MAX O'RELL ON AMERICA.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXII, Issue 2602, 16 March 1889, Page 2 (Supplement)

MAX O'RELL ON AMERICA.

A Pai:is correspondent writes that M. j Max O'Rell's new work, "Jonathan et . son Continent," has been published by M. Calmaun LiSvy, and gives some account of it from an early copy. WEAKNESS FUR TITLES. | The book opens with the following somewhat startling proposition:—"The population of America is about sixty millions, mostly colonels." Later on this bold statement is thus justified : Every American, with the least selfrespect, is colonel or judge. Few escape it, as Mark Twain once remarked of the decoration of the Legion of Honour. We are quits, Mark. America has a hundred times as many colonels as we have knights of the Legion of Honour. When you are presented to a gentleman in au American drawing room, and you have unfortunately not caught his name, there is no need to try and repair the evil; call him "colonel," nine times out of ten it is safe ; if luck should be against you call him " judge," and you are pretty sure to be right. If, however, pursued by the fates, you should discover that your interlocutor is neither colonel nor judge, yon have yet another resource— call him "professor," and you are out of your difficulty ; an Americau always professes something—au art, a religion, a science—and you are risking nothing. I met a few American colonels who had recently been promoted millers. They were so proud of their new title that they insisted on being addressed thus. THE AMERICAN OIRL. Of the character on the "American girl " the following is a specimen : — The American girl likes men's society for several reasons. First, because, she is well educated and able to talk on almost all topics. She can talk knickknacks and pretty nonsense ; but if she knows how to describe the "cunningest bonnet" lately invented in Paris, she can tell you all about Octave Feuillet's latest novel, or even Herbert Spencer's latest work. She likes men's society because it increases her chance of making a good match. No matter how much of a butterfly she may be, she never loses sight of the future. She does not say, as she sits musing on marriage, " What kind of man shall I suit?" The socicty of men has all the less danger for her that her virtue rests on a firm basis of calculation. She will not embark in the romance until she sees her way to profit —and profits thereby. Fortune, or a title, that is her aim. She keeps it in view, even in the most touching moments. Between two kisses she will perhaps ask her lover : "Are you rich?" It is the pinch of rhubarb between two layers of jam. The constant aspiration of these young Republicans is to bo one day countess, or duchess. The number of European coats-of-arms which have been taken out of pawn, or re-gilt, with American dollars is enormous. POLITICS. On American politics the author writes : — In America the pursuit of politics is a liberal profession—very liberal for those who take it up, Iu Ameiica, as in England, thero are two great political parties ; instead of being called Conservatives and libetals, they are called Republicans and Democrats. The difference which exists between these parties is this: One is in power, and tries to stay in ; tho other is out, and tries to get in. All that is done by tho one is condemned in advance by the other, which ever the other may be. It is patriotism. Good society keeps prudently aloof from politics aud politicians. When a servant announces a politician, his master whispers in his ear: "John, lock up the plate, and take care there is nothing lying about." John, faithful to orders, stands sentinel in the hall, aud, while he is showing out the politician, keeps an eye on the umbrellas and overcoats. For that matter, the American democracy is no exceptiou to the rule. To become a chemist, you must study chemistry ; to become a lawyer, you must study law ; but, in a democracy, to be a politician, you nned only study your interests. Enlightened, educated, well-bred Americans have no desire to be confounded with the heroes of the Stump, and stand back ; the rich financiers and merchants aro too busy to take up polities ; the senators and congressmen are more or less tho cho-en of the common people ; and good socicty says, " No, thank you, I prefer to stay at home." Thus it is that .t.he ground remains clear for tho noisy mediocrities, and that a gentleman has only to mix himself up iu politics to become a <Uclassi. He must reach the White House to inspire a little respect. The American geutleman has not the least amhition to see his fair name dragged in the mud; to hear himself culled "thief," or nicknamed "Honest John," "Jolly Roger," or what not. He takes a juke as well as another ; but if you were to call him "Senator" or " Congressman," he would have you up for defamation of character. THE TYi'ICAL AMERICAS'. M. Max O'Rell thus sketches what he regards as tho typical American: — Nothing is ordinary in America. The ordinary American himself is extraordinarily ordinary. He takes liberties with his fellow-creatures, and with the English grammar. Ha murders your ears, and the mother-tongue of Shakcspero. He chews, hawks and spits; but he has a. sort of good-humoured brag and liveliness about him which iuvites further acquaintance. His fingers, cravat and shirt - front sparkle with diamonds. In conversation he attajks all subjects imaginable with complete assurance. Ho talks tall, and through the nose. Ho does not raise his voice much. He buzzes rather than speaks, at a certain distance you think you hoar tho droning of bagpipes. Meeting you in a railway carriage, he will ask you point blauk where you aro going, what you aro doing, and whero you come from. By degrees ho grows boiler, and if tho fancy takes him, he will touch the cloth of your coat and ask you, " What did you give for that ?" He has not the least intention of being disagreeable. This is not an act of rudeness, but one of fellowship. He, on his part, will give you all tho information you care to hav) about himself. He takes it for granted th;it you are as inquisitive as he is, and ho is ready to satisfy your curiosity. Ho is obliging. This mau, whom you began by taking for some ignorant babbler, presently gives ' to his conversation a turn that astonishes you. Ho speaks to you of Franco in a way which shows you that he is conversant with all that is going on here. The sayings and doings of General Boulanger are familiar to him. He knows tho uames of the ciiief members of tho Ministry. He is interested iu M. Pasteur's researches ; he has read a review of M. Kenan's last book and of M. Sardou's latest play. He has judicious remarks to make upon literature. He knows his Shakspere as not one Frenchman of his class knows Corneillo, Racine, Moliero, or Victor Hugo. You discover that he is well road, this man who says " I come " for "I came," "You was," "You didn't ought," " I don't know as I do," &c. He can give you information about his country as useful as it is exact. . . .

