GENTLEMAN'S TIPPLE.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXVI, Issue 2883, 6 January 1891, Page 4

GENTLEMAN'S TIPPLE.

A M I b.VIiiHT AI > V I'iN'l' IK K WITH A I'.l K'M-AK. Vol- do not often see :i room like V erbruggen s. .! spent the afternoon there the other day and yon could not perceive a single inch of the wills. There were book-shelves on every side : hook-shelves jutted oili. into the room itself : and upon many of the shelves the hooks were arranged two deep—and such books ! Xever in my life did I feel so feloniously inclined as upon the occasion of my visit to Yerbruggen. "If I were you,' J. said, " 1 should search my visitors when I bade them good bye. I le only laughed good naluredly : and then he calmly offered to lend mo any book X might take n fancy to. Of course I refused, because if .1 borrowed one of Verbruggen's books I should certainly never return it to him. There arc circumstances. you know, in which one cannot trust one's self : and to read one of Verbruggen's books without injuring the volume, one would have to wear a surplice and a new pair of white kid gloves. Japanese paper, type which does not mulct! one's eyes water, but does make one's mouth do so, margin, rough edges, tooled bindings, ito. I gloated over all these things, I feasted my eyes upon original etchings, and inserted engravings on China paper, till light failed us ; and then we sat on either side of the comfortable fire-place, and talked about the books till the clock struck six. I dine at luilfpast seven, and I arose to go ; but Vcrbruggen would not permit my departure without something to keep the cold out, and he gave me a glass of virgin sherry, which was particularly delicious. .But lie helped himself from another decanter.

I did not say anything, but some liow* or other resented it, and having finished my sherry, stretched out my hand towards that special decanter of his. He is a very old friend, so I could do so without oll'enee ; but, to my astonishment, lie calmly pushed it out of my reach. "A visitor I had, Bumper," remarked he, " oneo triod that spccial tipple of mine—lie had reason to repent it." I was puzzled : curiosity is my master passion. .L looked at my watch : I had got ten minutes to spare. " Give me the story, V.,' I said. He helped himself to another glass, drank it off and smacked his lips. " The fact is,'' said Yerbruggen, " the stuff you see in the decanter is laudanum, made from the very best Turkey opium." .Shades of Thomas ])e Quincey ! I stared at Yerbruggen in horror. " You needn't, worry yourself," Pumper," lie said, very calmly ; " poor Wilkie Collins hail to do it, and lie attained a good old age. I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. And now I'll tell von the story, and I'll cut it as short as possible. Laudanum, my friend, as you are probably aware, has a peculiarly nasty taste. This stufl of mine is strongly flavoured with Seville orange peel, and is sweetened : to the palate it much resembles curacao. It was a year and a half ago, I wos sitting smoking here, about an hour after midnight : this decanter was on the table in front of me. I had just received an early copy of tho suppressed works of certain Elizabethan poets. I read every book, sir, before I place it on my shelves," said Yerbruggen; ; ' and at that moment I was deeply interested in what I was about. Suddenly I heard the door of the room open. I looked up, and I saw a powerful ruili.au—a burglar evidently; a short crowbar was in one hand, aud with tho raised forelinger of the other he imposed silence on mo.

'■ Guv'nor," said the man to me in a hoarse whisper, "if von kick up a row, I'll brain yo." I am sixty-five, I had no intention whatever of kicking up a row. I knew perfectly well that I should have no ehanoo in the struggle with an armed burglar. I determined to grin and boar it.

" Won't you bo seated?"' I said to my nocturnal visitor, motioning him to the easy chair which you now adorn.

