THE NEW UTOPIA

Waikato Times, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 3097, 21 May 1892, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE NEW UTOPIA

("By .Teromk K. Jerome |. I had spent an extremely interesting evening. I had dined with some very " advanced " friends at the National Socialist Club; We had an excellent dinner j the pheasant, Ftuffed with truffles, was a poem, and when I say that the *49 Chateau Lafitte was worth the price we had to pay for it, I do not see what more I can add to its favour. After dinner, and over the cigars (I must say they do not know how to stock good cigars at the National Socialist Club), we had a very in- | structive discussion about the coming equality of man and the nationalisation of capital. I was not able to take much part in the argument myself because, having been left, when a boy, in a position which rendered it necessary for me to earn my own living, I have nevei enjoyed the time and opportunity to study these sort of questions. But I listened very attentively while my friends explained how, for the thousands of centuries during which it had been in existence, and before they came the world had been going on all wrong, and how, in the course of the next few years or so, they meant to put it right. Equality of all mankind was their watchword—perfect equality in all things — equality in possessions, and equality in position and influence, and equality in duties, resulting in equality, in happiness and contentment. The world belonged to all alike, and must be equally divided. Each man's labour was the property not of himself, but of the State which fed and clothed him, and must be applied, not to his own aggrandisement, but to the enrichment of the race. Individual wealth—the social claim by which the few had enslaved the many, the bandit's pistol, by which a small gang ot robbers had thieved from the whole community the fruits of its labours—must be taken from the hands that too long had held it. Social distinctions—the barriers by which the rising tide of humanity had hitherto been fretted and restrained—must be for ever swept aside. The human race must press onward to ics destiny (whatever that might be), not as at present, a scattered horde, scrambling, each man for himself, over the broken ground of unequal birth and fortune —the soft sward where the feet of the pampered may run, the cruel stones where the feet of the cursed must bleed—but an ordered army, marching side by side over the level plain of equity and equality. The great bosom of our Mother Earth should nourish all her children, like and like ; none should be hungry, none should have too much. The strong man should not grasp more than the weak ; the clever should not scheme to seize more than the simple. The earth was man's, and the fulness thereof ; and among all mankind it should be portioned out in even shares. All men were equal by the law of nature and must be made equal by the laws of man. With inequality came misery, crime, sin, selfishness, dishonesty, arrogance hypocrisy, cowardice. In a world in which all men were equal, there* would exist no temptation to evil, and our natural nobility wjould assert itself. When all men were equal, the world would be heaven—freed from the degrading despotism of God. We raised our glasses and drank to Equality, sacred Equality, and then ordered the waiter to bring us green Chartreuse and more cigars. 1 went home very thoughtful. I did not go to sleep for a long while; I lay awake thinking over this vision of a new world that had been presented to me. How delightful would it be if only the scheme of my socialistic friends could be carried out—no more of this struggling and striving against each other, no more jealousy, no more disappointments, no more fear of poverty. The state would take charge of us from the hour we were born until we died, and provide for all our wants, from the cradle to the coffin, both inclusive, aud we need give no thought even to the matter —•no more hard work, (three hours' labour a day would be the limit, according to our calculations, that the State would require from each addult citizen, and nobody would be allowed to do more), no poor to pity, no rich to envy—no one to look down upon us, no one for us to look down upon (not quite so pleasant this latter reflection) —all our life ordered and arranged for us— nothing to think about except the glorious destiny (whatever that may be) of humanity ! The thought crept away to sport in chaos, and I slept. * * * * * * When I awoke, I found myself lying under a glass case, in a high cheerless room. There was a lable over my head ; I turned and read it. It ran as follows :— Man Aseeep. Period—l 9th Century. This man was found asleep in a house in London, after the great social revolution of 1899. From the account given by the landlady of the hnuse, it would appear that he had already, when discovered, been asleep for over tan yenrs (she having forgotten to call him). It was decided, for scientific purposes, not to awake him, but to just nee how long he would sleep on, and he was accordingly brought and deposited in the Museum of Curiosities on February 11th, 1900. 1 Visitors are requested not to squirt water through the air holes.

