HOW I GOT THE KEWEE AND WHAT IT DID.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXIV, Issue 2739, 1 February 1890, Page 6 (Supplement)

HOW I GOT THE KEWEE AND WHAT IT DID.

Nut long after settling on this frontier o eivilizasiiiin, wun at'toiiuin found m sitting on an old tec-box, varegated a such kommodities are with impossibl roprozciitashuns and Inly seleatial hcerc gliffix, koutemplatiug everything i joneral and nothing particular. But m rovory was broken in upon by what Did you over see a female of the huina speeches aged 200 or so ? Did you eve form an idea of whot a witch really mit bo like in the flesh ? Tak about Chinee pikturea ! Oh the futility of attemptin a deskription of the figger that stu before my waking vision! Not ben but twisted into a kombinashun ( lines and angles that wild have sen yuklid off at a tanjent to the ontologik; Jimseeum, a natif winnan of preehii torik age made her obeesause. By he side stud a diminutif tho a remarkabl intelligent-luking individual with a ckseedingly long noze for the size of th fase—a brite kleer i fassened intently o my tee-box dragons—a hirsute cheek — plump litel body kovered evidently wit long brown hare—and the whole sur. ported by a pare of short sturdy legs Hu but myself was ever blest by th vishun of sutch a kupel? Oh filosofj filoaoi'y there are meney things in Heve: and Erth of which yur wisdor hatb never dreemed ! The effekfc wa prodidgus and deklared itself in ai unkontrollibel lit of lafter. This wa immenseley inkreesed by the litel in dividual—bo it burd or divel—hidini its self-konshus and diminished hei between its legs, thereby revolving itsel into a very respektible downy hedgehog I approched, still laffing, and indikatiiij the keewee inquired, " How mutch fo: your grandfather?" The natif poyntec to the bush and noded, by which '. understud that her progeniter mite stil be living, and I then suppozed tha savages like doukies mite be immortel " Kap-I keewee—sol—utu—eh—harrymj —how mutch?" She held up fiv< koppery fingers, to my mind quit* konkluzif that five pennies were ment Out of the jenerozity of my hart ] bestod sixpeuso and proseeded to appro preeate the relik inimitebel. But the keewee smelt a rat—probably bekase its nostrils are at the extremity of its upper mandibel—and grouled at a puppy dog. The natif also, as to the manner born, dm her sirkel, sharpend her angels, and fased up square, and, as I niver was much of a mathematishion, and still less of a '' rangier," I gave her 4s Gd with kortly grace. Wnnce upon a time, and after nieny failures, I hunted down an unfortunate mole and kapturod it. Baring it homo in my hat I was konshus of having dene a deed seldom aknmplished by mankind, and the sense of my heroism was thereby magnifid in my eclated spirit. How I kalkulated on reveeling to the world of lite the monsteris of this tenant of simraeerian glume ! But I like the mole saw nun of them. Quite innosontly I let the blind (blind ? who ?) thing eskape in my bedrum, who at onco skutteld under a fixed eupbord, and for three mortal nites was I kondemed to here the incessant skratch, skratch, skratching- of this unneerid inhabitant of th 9 blakness of darkness, and my frenzy after moles was kured for ever. Not witoout misgivings did I pass a lup of rope round wun leg of the keewee, and like an Irishman tailing hia pig to market, kompelled it to march on in front. At the reer of my dwelling is a kort, bounded by a wall soven feet hi, if it is an inch, and whither I kousined my protege, tying the rope to the end of tho pump-handel. The pur thing blinkt and winkt, bekase, like the mole and the bat and the wiked sinner aud all such unfortunate katel it luves the darkness rather than the lite. I watched it for a long time burying its hed between its shoulders, like a very old old man, twisting itself about, and luking as if for wurms or iusekts; opening and kloaing its beek with a short likwid snep; growling and spitting at me like wun of the felide, aud elevating his bak at the same time like a bucking horse. As evening dru on I tuk up my posishun at a windo with a ful.vu of the kort and its prisoner, who was quietly nibbling at tho rope to set himself free. I sirkumvented him by twining thin wire round the rope. Then he tuk to athletiks- j His muscular lims, ful of marro and not air as in uther birds, enabled him to jump to grate hites, and but for the rope the sivt-H foot wall he could have skorned Then I understud how he managed to bild his nest which is offen sum feet from the ground, with usually only one egg in it, Feering I mite luse him, I imprisoned him in a hen kup for the nite, and during all the silent watches I herd him piping as it were " the sad visissitude of things " and bemoning the fate that had brought him to such unkumfurtabel quarters, Next morning I tuk him sum strings of meet, but he at wunoe snatched the silver spuuc out of my hands, hid it in the darkest korner of the kup, and defended his plunder literally with beek and kla. The keewee is a treacherus enemy and konseels Ills wepon by fethers, for where wun shud expekt to find a wing is lodged a kla. Having herd quite enuf of his mclankoly musik on the previus nite I marched him off to the foul-run, cnklozed as it is with wire-netting, and set him free. Never was liberty so misappropriated. On the folloing morning I was astonisht to behold an epidccr.ik of luuasy pervading my fonl-yard. Hens and chickens were vilcntly clashing their beds agenst the wire and skratching and spurring wun auutlier with mite and mane. But strangest wundcr of all, a ring of yung koks had helium mesmerized, and were pnyntiiig at the senter of their mizKrublu sirkel, to wit the korporate feened keewee. When the smiling maden placed the usual boyled egs on the brekfast table, I diskovered in each a well-defined and ornate litel apertnr, into which I perred with kurosity. What I saw is not yet on rukord, but I bekame painfully aware what a jakass I had been in purchasing a keewee and allowing it the run of my foul yard. Utumawa.