" Tli" man grinuod. " Cluv'nor," he waul, " I want's yer watch, and yer money, and yor plate and valyables. lint Inst, my pippin, I'll have a drink with ye, just to allow tliuio'ri no iIL-feoliny."" And then In- s>.i -I'd the decanter, poured liiui..'.H'uiil ;l glajj, aud swallowed it al a, draught. U.y uuiuttcd hiu lip..-, v.ipud hi... mulith with til" l.'.i.'.K. el' hu- hand. and thou ho mado a wrv lace. "If (hat's yer favourite poison, guv'nor, E don't think miK'li of it,'" ho .-aid. "And now v,v']| :/(, Ui has-:;.' Til tronbl"

v*■ r 'or yor wali-h." • Mv I'oioiid," I as I p!:u oil 11 it■ wnii'h 111 nmi Iho lalih'. " I'm' very fond of thai old wateh of mino. '"If you'll leave me an address I shall be glad to redeem it at more than its value." '• It don't seem up to much,'' replied the nnn. as ho stowed it away in his pocket: "but I'm always hand.some to them who I refits nn: li.ind; nine : laiL if you was to leave a live-pun note with 1 Hoggins, as I'i'oji'; the ( leal, mul < 'oinpasacs in -.filial, uhv vou u>in hev ii.

buck*. T can't say no fairer nor that, can 1, matey !"

" I'll make a note of tho address," I replied, "and i'mniuch obliged to you." I took down the address, and I made the process last as long as i could.

" And now for your money and ver jewellery," said the man, in the same hoarse whisper.

I apologised to my visitor. " I don't wear jewellery," I said ; "but you are welcome to my money." 1 handed him a sovereign and a penny. It was all f had about me ; for J li-ui been to till! Convivial Cannibals t hat afternoon, and some ingenious literary friends had eased me of all my loose silver at whist. The man" in the fur cap didn't beliovo me. " I'll have to search ye, guv'nor," he said, and he proceeded to do so. " I thort you wos a gentleman," he said, contemptuously, when llio process was over. " Guv'nor," he went on, suddenly,

"I'm feeling- powerful bad. I'll take another glass, if so be as you have no objection." What was Ido ? He had got

three-quarters of an ounce of the very best laudanam in him already ; that was probably almost enough to kill him, a second dose would render death a certainty. I did not want to bo tho man's murderor, so, protending to bo about to pour the liquor out, I dropped the decanter upon the

floor. '' If you try that on again, old man," said the robber, with an oath, "I'll make short work of you," and he glared at mo like a wild beast. Then he staggered to the door and listened intently. He regained his chair with difficulty. "I'm powerful bad guv'nor," he said, suddenly; " I've got a noise

like bees a-swnrmiug in my ears, my sight's gone queer, and my inners is as cold as any stone.

I could see by his contracted pupils that the opium had already begun to act. " Guv'nor," said the man ; and

then his head rolled on his shoulders and he began to snore heavily. " I rushed from tho room. I knocked up Dr. Sholto Mac Scorcher, who lives three doors off. I told

hiin of my visitor's ' accident.' He thrust a wooden gag with a hole in it, into tho burglar's mouth: then he pushed an elastic tube, a long, down his throat. By this time the man's face was nearly blue. He attached a stomach pump to the tube, and he pumped quarts of warm water in to the man and then he pumped it out. This process he repeated several times. " l'inch him all over," cried Dr. Mac Scorcher ; " pinch him as hard

as over you can. "By tliat time, Mary, my housemaid, liad appeared, aud we pinched tho unfortunate patient with all our might aud main, until we could piuch no longer. Then Mac Scorcher poured a jug of cold water on his head ; then he flapped him in the face with a wet towel as hard as he could ; then he ordered Mary to make a lot of hot coffee, and he pumped that into the unhappy man's stomach ; then he ran pins into him at frequent intervals. Binally, wo took the man under the arms, and so we dragged him along the empty streets to Bt. George's HospitalAt noon, I called to ascertain the state of that nocturnal caller on nie. They told me that ho was out of danger, and I saw him looking more dead than alive, in one of the hospital beds. " They toll me you saved my life, guv'nor,'" said the invalid ; " I say guv'nor," he added, with a sickly smile, " you ain't a-going to split 011 a pore bloke T I reassured him. " Thank ye kindly, guv'nor," he said ; " but if ever I tastes gentlemen's tipple again, blarni me blue 1" " That's his crow-bar,'' said \ erbruggen ; " I haven't seen liini since."—" St. James's Gazette."