CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE.

Waikato Times, Volume XXX, Issue 2417, 7 January 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE.

One evening there was arrested in a Maine city an old gentleman of position and of cheery habits. The policeman said he had found the old gentleman on the street very drunk. The complaint was entered against him, but he was released on his recognisance, and sent homo in a cab. When his case came up in Court, the only witnesses summoned to prove his condition were the policeman and the old family servant of the accused a faithful and devoted retainer. The policeman had given his testimony to the fact of the old man's intoxication. Then the old servant was called to the stand. He testified flatly, to the surprise of the court-room, that the old man was sober when be came home. The prosecuting attorney proceeded to question. "You say that Mr—was sober when ho came home?" "Yes, sir." "Did you put him to bed?" "Yes, sir." "And he was perfectly sober? "Yes, sir" "What did he say when you put him to bed?" "He said 'Good night." "Anything else?" "Yes, sir." "What was it? Tell us exactly what he said, every word." "He said as how I was to call and wake him early, for he was to be Queen of the May!" The old gentleman was fined.—London Figaro.

THE HUNCHBACK LOVER. . <». A worthy man, who, with his family, resides in Paris, received a letter from his nephew, who was at that time a trader at Hyderabad. The letter terminated thus :—' I have received the portraits of my cousins, Mary and Margaret, whom I have never had "the pleasure of seeing, having been since my infancy a resident at Hyderabad. I shall arrive at Havre in the brig Quos Ego, about the first of October, and, with your consent, shall marry my beautiful cousin Mar—' The remainder of the name having been written under the seal, had been torn off and destroyed in opening the letter, so that it was impossible to ascertain whether the nephew had chosen Mary or Margaret. A mutual coldness and jealousy now sprung up between the sisters, who had hitherto lived in the most affectionate harmony. Each believed that hers was the name mentioned in the letter. Vainly did the father use all his eloquence to reconcile his daughters At length a courier arrived from Havre,and announced that his master would be in Paris next day. The servant was overwhelmed with questions, to which he replied that the master had been ruined, and that he was afflicted with a protuberance on the left shoulder, similar to that which had caused all the misfortunes of the Phrygian. Both sisters vowed that they would remain maids for ever rather than wed a hunchback and penniless cousin. The cousin arrived; the father embraced him cordially; the daughters pertly, and turned away their eyes. The father explained the accident that had befallen the latter, and inquired of his nephew the object of his choice. 'My cousin Mary, , answered the nephew. 'Never, never!" exclaimed Mary; 'I am satisfied with my condition, and shall not change it." ' Mademoiselle,' said the nephew, ' I have adopted the habits of the country of which lam all but a native. Read the manners and customs in Hyderabad, and you will see that in that country when a young man's proposals of marriage are rejected he withdraws himself from society as a useless member, and lulls himself,' repeated the nephew, in the tone of a man about to commit suicide.

'My poor cousin,' murmurs Margaret, with tears iu her eyes ; 'he has come set far to meet his death in the bosom of his family.' ' I know,' continued the nephew, ' that my deformity is offensive to the eye of a woman. I am also aware that my position as a merchant is not the best. Engaged from early youth in the diamond trade, I have lost all my father's property, but I have gained experience. I am young, active, industrious—these qualities are riches in themselves.' 'Yes, yes, hunchbacked and penniless,' murmured Mary, in a mocking tone aside. ' Poor young man,' said Margaret, and then added, ' I have also been rejected, cousin, but you don't seem to mind that.' ' Refused ! and by whom V asked the cousin. ' Why, by you, yourself, in preferring my sister to me. . The cousin threw himself at Margaret's feet. ' You have saved mo from despair and death.' Margaret extended her hand to raise her cousin. Both drew back a little, when Mary muttered these unfeeling words. 'My sister has courage. As for me I would leave all the poor hunchbacked cousins in the world to die.' 'Uncle,' said the nephew, 'with your permission I will retire to arrange my toilette a little before breakfast.' He kissed Margaret's hand, bowed to Mary and withdrew to change his travelling dress. The uncle and his two daughters placed themselves at table and waited their guest, who was soon announced by the servaut. Both sisters uttered a cry of surprise, but of different keys. They beheld a charming young gentleman of slender symmetrical form (no hunch) enter the room. He advanced and embraced Margaret. Placing before her a beautiful casket he said, 'There is your dower.' The casket was filled with diamonds.