An intelligent did gentleitiatt who had been arranging some stuffed lizards in an adjoining case came over and took the cover off me. " What's the matter?" he aaked j " anything disturhed you 1 " " No," I said ; " I always wake up like this when I feel I've had enough sleep. What century is this ?" " This," he said, " is the 29th century. You have been asleep just one thousand years." " Ah, well, I feel all the better for it," I replied, getting down off the table. " There's nothing like having one's sleep out." " I take it you are going to do the usual thing," said the old gentleman to me, as I proceeded to put on my clothes, which had been lying beside me in the case. " You'll want me to walk round the city with you, and explain all the changes to you, while you ask questions and make silly remarks?" "Yes," I replied, "I suppose that's what I ought to do." "I suppose so," he muttered. '•Come, and let's get it over," and he led the way from tne room. As he wont down stairs I said, " Well, is it all right now ?" " Is what all right ?" I replied. "Why, the world," I answered. " A few friends of mine were arranging, before I went to bed, to take it to pieces and fix it up again properly. Have you got it all right by this time ? Is everybody equal now, and sin and sorrow and ;ill that sort of thing done away with ?" " Oh, yes," replied my guide ; "you'll find everything all right now. We've just got this earth about perfect now, I should soy. Nobody is allowed to do anything wrong or silly; and as for equality, tadpoles ain't in it with us." He talked in rather a vulgar manner, I thought; but I did not like to reprove him. We walked out into the city, It was very clean, and very quiet. The streets, which were designated by numbers, ran out from each other at right angles, and all presented exactly the same appearance. There were no horses or carriages about; all the traffic was conducted by electric cars. All the people that were about wore a quiet, grave expression, and were so much like each other as to give one the idea that they were all members of the same family. Every one was dressed, as was also my guide, in » pair of grey trousers, and a grey tunic, buttoning tight round the neck, and fastened round the waist by a belt. Each man was clean shaven, and each man had black hair. I said, " Are all these men twins? " "Twins! Good gracious, no," answered my guide. "Whatever made you fancy that ? " " Why, they all look so much alike," I replied ; " and they've all got black hair !" "Oh, that's the regulation colour for hair," explained my companion; " we've all got black hair. If a man's hair is not black naturally, he has to have it dyed black." "Why ?" " Why ? " retorted tho old gentleman, somewhat irritably- " Why, I thought you understood that all men were now equal- What would become of our equality if one man or woman was allowed to swaggor about with golden hair, while another had to put up with carrots ? Men have not only got to be equal in these happy days, but to look it as far as can be. By causing all men to be clean shaven, and all men and women to have black hair cut the same length, we obviate, to a certain extent, the errors of nature." I said, " Why black?" He said he did not know, but that was the colour which had been decided upon. " Who by ? " I asked. " By the Majority"," he replied, | raising his hat and lowering his j eyes, as if in prayer. | We walked further, a'id passed more men. I asked: "Are there no women in this city 1" " Women !" exclaimed my guide. " Of course th>;re are. We've passed hundreds of them." " I thought 1 knew a woman when I saw one," I observed ; " but I can't remember noticing any." " Why, there are two now," he said, drawing my attention to a couple of persons near to us, both dressed in the regulation grey trousers and tunic. " How do you know that they are women ?" I asked him. " Why, you see the metal numbers that everyone wears on their collars V' " Yes ; I was just thinking what a number of policemen you had, and wondering where the other people were." " Well, the even numbers are the women ; the odd numbers are the men." " How very simple," I remarked. " I suppose after a little practice you can tell one sex from another almost at a glance." " Oh, yes," he replied ; " if you want to." We walked on in silence for a while, and then I s£\id, " Why does everybody have a number ? " •'To distinguish him by," answered my companion. " Don't people have names, then ?" " No." " Why ?" "Oh, there was so much inequality in names. Some people were called Montmorency, and they looked down on the Smiths; and the Smythes did not like mixing

With the ttoneseS; So to save bother it was decided to abolish tuimeS altogether and to give everybody a numben" " Did not the Montmorencics and the Smythes object 1 *' " Yes, btifc the Smiths itnd the Joneses were in Tiie Majority." " And did not the ones and twos loak down upon the threes and fours, and so on 1" "At first, yes. But with the abolition of wealth numbers lost their value, and now No. 100 does not consider himself in any way superior to No. 1,000.000. (To be continued. I