MELBOURNE ITEMS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXVII, Issue 2978, 15 August 1891, Page 4

MELBOURNE ITEMS.

[By TKi,Krii<>Nfs.]

Melhoursk, July 20. lUv by day the chancos of the opposition grow small by cliques and beautifully less. Mr Mnnro's latest find is a very sevore blow, not only to tlui Gillies party but to tin; particular pet of that party Mr Richard Speight. Ho has demonstated that the Railway Commissioners had been employing more men than they needed by forcing them to run the new linei without employing new hands. This they have proved easily able to do thus practically owning up to past extravarance. Ho has also found that tho Public Service Board have put on vast numbers of new people in excess of the actual requirements of the evil service aud the result is that confusion ami dismay rule in every branch of the great circumlocution office. He is practically well supplied with money, will not part with a shilling and to all demands instances past extravagance as a reason for present economy until the very name of the late Government stinks in the months of its own supporters. It is quite within the limits of possibility that Mr Dcakin will yet join the Munro Government,that is if it can keep itself afloat ir.itil the move would bo deccnt and if that be done the conservative side may wait a long while for an innings.

On Saturday last the Victorian Orchestra died a natural death and not in a highly dignified manner; for the subscribers who hail during the year troubled themselves very little about the bundles of transferable admissions they received for their money began to use them up frantically as the daya of possible ability were numbered and the last two or three concerts were thronged with people who all found fault with their entertainment and all, without exception, consider that Government ought to carry on the concerts until they had used them all. This of course is impossible and the subscribers who, by postponing their attendance mado many of tho last concerts fall flat, areas furious as the Committee and guarantors who say the brilliant things about each other. There is a storm in a teacup over the unlucky coterie of Tabbies male and female, who call themselves the Austral Salon. Some months ago they were silly enough to stigmatise the Australian natives as " boorish, unmannerly, and illiterate." This wa9 bad enough but one of the literary ladies alluded to them as " pigmies" and this wholly unjustifiable tauut put them on their mettle. As the Australian natives are principally relied upon for dances and to do them jnstico generally dance very well the .Salon now finds itself high and dry concerning its base ball. It is not easy to iisk " boorish, uumanuerly pigmies" to buy ball tickets, still less so to induce I hem to consent.

Upon one thing wo can congratulate ourselves and that is upon the genuine liberality with which all classes of people are preparing to help the Floods Relief fund which up to the prescnttime amounts to about ten thousaud pounds (£10,000). All sorts aud conditions of men, actors, artists, merchants, lawyers, members of Parliament and trading societies have contributed. Amongst the donations we noticc £100 from the Citizen's Life Assurance Co., and £10 10s, first instalment of subscription from the Company's stall. Although all that amount lias been subscribed a very great deal more is required and unfortunately the tide of benevolence is already slackening. Ay usual the Theatrical profession has come nobly to the front. Messrs Brough and Boucicault who gave the first performance in aid of the sufferers were able to sent £'210 2s, proceeds of an excellent programme at the Bijou Theatre. Mr Williamson, sublessee of the Princess Theatre, mado a collection there which realised £121 odd. Mr Palmer gives a concert where the local musical profession will do their level best, to gain a good sum. Sir Chas. Halle and his wife follow suit and several minor functions including a Cinderella ball are to be given with the same object, But the truth is that nothing short of fifty thousand pounds will give anything like adequate relief and at this time there seems to be no chance of getting £20,000 let alone the large sum. You need not be surprised if you hear that the flood has washed away the dividends of several Building Societies and it is whispered that it may burst up one or two of them entirely. For the poor folk who have lost all are in no position to perform their contracts. Take for instance the test cise of a workman with £M per week who hy dint of striving aud saving and scraping has managed in tho course of eight or ten yeara to accumulate a decent little home of furniture costing say £150 and has paid another £50 or £100 off the price of a £500 house. The latter wrecked and ruined by the flood is now a mere heap of Boddenod rubbish worthless for all purpose of residence. Tho former has gone altogether. It is plain that his first care will be his clothes and food for his family, his uext some sort of provisions for furniture aud it will be half a dozen years before he ia able to take up the burden of paying instalments for a new house. As to repairing and re erecting the old one he could not do it if he tried. The Building Societies will have tn undertake that work but as the fence-* and out houses are gone the paper and plaster sodilened and rotten, the weather boards anil roofs sprung,tho windows and doors forced out. of place and foundations sapped the cost of rebuiling will bs far more than the tenants forfeit. Consequently those who know the ground are looking about them gidly and shares are not in vast demand.

All Melbourne is chattering to day over the vagarios of a Mr West Erakino of whom uo oue ever heard before, who has been informing the Chicago interviewers that seven colonies of Australia owe a billion sterling of which one fourth has been devoted to unproductive objects. As the two hundred aud fifty thousand millions thus ant down by the gentleman to unproductive usea would give every man woman and child in all Australian about £"28,574 eaoh there is not a little wonder as to where tho money has gone. The truth is these random statements do a great deal of harm whim they are set going by ouraelves. A fortnight ago the Argus stated that wc had a deficit of £1,161,450 and the fact was at once cabled to England. Ever sinco then it has been eating its words with all aorta of sauce and grumbling in the finest style at all prople who believed them.

A day or two ago a housewife bought a leg of mutton and duly put it into the oven to bake which i 3 about the only thing it ever occurs to the average housewife to do. It had not reated there more than a very few minutes when the butcher name in hot haste and demanded the joint. Sho laughed at him. She had paid for it and would not be bothered, ile had brought another but she had declined to look at it. Then he offered her ten shillings'to boot but by that time she smelt a mouse and could not be induced to listen. He raised his price again but he had to go as she remarked that whai it was worth to him it was worth to her. He went irate, disconsolate and denunciatory and she at once decided to probe her prize thinking pro< bably that it was stuffed withlbank notes or had a few sovereigns concealed in it. Sure enough she presently found the skewer strike a metallic substance but it was only a two pound weight he had dexterously thrust into the joint to increase the weight, and had forgotten to removo it. He had cheated the house wife out of ninepence, but ho will not for many a long day forget what it cost him in fine, costs and lots of custom, and tho magistrate lectured him in so highly superior and truly moral manner that it ivas as good as a play to everyone but the unlucky knight of the cleaver.

An old joke was successfully tried on a Fitzroy resident lust week. Ho has a htnkiring for mining shares, and is ready " to put a bit in " whenever any frienda tell him of a good thing. A friend with some mystery showed him a good specimen nf coke, and the output vai unlimited, the profit enormon*, and

tho market certain. Ho agreed to take '250 shares, and his friend departed to describe the sell. One of tho hearers set off at ouce to have first laugh at the dupe, and explained the transaction. Tn his honor his statement was received with derision. "You're all dashed smart, no doubt," said tho buyer of the shares in coke, " but I'll seo the thing through. Why the blazes should not a coke mine ho aa good an investment as a ooal mine';" Aud from this he would not budge, but of course he had paid money over, and no harm was done. To-morrow the new Railway Amendment Bill will be brought iu. It will naturally cut the powers of the Commissioners down, and will assimilate their position very much to that of Mr Eddy in New South Wales. He nan do as he likes with the men under him, but he can do nothing with the men over him ; and Mr Munro sees no reason why he Bhould be bossed by the Chief Commissioner as Sir Henry Parkcs is not. More than that, he is determined to take the responsibility of saying : "Take it or go —and there will consequently be a battle royal.