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Waikato Times, Volume XXX, Issue 2417, 7 January 1888, Page 2 (Supplement)

A man named Shakspeare wrote some plays So thought tho world but 'twas mistaken, I'or now he's dead, he's cured 'tis said, And William Shakspoare's turned to Bacon. IN , an English opera company, formed for tho summer months, ib was found that tho tenors were too light for the rest of tho chorus. The manager protested that there wore voices enough, and one of the singers was questioned why he did not sing with nwro force. He replied that C, the leader of tho tenors, didn't, and if C, would not sing out ho was not inclined to strain his throat to do the work of two. C. was thereupon interviewed, and his answer to the rcmonstanco of the manager was, "I am paid summer wages, and I refuse to sing in anything but my summer voice." At a trial at the Clay Country {(fa.) Court tho other day, two witnesses were put upon tho stand, "who did not know who made them, had never heard of Heaven or Hell, and did not know whether a lie was right or wrong." In Now York they would have been put in tho jury box.—Detroit Press. "Courtesy." has reference to othors; " politeness "to ourselves. Tho former is a duty or privilage to others; tho latter is behaviour assumed from proper solf-respect. " ijencvulunt" refers to tho character of tho agont acting; " beneficent " to the act performed. "Charitable " is restricted to almsgiving, except when used in reference to tho judgment of others. ].)». W. had a quarrel with one of his parishioners, by the name Hardy, who showed considerable resentment. On tho succeeding Sunday tho doctor preached from tho following text, which he pronounced with great emphasis, and with a significant look at Hardy, who was present: —"There is no fool like the fool-Hardy" Brown —"Hereafter, my boy, I shall vote the straight Republican ticket." Smith—" What's the matter now?" Brown "Well, I regular Democratic caucus the other night, and threw out a few suggestions regarding reform." Smith What then?" Brown—" The gang took hold of me and threw me out after my suggestions." A female acquaintance not remarkable for her beauty had just been making a call on the lady of the house." What do you think of her?" the latter asked of Jones, who was present. The pqlite youth who prides himself on never being j;aUen at a disadvantage, at once replied; ''1 have never scon her before but she must have altered dreadfully." Slio wouldn't play houso that way: Mother —" Why, Harry you have'nt got through playing , house on tho beach, have you:' , Harry—"Ves'm." JVJothor— "What's tho matter? Didn't you havo a good time?" Harry—"No'm; that Carrio Judson is a mean old thing-. Sho wouldn't fight a bit like you and papa, and wken I hit her on the head sho cried. She's no fun." At the Metropolitan Music Hall, the other evening a hoatod ocqupant of the stalls tqqU off his; cqat ami sat in l)is sjjirt sleeves, naturally arousing the indignation of the cultured manager. An emissary was sent to remonstrate with the free and easy customer. "What v/ould they say at tho Alhambra," he asked, "if you rlid such a thing?" "I know," replied the coatless one, " because I tried ; they recommended mo to patronise tho Metropolitan."