"ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE."

Waikato Times, Volume XXXII, Issue 2572, 5 January 1889, Page 1 (Supplement)

"ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE."

A Fkexuii larly who had learned "English as she is spoke " in a French school— where she was accouuteel wonderfully proficient in our language—married an Knglishman and settled in England. Drought face to facj with the practical requirements of every-day life, her English proved less comprehensive and accurate than might have been wished, and it was evident that her vocabulary had hecn painfully collected from a dictionary rather than from living speech. On one occasion she wished to direct a servant to kill a chicken, and after plucking it, to briny her the feathers. The form which her directions took was, " Die me that beast, and bring me his vestment." Perplexing as the servant must have found this order, his astonishment can hardly have been equal to that of a carpenter, to whom was addressed a still more amusing blunder by this lady. She had an interview with him Willi reference to some alterations she thought of having made in her dwelling, but his estimate was so much that she determined notto have the work done. luashorftime, however, she found herself so incommoded by tin; state of the house that she decideil it would li'j necessary to have the alterations made, even at the figure named by carpenter. She accordingly sent for him, and once more carefully stated what she uishedto he done, to hersurprise the man promptly named a piicu forthe work which u':is considerably in advance of his previous estimate, and his feelings may be iminedw'ien, in her consternation, her peculiar English betrayed her into saying, " Wliysir, you arc dearer to me than whim wcwiii'f first engaged !''