LITTLE LAUGHS.

Waikato Times, Volume 107, Issue 17976, 22 March 1930, Page 4 (Supplement)

LITTLE LAUGHS.

“Well,” said the master of the house impatiently, “did you tell cook that I wanted my breakfast immediately?” “I did,” replied his wife. “And what did she say?” “That we all have our disappointments.” a * * * “Well, how’s trade?” inquired an old merchant of a young man who had just been taken into partnership with his father. “Very good,” replied the young man; “I think dad’ll' soon be earning enough for me to retire.” * * * * At a small country theatre they were giving “ Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves,” and, as there, were only eight in the company, the entering of the robbers into the caves was done by the men passing out at one side o ft he stage and entering again at the other. Unfortunately one of the men had a pronounced limp. When he had entered four times a voice from the ■ gallery cried; “Stick it, floppy! Last) lap!’’ \ # * ❖ Orders are orders, and the parkkeeper was determined to carry out his instructions- He had rung the bell loudly, and was preparing to shut the gates when he noticed an individual, tattered and weary, reclining on

one of the seats. “ Now, then,” he commanded, ’urry up! I'm a-going to shut the gate.” “All right!" replied the recliner sleepily. “But don’t slam it!'

TESTING A RUMOUR:

. Have you heard about the man who went to Aberdeen and pretended to taint, just to see if they would give iiTiu air 2

Mrs Brown; “ I hear that your husband has bought a car:” Mrs Smythe: “No, he hasn’t got the car yet, but he‘s getting ready,, for it.” “Putting the garage up, I presume?” “Not yet, but he’s study a book on motor repairing, and he's bought a towing-rope and an ambulance outfit, and we have both been insured." f * t m “Does my practising make you nervous?” the man who was learning to play the cornet asked his neighbour. “It did when I first heard theY people about discussing it,” replied r his suffering friend. “ But now I’m * i getting so hardened that I don’t care | what happens to you-” j * V * « Two travellers began talking and became friendly. “ Have a cigar,” began one. “ Don’t think I’ll have one, thanks very much,” said the other. , “ Have a cigarette, then?" | “No, thank you!” 1 “ How about a chew?” the first , persisted in desperation. “ Don't, use tobacco at all, thank j you!” “ Well,” (ho first ejaculated in consternation. " what on earth do you think you’ve got a mouth for?” * * * Mother (as little son returns from first day at. school): “Well, dear, and how did you like school?” Tommy: “ Oh, ail right, but I don’t sec why they want me there; there are plenty of other kids.”

TOO BUSINESS-LIKE. The free-lance journalist who proposed to a girl by letter and enclosed a stamped and addressed envclooe for her reply 1