Nobelist.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXI, Issue 2525, 15 September 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

Nobelist.

Major Dunwoody's Leg ASD THE GREAT POTTAWATOMIE CLAIM. As Amebicas Story. BY MAX ADEL ER. CHAPTER 111.

About a week later Colonel Dabney reported, with a favourable recommendation to the House from the committee on Public Property, "An Act restoring a certain amputated limb in the Medical Museum to Major Henry G. Dunwoody." The Act specified the leg contained in Exhibit 1307, Case 25, as the property to be restored. When the Bill came up for discussion, General Belcher moved to lay it upon the table. Defeated. Then he moved to amend it with provision that the hone of the leg should bp, withdrawn and retained in the Museum. Rejected. Then he offered a resolution referring the whole matter to a Committee of Inquiry, which should be directed to sit for two years and to take testimony as to what had been the practice of Governments in the matter of surrendering legs blown off in the battle of Sedan, including evidence respecting the custom in Persia, Greece, Egypt, Rome, Carthage, Palestine, and modern Europe. After a spirited debate the resolution was lost. But the General was not discouraged. He presented another resolution that a special Committee be directed to inquire whether the person mentioned in this Bill was the same Major Dunwoody who in a fit of alcoholic frenzy in Clarion County, Pennsylvania, in 18GG, treed his aged grandfather one rainy night and compelled that venerable and rheumatic person to roost upon a lofty branch until morning. Voted down : Yeas 301. Nays 1 (General Belcher).

The Bill finally passed to a third reading and was adopted. When it had received thi; approval of the Senate and the President, Major Dunwoody drove around to the Museum in high glee with Pandora. He carried in his pocket an empty pillosv-case in which he proposed to take home with him the long-lost fragment of himself. When he found the janitor and presented his credentials, that official was exceedingly polite and at once led the way to the place where the treasure was kept.

While he was unlocking the case, Pandora could hardly repress her feelings of joy. Leaning upon her lover's arm, ami watching the janitor, she exclaimed :—

'' Isn't it elegant, dear ! I can hardly realise that we are really going to get it! Mother will be so glad when George Washington gets his other leg on."

" I wish I had my other one on," said the Major, pleasantly,

"So do I! It's too bad ! But you can stand it up on the table and look at it now as much as you want to, can't you, darling?" The janitor lifted down the huge jar containing the limb and took ifc out of tho spirits.

