UNKNOWN

Waikato Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 2707, 16 November 1889, Page 6 (Supplement)

UNKNOWN

A TALE OF THE PARI-MUTUEL,

OR TOTALISATOR.

I (.'ami: linino from Kcrapton Park on Wednesday in very strange company. When the last race of the day was being run, I was acro.su the coursc on top of a coach drinking champagne wine, and tho desirability of putting an end to so very agreeable an occupation did not occur to mo in all its might until after the members' train had started. I was equally dilatory over catching tho first ordinary 'special;' then came the dusty trudge over the railway bridge to Sunbury station and the hard Beat of a third-clas3 'rattler.' We were not a scratch pack in that ' rattler ' by any means. Tho burning sun glazed in through the smudgy windows, emblazoning the incription on tho wall, 'To seat five,' and the .■*o,it itself gave the company's sign-writer tho lie in the teeth by perfectly accommodating seven. There were six on the opposite side, top, and one, a veterin, and adipose Hebrew, in seedy black suit and tall hat, stood agaiust the off-side door. Wo were all more or less moody, and when tho Semitic gentleman remarked, resignedly, that he hadn't backed a winner in the two days, not a soul took the slightest notice of him but myself, and it was only out of pity that I tried to look interested, and answered, very foolishly, 'Oh, haven't you?' Then there was a long pause, and only after he had stared out the carriage window for nearly three minutes did he quite with a tear in his voice, 'No, I ain't, indeed.' There was another period of silence and gloom, then ho looked at mo up and down, seemingly appraising me, aud summed up with, 'Ah, I vhas a racin' afore you vlias born.' Under those circumstances ono usually feigns to brighten up with pleased surprise, and exclaims ' Really ?' as though it quite surpassed comprehension that anyone could have gone racing at such a period, or, indeed, that there had been any racing to go to. So I kept on smiling incredulously (which becomes embarassing, if not positively irritating, after any length of time), and, had it not been for his mcrcifully giving the conversation another shove-up behind, as it were, I might have gone on beaming idiotically right the way to Waterloo. ' Yus,' he soliloquised, ' I vhas a racin afore vim vhas born, 'n more than that, I started nearly all these ready-money bookmakers—Dick Dunn 'u Charlie White, n Alf Saville *11 50 more of 'em.' 1 Yus. An' more than that, I vhas the very fust man to tako tho parry-mutuel on to Newmarket 'Katli, 'n the fust to work it.' 1 Indeed ?' 'Yus. That's some yoai's ago now. Did y' ever seo a parry-mutuel ?' ' 0 : i, yes, I've seen them at Longchamps, and many other French meetings.' "• Ah—but not over here :' ' Well, not in woi king order. There's ono, you know, in the I'olico Museum at Scotland Yard.' ' Yus, Yus, that was von o' mine—they pinched it at Epsom.' ' Did thoy r' ' Yus. But the vun I vhas going to tell ye about vas tho very fust'u ve took it ou to the Newmarket 'Eath, on tho day of the July Stakes. There vas mo 'n Judah Lazarus —d'ye know 'im? Keeps a fish shop in Fashion-street, —eh, ye don't ? Ah, I thought ye might ha' done—'n Ike Solomon, 'n Barney Hyams, 'n a young govisher feller named Gibbs, to vurlc out the odds. I 'sposo you knows tho priucerplps o' the machine ? All tho money as ve takes is divided in proportion amongst tho backers o' the vimier, less our little commission deducted, 'n the less money there is on a vinniu' 'orse the more there is to divide between its backers. Veil, ve goes on to the 'Eath, 'n it's the fust day o* the July Meetin'—behind the Ditch—'n the fu-t race o' tho day is a Nursery. Ve brings the machino close up against the rails, 'n young