. This same American talks theology. He discusses the Bible. He reads the writings of Colonel Ingersoll, refuting that gentleman's ideas or accepting his conclusions. In a word, you thought you were iu the company of an ignorant bore t f a bagman, aud you have had one or two hours' talk with au intelligent and interesting man. Jonathan's domestics. Of American servants M. O'Rell seems to have had uuploasant experiences. He says: — Jonathan's domestics all appear to me to be reduced duchesses and noblemen in livery. When you speak to a man-ser-vant, before replying he scans you from head to foot, and seems to say : " Who may you be ? Be careful how you talk to me ! We are a free nation : all equals here, and I am as good as you, sir." ; And you feel inclined to say to him : " I cougriitulato you, young mau, upon

living in a froo oouutry ; but since wo aro all equals here, and I am civil to you, why on earth cannot you be civil to ino ?" The fellow is lacking in logic. The manner of the maid-servant in different. Sho wears a look of contempt and profound disgust. She seems to say with a sigh, " How can men bo such brutes as to allow women to work ? What despicable creatures they are, to be sure!" Sho moves about the room frowning, and as she goes out darts at you a look full of vengeance. It ia especially in the hotels of country towns that y»u observe the traits above-mentioned. " I take care never to part on bad terms with my servants when they leave me." This was said to me one day by a clever Boston lady, who, to my thinking, lacks sufficient admiration for the democratic institutions of America. I guessed that she intended a covert satire on the greatest Republic in the world. " Why ?" I demanded. " Beeause, when one of those girls leaves me, it is quite within the range of possibility that sho will marry some Western ranchman ; and one day, when her husband becomes a Senator, she will be useful to me at Washington." smart Tinxas. The book abounds in smart things, such as the following What will they not invent in Chicago? That whic'.i looks like a joke to-day may be a reality next week ; and I shall not he surprised next time I go to Chicago to find that the talking power of women has keen utilised as a motor for sewing machines by connecting the chin with the wheel. The wives of men with middle-class incomes imitate the luxury of the millionaire's wife. I expected to find it ao ; in a democratic country the frogs all try to swell into oxeu. They puff themselves out until they burst ; or, rather, until their husbands burst. In France, always, and in Knglaud when he will let her, a wife keeps an eye on tier husband's interests, In America she often lays hands on his capital. In England a man who does nothing goes by the name of " gentleman" ; in Chicago he goes by the name of " loafer." Jonathan is but John Bull expanded— John Bull with plenty of elbow room, aud nothing astonishes him, nothing stops him. In America you must be polite to everyone, or you would constantly be running the risk of treating with disrespect a future President.