln‘ righl. :iIIII [. .li-n'i mm hm“ ln- l'lllllll lmn' ihv A'Hlll" |H\\\|'Hli'lfl \ nIHh xii-nilim; .iimul his nv“ _iuhv; " lrll'JM'l in 24> Mons." \Hllll: laid}: ”\\ll}. mn‘l )nu nl'—‘ I'un‘il .« rung"
' INFORMATION. ‘ As a liner was approaching the i port of Athens, an old lady said to one o! the sailors:— “Can you tell me What that white stuff is on the mountains?”“Snow, madam," said the sailor. “Thai. is wiiai. I thought," said the old lady, “but one of the passengers has just said ii was Greece." - \VHAT WAS THE TIME? A man asked e Scots fellow—traveller for the, time as they were Journeying in a railway compartment from the north to London. The Scot looked up from his book and replied: “You only want to know the time to get into conversation with me, and it we get into conversation we shall become friendly, and when we gef to London you'll ask me to have a. drink, and we‘ll have a drink, and I‘ll ask you to have a drink. and we‘ll have another drink and then I- shall ‘ask you to lunch, and you will visit my house, where I have a beautiful daughter; and you will visit my =house again; and one day you‘ll come and ask me if you can marry my daughter—— rind why the blazes should I give my consent to a man who can‘t. afford to buy a watch?" M ASK A P'OIJCEMAN. A rlr‘rm‘man. his {are red from wind and rain, apprnm‘hrd a poliro—man. Ills ovm‘i‘nni Miller was turnr'il up, so iiial, [he pniii'rnmn did‘nol soc iim rirrirnl vollmx . “ Can you‘icll me the limo, please?" hr askle “‘Thry‘ll open in ion li'iii‘uulos,” said ihr- policeman. THE BLAME. "A mmnii ngn I “11: ohm}! about .iiii'k: now i rlnn'l w'nl‘r for him a hit.“ “ \‘rs. H is Sil‘illlf—‘L‘ llll\\' (-hungi‘niilo nu'n zil'ir.” \\‘ilii’l'il HAVING. .\iikn: l’ni, Muir's only (1110 lllin‘: Hmi \\ill A‘lli‘l‘ Innlni'in—lii‘il‘s \\'liisliy :imi quinim'. I‘;i| minions-IX): \\'iii‘l'u kin .\n zi‘l il .\liiu‘: 'i‘hi‘ \\liislxy :inil liliinini“? l'.:i: Nu HlJLll'izi. .\.\ AllVliV'l'l'lli'liL \ rilHli‘l‘ \\Js lulixiux >l‘\l‘l'(‘]}' in his sun, \\lm slmniwi ii .\li'nu}: (“\illi‘liilil“ iiguil in \\urlii i " ,\!l:l ivl im‘ li‘“ _Hm Hiis. iii} “‘01”: hp wum'liliiml, “ IIiHWI \\ui'L Ili‘H‘l‘ }l\i iiiiic‘d any Hum." 4 "i'I\;I«-li\. 11ml." iu‘pliml Hm .\Hllllj.’ [ILHL "’l'lmi’s ,ilhl ”li' |i'vil|iriv_ \Will‘ \wa l'm l'illill‘l‘ iu'i‘ll I\H .i .\liii'i3 ni' iiunxm‘.” ill-l \\'.\.<,\"l‘ \\fl\iiNliil, 'l'iw Smiiiis \\vi'n smiiriinu' um [luv hiilmm) ui' liil' >i'.i\ilir‘ iinlvl iiilil imlliiln‘i Iwi): iii-.H'in: \\iml Hln )niin: n‘uupii- \\i‘i'l' swing“ in ”ll' 2.ii'iivii ininn. \ii'\ .\‘miiii llli'iil'li In lii'l' iiiisimiiil. "i iiiini‘ Ili‘ is swim: in lumpnsv, and \\u niizhiu'l In lihll'ili illisi \\llisllvIn \\-li'll him.“ “\\ii)‘ sliuiliii l'.‘" :isiu‘il .\li' .\‘miiii. "Nuimvli \\hisiiwi lo \\ui'n 11w,”
‘ smw \\'UHK. ' Huhily \\ll~‘jll.\|. llUmv ell‘h‘x' his first My :II svlmn}. 1 “\\'vll. Huhhf,“ mkwi his, father. “\\lml (lid Hw} l(‘:ll‘|l _uuui‘" l “ Nu! mun-ll," I'vlrliwl Imhhy. “ I'Vl' ,u'ul in :41. again l,wnml'rn\\'.” ‘ \\'l'>l'|,|l Fl'l'l'. “HUHI n'm'luinh is dumb. I u.~qui 1101' H" >11“ Inn! rum] "l'llc ’l'ln‘m‘ .\lllslem'l's.‘ :lmi slw l'l‘l’lit‘ll Illut .\lu‘ didn'l lilw lumks ulmul inmn'ls." ")\'|m'v ram l :01 (ML hunk? J like books about insevts.”
n\\'xl~‘.u,<mlx l “ I'll haw yun Imnw Hml, 1 11011111.: II) LIHHInu,” MM HII' .\uung llllll'i‘lv “111-ml. :m' \\lm‘d 112 w Ihm'hl ilZ‘” (IHHHI [va .\‘vnlsmun. “ Fm“ 1110 \\.x)’ 3:"w 111-vll sjlt‘fllxill' | wahl lnlmlwll hvlungml In yr." I ’I'HI‘I HEAL I’HHIHJ-INL .-\n m‘nnmuisr. “unis In Lnuw ‘\\llr‘lhm' \\‘u mr-x' 51m» In thin]; m:u‘lly “\\'llr‘rn uul‘ mnnr‘y Amos In." ‘Frunkly \u‘ drvn'l; \\v- are hm Mus.“ ‘ wondering where it's coming from.
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Waikato Times, Volume 119, Issue 19899, 30 May 1936, Page 16 (Supplement)
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908WIT AND HUMOUR Waikato Times, Volume 119, Issue 19899, 30 May 1936, Page 16 (Supplement)
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