•' I feel," said the Major, as he unfolded his pillow-case, " as if I

was in cemetery disinterring one of my near relations." "So beautiful! Isn't it?" said Pandora. The Major suddenly scrutinised the leg closely : " Why, how—how's this ? I don't exactly understand—Let's see, janitor, this Exhibit 1307? Yes! Case 25 ? Yes, Case 2 f>, so it is ! Why, thunder and Mars ! (Excuse my agitation, Pandora), there must be something wrong about this !" "Wrong, Henry? How? " Guess not, sir," said the janitor, " This is what the bill calls for." "But it can't be, you know. I lost my left leg, and this one you had in the jar here is a right leg. I couldn't have had two right legs, Pandora, of course ?" " I do not know, dear. Some persons have peculiarities of formation which—" " Oh, well, now, be reasonable ! I am absolutely certain that my leg was a left leg in every particular. You see, Pandora, this is a matter about which I may fairly be considered an authority." "Yes, Henry, but—-but maybe being in the alcohol so long may have changed it." "Impossible? Quite impossible, Pandora. The annals of medical science, from Esculapius down, contain no record of such a thing. The leg is not mine." " But you might as well take it dearest, mightn't you, because my George Washington ought to be finished as quickly as possible?" " You don't want to put two right legs on him, too, do you 1" " I don't know, Henry, I might. People, won't look at his toes, and if they did they would regard the arrangement as one of the eccentricities of genius, perhaps." " Let us look about," said the Major. " Perhaps my leg is in one of these other cases. Why here it is ! Sure enough ! In Case 1236, Exhibit 11. That is mine. You'll let me have it, Mr Janitor, of course ?" " Can't do it, sir; I have to follow the Act of Congress carefully. I daren't go outside of it." "Well, this is too bad?" exclaimed the Major. " You positively won't give it to me?" " No, sir; I won't." " Well then, Pandora, there is nothing to do but to wait. I'll get Colonel Dabney to put another bill through at once. Let me get the numbers: Exhibit 11, Case 1230." Then taking Pandora by the arm, the Major hobbled to his carriage and drove straight to the Capitol. About three weeks later another Bill passed the House without opposition, General Belcher being absent in New York upon a Committee of Inquiry. While the measure was pending in the Senate Archilles Smith, one morning, at an early hour, entered a rear door of the Museum with a key which he had obtained by bribing the charwomen, and proceeding to Case 1236 he removed the leg from the jar No. II and put it in another jar in another case, replacing it with the leg that had been in the latter jar. He went ;lown stairs chuckling : '• You mutilated outcast, you," he said, addressing the Major, in imagination : " we'll see who'll beat at p. , ' this game!" When the Act had been signed by the President, the Major drove with Pandora to the Museum a second time. Upon reaching Case 123G he was for a moment stricken dumb with amazement. Presently he said— " Why, Pandora, my dear, do you see? It's the leg of a coloured man !" "Ye—e—es, it seems to be, Henry. But perhaps mortification or something has set in !" "It is very mysterious ! I can't account for it." " One of your legs was not coloured, was it, my love?" " Oh no, of course not!" " Perhaps the janitor here has tarred it over, to preserve it better 1" " No, ma'am ; that's not allowed in this institution." "You'll take it anyhow; won't you, Henry ?" " Oh, my dear, be reasonable! Take the leg of a negro for mine !" " Well but, Henry, I can paint it white in my picture." " Yes ; but, Pandora ! you know we won't care to have particles ef fractured Africans scattered about our house. We can have no cherished memories associated with a leg like this." " I suppose not; but it seems rather hard that my Washington should have to stand upon that one leg at least a month longer." "He won't mind it. He was heroic. He would have stood upon a solitary leg for centuries rather than have robbed another man of his members."

Pandora sighed deeply and made up her mind to try to be resigned ; and so they went down stairs and drove away to state the case to Colonel Dabney.

The Colonel after hearing the story distinctly affirmed the opinion that there had been foul play. The Major jumped at the suggestion and told him of General Belcher and Achilles Smith, and their designs respecting Pandora.

" Nover mind! I will defeat their plans," said the Colonel. " You shall have the leg next time, if it is still in existence, no matter who meddles with it."

The next Act reported by Colonel Dabney provided that Major Henry G. Dun woody should have autho-

rity to take possession of his leg wherever it could be found, in any institution under control of the Government.

General "Beh-hor mrulo a long and eloquent speech in opposition to the Bill.

He referred to the heroes of tho past. Whoever heard of Epnroinondas prowling about in search of a leg lost in honourable warfare? Did Leonidas return from Thermopylae to seek the aid of thn National Legislature in an effort to recover membors of his body that had been hacked off ? Hannibal was fairly torn to pieces, but he would have scorned to go fishing in alcohol jars for them. Oawar, Alexander Wallenstein, Wellington, General Jackson, were all mighty warriors, but he had yet to learn that they ever stooped to begging their respective Governments for mangled remains that had been preserved for the instruction of medical men and the alleviation of tho sufferings of the human race. No, it was reserved for this obscure American militiaman, who was gravely suspected of fiendish barbarity to an aged and infirm giv.ndsire, and who had been charged with hiding behind a baggage waggon at Gettysburg, to begin this ghoulish practice of grasping legs that had been solemnly dedicated to the uses of our common country.