Gibbs does tho flowery, 'n explains the vurkin' of the thing to the punters. Ho vhas very good at the patter, 'n, after two or three explanations, ve opens tho lis/3 and starts bcttin'. There's men young Gibbs outside, a-doin' tho shoutin', 'n Judah, 'n Ike Soloman 'n Barney Hyams inside, a-takin' the money like vildfire. There vas seventeen runners in the race ; but they mostly backed two—a thing called Fisherman's Daughter and a youngster of Sir Joseph's called Mabel Grey. All the money vent nearly on these two, 'n ve'd took some money, mind ver. Je a t as they're flown at the post up comes vun o' tho Argyll girls—there vhas 'arf a dozen of 'em vent to nearly all the big meetin's. Up comes tho vim vhat they used to call Mawdy (I dessey lier name vas Emmer or Jermimer), 'n she pes, ' Ere, vhat's about tho odds about Roodee ? ' — a reg'lar outsider, not a shillin' for it. ' Roodee ? ' ses I ; ' veil, I dessay about a hundred to vun, my dear—nearly certain a hundred to vun. Vhat d'ye vant on it ?' ' A sovereign,' ses she, a-givin' me the counter at the same time. ' Right y'are,' ses I ; and jest at that minute tho flag drops, 'n they're orf. Judah Lazarus, vhat had got a pair o' field-glasses, jumps up 'nd has a look. ' Mo,' ses ho, 'Mo '— (that's me)—''ore's this bloomin' outsider a vinniu'in a winter'—'nd it was. "Paralyse mn stifF!' ses I; ''ere, .Judah, shove in (ifteen moro tickets for it, vo can't be out o' thi". Judah was very kvick, 'n in aocs fifteen moro tickets for Roodee. Wlien it's all over up comes my lady, all smiliu'. ''Ere y'ar, my dear, I says ; ' lucky for you it vhasn't backed for much, so you gels eight'n a 'arf to vun.' ' Eiglit'n a 'arf to vun !' ses she, ' vhy vhat d'ye mean —I vas the on'y vun as backed it. ' Oh, no, my dear,' ses I, ' there vhas fifteen others on it besides yer pretty little self, 'n you all gets yer eight'n a 'arf to vun.' ' That bo ' angod,' ses she, ' vhy. it hadn't been backed for a penny vhen I come up to you, 'n I'd no sooner backed it when the flag fell : 'ow on earth d'yo mako out there vhas fifteen others.' • i only know there vhas,' I ses, ' they come directly after you, jest as tho flag dropped. ' It's all a bloomin' swindle,' ses she. 'n jest at that minuto alonir comes old Admiral Rous. She knowed him. Blest if she don't get a crowd round, and put the whole thing before tho bloomin' old Admiral. Wll, ye kuow vhat a hot 'nil he vas. After he'd heard her story ho comes up to me, 'nd ho ses, ' Vhat. ha' vo got to say about this?'' ' All I can say. my lord,' ses I, 'is as tho young lady's very unfortunate, for just as she'd put the on'y sovereign on the horse up comos fifteen gents, all vun ou top of tlio other, 'nd they plunges on the ' orge —yell, they backs it to that extent as it's on'y eight an' a 'arf to vun—'nd 'ore's the young lady's money, nine pun' ten, ' Take it,' ses tho Admiral, a speakin, to Mawdy. She took it. 'Now thou,' ses the Admiral, 1 fetch mo policeman.' Sure enough they fetched 'em, 'n there they stood in a row. Veil, I began to think they was queerin' tho pitch, so I ses, ' Vi tli all respect to tho younsj lady : u yer lordship, vhat's this for,' I ses. seeing as ve've paid tlio young: ladv her bets'. . 'Oh, yes, that's all risrht.'soi tho old man, 'but vhat me'n the pleecemen'3 eroin' to do is to stop hero an' see tlio other fiftee&i paid !'' ' 'N'swclp me never if they didn't stop t.horo too, and the finish of it vhas they set about me, 'n .ludah, 'n Ike, 'n Barney, 'n yemng Gibbs, 'n they smashed the bloomin' parrymutuel, 'n scrambled the quids, 'n ve vas — — lucky to get avay to tho' woods at Dullingham's 'n stop there till it was dark.'

'Lord love yor,' he exclaimed at the finish of his narration, ' vhy I was a-racin' aforo you vas born ?"—Loudon Sporting Times.