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Waikato Times, Volume XXX, Issue 2417, 7 January 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

Bloisson; "What makes you look so cheerful today, Dumpsey?" Dumpsey: "My daughter left the window open during the thunderstorm yesterday, and our paino was struck by lightning' You can't imagine what a relief it is." Tiiey had been at the masquerade, where she had recognised him at oncc. ■'Was it the loud beating of my heart, my darling, that told you I was here?" murmured he. "Oh, no!" she replied; "I recognised your long legs." Maybe that girl wasn't mad when after looking high and low for one of her big buttons which had come" off her sacque, she had at last found it on the cook stovu where her mother had mistaken it for a kettle cover.

A Lcwiston man lias been arrested for sezing a girl around the nock when her back was tinned and kissing her. Ordinarily the man who would kiss a girl in that manner ought to be punished dearly; but the jury should not forget in this case the difficulty of kissing a Lewiston girl from the front without stepping on her feet. The Reliable Man.—The reliable man of judgment. He docs not jump at conclusions. He is not frivolous or one-sided He is moderate not only in habit of body but also in mind. He is not a passionate man; if so by nature, he has overcome it by grace. What he says may be relied on. He is trustworthy . You feel safe with your property or administration of affairs in his hands. He is a brave man, for hia conclusions are logically deduced from the sure basis of the truth, and he does not fear to maintain them. Ho is a good man for no one can be thoroughly honest or truthful without being good. "Where shall we go this summer dear?' asked Mrs.Flyaway, "Well, let's see,' replied her husband, "last summer we got the fever in Italy. And the preceding summer we got rheumatism iu the north of Scotland. And the summer before that we went the seaside and got worried to death by the mosquitoes aud the landlord And the summer before that wewentiuto tho country and the children were all laid up with the measles." "I remember." "Well, if I felt as strong as I used to I'd very much like to take a holiday this sunimer but as I'm feeling weak and listless, I'm afraid I couldn't stand it. Let's stay at home and rest this year. The Fastest Vessul Afloat.—The trial for speed of what lias proved to be the fastest torpedo boat afloat took place on the Thames. At 10.20.a m, the new torpedo boat Rayo, built to the order of the Spanish Goverment by Messrs, Thorneycroft, of Chiswtok, took on board a number of gentleman connected with the Spanish Legation and others, The Spanish Minister made a brief inspectsion of the boat, but did not accompany the party on the trial trip. The Rayo is of eteel, contains 15 water-tight compartments, and is a twin-screw vessel. She is constructed tn carrv four torpedoes. Six runs were nvi.lf > > i"- , measured mile, giving an aver inn mi. ot 29J: statute miles per hour. Tho fastest run, the fourth, was equal to a speed of 34J statute miles. Subsequently a two hours' run past the Nore aud to sea took place a speed of 24 G3 knots being recorded. Tho acquisition of the Rayo will pat the Spanish Governni"" f Wpost" ""' .'■'••*"•.■>fv*-»--torpudo-buats aflcu., -iic Ai.eie nearly equal to the former in speed,