He would direct attention to the remarkable and mysterious circumstances surrounding this case. It was admitted even by the friends of Major Dunwoody that he had one leg. Two other lags had been awarded him by seperate Acts of Congress. That made three. He had in his hand a receipt for two artificial legs supplied to Major Dunwoody by the government, making five ; and he was credibly informed that the Major had recently appeared at a church in the capital wearing a French leg, with which he performed some extraordinary, not to say scandalous, feats during the service. Thus there was positive evidence that this person had already in his possession six legs, and now he was demanding from Congress permission to take a seventh ! He appealed to the House, was it reasonable that one man should be allowed to have seven legs? Would it look well for this House to announce to the country that it was willing to rifle the Medical Museum in order to confer an additional leg upon a man who was the owner of six others 1 He could understand such legislation if men were constructed like centipedes, but it seemed to him more than monstrous, positively iniquitous, indeed, to vote away the pathetic and instructive remnants of our glorious heroes for the purpose of furthering the insidious, perhaps treasonable, designs of a man who had enough legs of various kinds already to make three ordinary men comfortable.

When the General concluded his remarks, Colonel Dabney replied, and stated the facts of the case plainly and forcibly. The Bill was passed by a handsome majority. CHAPTER IV. Upon the very same day General Belcher's Bill indemnify ing Achilles Smith for the loss of his scalp by removing the Pottawatomie Indians from their reservation was squeezed through the House by a, majority of two votes. The Bill provided for the immediate withdrawal of the Indians to their reservation in the Indian Territory, and the location of the tribe upon another reservation in Colorado, in a part of the country which is absolutely a desert, without water or shrubbery, and wholly unfit for the residence of any animal of a higher grade than a rattlesnake.

By some means the information of the action of the House was conveyed to the Pottawatomie chiefs, and they expressed to their agent their disgust in very strong language. The agent was sacred, and he sent to Fort Gibson for a company of cavalry to protect him. The commander could spare but ten men. When the Indians discovered the approach of the soldiers they immagined that a force was coming to drive them from their homes, and accordingly they attacked the squad, killed all but one man, and then the entire tribe went upon the warpath.

The Government took instant action. The Indians numbered about one thousand warriors. The force sent to crush them included not more than two hundred cavalrymen. The Indians were lvounteci upon fleet and hardy ponies which could endure any amount of fatigue and live upon grass. The cavalrymen bestrode horses which had performed service in New York omnibuses and upon St. Louis hearse cars, and which could hardly be driven faster than six miles an hour under stress. The Indians were armed with telescope rifles, breech-loading, and warranted to kill at three-quarters of a mile. These had been furnished gratuitously in time of peace by a beneficent Government. The soldiers were armed with short-range carbines, and with sabres which were about as useful in lighting savages who never came within gun-shot as a fishing-rod would have been. The Indians carried upon their ponies what food they wanted. The military force was encumbered by ambulances and several waggons carrying camp equipage. In a light at close quarters the soldiers could

have beaten their adversaries easily. En a race, which permitted no other fighting than occasional skirmishing, all the chances were on the side of tho Indians; and a race was what the combatants were in for.

Just before tho expedition was ready to start, General Belcher, by bringing some influence indirectly to bear, succeeded in having Major Dunwoody detailed to accompany it in command of the C'ommissr.r'.at Department, The iiajor was wild with vexation and disgust.

"Pandora, darling," he said, "you know that I was to get my leg to-morrow, and that we were to bo married within the month ? "

"Well? Won't we? Is anything wrong ? " "Wrong? Why, my dear, I have just received from tho WaiDepartment orders to accompany the expedition against the Pattawatomies. I start to-morrow for Fort Gibson."

" How can you ride, with only one leg ! " '* I am to command the Commissariat Department. I shall have to ride iu an ambulance. This is the fault of that accursed Smith! Why didn't he and Belcher lot tho Indians alone ? "

" And we can't bo married, then, until you return ? "

" I don't see how ' Isn't it outrageous? 1 have the worst luck of any man in the ;irm)'."

Pandora looked as if she were going to cry.

" And your leg? Won't you get that until you come, back ?" "Yes, dear, I will take it out of the Museum this evening, and you can amuse yourself throwing it upon the canvass while [ am gone." " 0 that, will be so nice !" " So nice that I am cone 1"

" Oh, Henry ! How could you think that I meant that?"

" I didn't. I was only jesting. And you will think of me sometimes ?"

" Yes, oh yes! Every moment of :he clay !" " And you love me very much 1" " Indeed, indeed, I do !" " My darling !" " My dearest!"

Probably the curtain might as well drop again at this point.

(To be continued)