MR CASTLETON'S LINES.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXVII, Issue 2986, 3 September 1891, Page 2

MR CASTLETON'S LINES.

To tiik i:i)iroii. Sib,—My ciiticism upon Mr G's. jinple of words has drawn forth counter criticisms ami conimonta from " Lotliair, ,, " Xi-mi-phon," and a Whatuwhata gentleman. From the similarity of the points raised by the first two, it is abundantly apparent that they are two small potatoes from the ono paddock. The other correspondent may also be described as a small potato, but of a dilferent variety, not quite so soft and waxy as thy other two. I will tako the letter of Iho WhiitawhaU sago first, unci afterwards mash the other two potatoes in the one pot without butter. Malevolence and bitterness is ascribed to me by thesapa, tut he has disregarded the truth for the sake of saying something severe. He cannot point tn one sentence in my letter that shows malevolence towards Mr Caslleton or that is a reflection on his private character as a man. The facts I stated in introducing him to your readers as the author of the lines uniiiu , review were well known to every resident of Wnikato, and although the saurian may havo been nothing more than some of the "beautiful imagery , 'of our punt's conception (see " Xenophon V letter), it was undoubtedly this incident, that first made Mr C. known to fame, not only in our own district, bwt throughout tho colony. When I stated he modestly sought a seat in Parliament, surely 1 showed no malevolence. Had I stilted lh.it he had been presumptuous in seeking to represent an important constituency like Waikato, it mU_'!il certainly have been more in accordance with public opinion, but I wrote as mildly as possible out of regard for Mr C's. feelings. Walpole once called Oliver Goldsmith an "inspired idiot. ,. This was a gross personality ; ami I should be very sorry indeed to say anything so severe of .Mr C. although en pass.mt, I may remark thatUoldainith, a.s a pout,would generally be preferred to Oastleton. The grandmotherly way in which Mr Shepherd .■sympathises with Mr C. is quite pathetic : " Uid'em s<iy'",i r.-ml l:i't -:;ie den ; never wind the ni'igivy mm : sin? again, my iiU.le drtir. iind i»r.ndmanmn "ill listen.'" [ c;ul<l forgiie Mr Sh'-phi-rd pverythinft 'ut thu-i inciting Mr C to " invoke his Miu-«>, and Sinn onen inor , ." S'lll, such ■ind <tt various are the tables of men that what might fatten "lie u- m!d poison another, [four ta-tes were all like Mr Sheph'-rdV, probably our rhuivhes woo'd all he Salvation Armv iiar.acks, aid our , n'nrtainmente of the >onir an I li-uva cli.iriict.cr. To '.urn now in 'Ins letters of "L-ithair' jri'l the iinaramaiaticd (ir,.(>k |ihilo<opher. "L ith-iir " ifim irks th-tt I was insulting to the author in statins thai, his lines conhiinpfl no -'pearls of thought :, The truth is not, always plea-ant, but if ''L'thair" is willing to risk " the curse of unrequited iiiil," viz., "ihi> bitterness of death's chill hand " (Cast.letoni in phrases), and tish the pea>ls out and stiing i hem, he can use them •is a necklace. L-lth.iir :>nd the <sreek try to t'lach inn trrammar, and a bnutiful mess tlk'.y make of it. A man like rhe Greek who wiitrs such ungrainniat'cal passages us " a sine ijua non rule " (\vlii>;h translated is

■':in indispensable condition rule"), and "the hands may Im tlm<fi of Esau'j, but the v..i':e is that of Jacob'*," is eminently capable nf passing an iipini'in nn a point ■'{ grammar, and although he talks ho learnedly of pronominal adjectives, etc., He priihably never heard (if such things liefiiru liu made enquiries, for thu purpose of trviiifr to tri|j inn up. A man who is ignorant of grammar is likely to have a loss correct idea of punctuation, and his ignorance being so dense on these subjects, he is not worth nrguiiig with, 1 will dismiss him then on those points and loply only to the Disraelian hern,

1"rom abnwr comes the m^i^sty That makes a .nan a kin B . Surli never couM have boon a curse

Until it was abused. "Lothair " states that the word " such " in the above lines is a pronominal adjective, referring to the noun " labour " understood. According to a rnlo of grammar, " king " being the noun immediately preceding tha pronominal adjective " such," is the word to which it applies, but the whole sentence being in such a complete state of fop, it in a case, as the showman anid, of " vichover you like, my little dears. ,. On thequestion of punctuation, "Lothair" is out of his depth, and knows much less of this than he docs of grammar. lam Retting into tha sere and yellow leaf, and "Lothair" in correct in his surmise that it is some time since I left college, but the ridiculous way in which he punctuates the two lines below would lead one to the belief that he has never been to school at all.

Our heroes, now. Ah ! who are they Monopolists and drones? (The profundity of the interjection "Ah !" in the above lines makes mo smile every time I see it). Now, " Lothair," even you must notico the absurdity in the punctuation in the lines printed above; but as yon seem to have a weakness for interrogation marks, shove a few more in by all means; there is not much sense to spoil in the lines, and the interrogation mark is not altogether an uncomely-looking sign, combining as it does Hogarth's line of beauty (the curve) with a dot at the bottom. Picking up the Greek once more: " Xonophon " is fearful lost Mr C. should he regarded as a poet in embryo ; but he may, I feel sure, save himself unnecessary anxiety on this point. The (Jreek shows that his store of general knowledge is as limited as his grammar is bad (his letter is a mass of literary errors from start to finish) by attributing Punch's advice to those about to marry— " Don't "—to Dickens in the Pickwick Papers ! 0 ! ye little fishes ! and this is ha who would wish the readers of his letter to infer he is an educated and a well-read man ! Tmly he is A SMALL POTATO 1

—too small even for seed ! Tho ir.ysti'ry attaching tn Jacob's voice anrl Esau's hands is t< o irmcli for me. Jicob's voice may. perhaps, have been as sweet as our poet's and Esau's hands of liio Know variety, but whut this has tn d> with the subject under discussion is not conceivable. "Lothair," m clo.-ing his letter, says he will pass over my rein , irks ro .Socialism, Henry George, etc. It was only by using the views held by Mr C. as a key that I (wild discover tn whom ha was referring when he informed his readers that " our matchless heroes true " are those who climb to high altitudes and look down ji) plains of woe; and, in order that my readers might not be under a disadvantage, I thought it advisable to place the key iu their hands. In conclusion, I may remark that it is bad enough to read Socialistic doctrines enunciated in good honest prose, but when wrapped up in sentimental gusli they are particularly nauseating. I must apologise. Mr EiiUr, for taking up so much of your space, but when I mash potatoes I like to do it thoroughly and leave no lumps.— Yours, etc., Liberal.