BOHEMIA.

Waikato Times, Volume XXIX, Issue 2385, 22 October 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

BOHEMIA.

Duke: I lore thi' people^ Hill do not Wtf In stmjr im 1 In their njes; Th'iin/h it ih> irrlf, I tin not Irtish urll Their hud apptnus<• and over vehrmrnt ,- AV do I think thr man of safe discretion , That, does affect it. Mkasdrk for Mkasurk. Writinc last week on one or two matters ecclesiastical has suggested another kindred subject, but of a decidedly negative character. I shall not offer my observations ’in a controversial -spirit, for I endeavour to avoid the pom anjumnitmii in all rny oases. Whatever corruptions in our manners and abuses in our institutions may form targets for my satire, ridicule, or critical comments, will be handled in the same manner, and with the like touch to that with which a skilful physieiul applies hi.s scalpel to remove an unpleasant and ranconrous sore from a suffering frame. Hiving made an opening for the exudation of the virus and all foreign substance, the wound heals, the operator discharges his patient, who returns to his home rejoicing and wiser, resolved to preserve his health with greater diligence, and without having questioned the modus operandi of his healer. But this is somewhat of a digression, so I will state my ease without farther preface.

It has often formed tho subject for adverse and uncomplimentary criticism against the churches, that they are, with few exceptions, speaking commercially, insolvent concerns. They are erected on credit and frequently remain, from one cause and another, with a load of debt upon thorn for years. Many hard things have been written on tho means they adopt to obtain money for liquidating their liabilities, as well as for current expenditure. There have been heaps of correspondence on tho subject of haziars, fancy fairs, concerts, &e., &c. In dignaut tradesmen hive often lodged bitter protests against the co upetitiou of the various denominations in organising these affairs by which they not only trespass upon legitimate commercial pur suits, but also extract from their custo mers large amounts of ready cash that should have been devoted to the payment of their just lulls. Ido not with to pursue this argument which has been already so much discussed. It is a pity it is so perhaps, but the ago has become such a thoroughly practical, matter of fact one, that no one will venture to deny that even churches can flourish and successfully accomplish their mission without the almighty dollar, that great lever and all conquering agent of tho day. In every age coin has been necessary, but never to such a pressing extent as in the current century. Bazaars, social entertainments of an intellectual character, carried out in their purest integrity in aid of pious or other meritorious objects, are necessary moans to an end that have much in their favour. Public opinion, iu this case public toleration, has yielded to the churches thus far in their methods, questionable as no doubt they are, of “raising the wind the outrage on public morality has not been alarming, and public criticism has checked the growth of abuses from reaching any very serious dimensions.

But. the churches, in many instances, are beginning to over-s'ep the line, owing I presumo to diminished numbers, or unpopularity, or both having caused their revenues to decline. Hence they are resorting to such extraordinary expedients to avert the evil day, that public decency is in danger of being outraged and notice requires to be drawn to their conduct. It is not enough that they hare digged around the draper, the struggling dressmaker, the baker, grocer, ml h,r r/nnis ounw, but t,hey have now invaded the domain of the Mummers, Clowns and Darkies ! It is hardly credible that such a painful subordination of the chaste and exalted character of the pure and nndefpcl religion of the divine Teacher could bo possible? It is s -rrowful that any body of Christians can be found to lower themselves a-id debauch their creed by adopting such degraded devices to procure money. It was the filthy lucre, the accursed love of gold, that led the Jews to pollute the sacre 1 precincts of the Temple and brought upon the-n the anger and severe castigation of the Mister. If He so unsparingly condemned them then for using the holy elifice as a place in which t-> follow their private commerce, how much more condemnatory is not such a prostitution of his Church to-day- for the purposes of gain ? Now what are these now schemes ? There is one church, I will not say where, that, in its impocuniosity is organising a scries of entertainments (to be held, I believe, at Christina-) with the skill of a Paddy Doran, the Auckland impresario, in which Christy Min-tnds are advertised as a leading feimre. Another Christian communitv, also in this colony, announce a grand burlesque concert in aid of their church funds. And at Christmas time, too, of all seasons of the year 1 When we should bo commemorating the birth uf the world’s Redeemer with pie ms of praise and sacerdotal song according to the custom of our forefathers and the pious teachings of the Church ; instead of following the example of the Wise Men in acts of adoration, and showing that, as the ages have advanced, we have progressed in intellectuality ami morality, we are to witness the debasing spectacle in this year of grace of the greatest festival of Christianity being observed by exhibitions of mimics with blackened faces and grotesque costumes, coarse jests and unseemly- music! 0 tempora, 0 mores 1 Pandering thus to the lowtastes of uncultivated sections of the community will probably effect the object desired ; they will win the dollars. Nothing gathers a large house so well as minstrels and dancing. Here is a parodyon a say-ing familiar to schoolboys : Shut your eyes and see what the—Devil .will send you. * * * * *

If the Nigger Minstrels’ plan of obtaining money is to be a fixture in church management, it should be extended beyond occasional exhibitions in public halls. Add it on to the service. An unpopular or milk and water preacher with an attenuated stipend, who is at his wits’ end to induce people to attend the church, will not want a crowded audience, I mean a full congregation, if he were to convert his choir into a full company of Christy’s, with burnt cork, wigs, fantastical dress, and all the other paraphernalia of a trained troupe. When the parson enters the church from the vestry, in place of the usual worn-out custom of singing a dreary hymn, the cornermen could start of! with “Slap, bang ! Here we are again ! ” with the usual banjo and bones accompaniment. This would put tlie assembled brethren in capital humour, and prepare them to wrestle with their devotions. A charming variety could be imparted at intervals by Hones asking Mr Johnson, in that naive manner lovers of this sort of burlesque delight in, a conundrum or two adapted to the occasion, and after this fashion :

“ Say, Massa Johnson, why am we like de steeple ” “Cub it up. Hones.” “ Cos we go high, a’corse ! ” Whilst the collection was being taken up, Tambourine could do a breakdown in the centre aisle, or in the pulpit, giving vent to hia feelings by sncli exclamations as “ Golly, I feel so loose, Ya! ya !’’ That would have the effect of emptying the pockets of the delighted devotees and nothing less than shillings would be dropped into the plate; that abominable coin of miserly piety, the threepenny bit, would be rarely seen again. They may as well go the whole hog, and make a complete revolution in the character of Christian worship ; half measures are evidences of great weakness. The pautoipiiuic cere-

moni.il of the Romish Church would he eclipsed, and the Salvation Army with their antics would be nowhere. Burlesque and Christy minstrels would monopolise popularity and clear the field of all rival religions. It is thus we would demonstrate how we have advanced in eiilightmeut, religious culture, and a rational conception of what we owe to the majesty and divinity of God at the end of nineteen centuries. \Ve have to call in the aid of buffoonery and comedy to extract unrighteous mammon from indifferent adherents in order to keep our religion alive! What a terrible descent ! A Russophile correspondent asks why I omitted to include Russia amongst the nations England recognises, as she is too big a country to escape notice. That is true, hut it was through an omission and nothing more, except laziness, perhaps. I wrote down the first lew names that came uppermost to my mind, and embraced all others in the very generic and convenient, etc &c. Russia is, therefore, an et cetera (written in full, this time). She is also a huge bogey held perpetually before our eyes to keep us in fear and trembling. Title »u,/ h.irhnrr, aussi. England is not afraid of either ghosts or barbarians. I felt slightly taken aback in my generous advocacy of Germany’s movements in the Pacific when I read the latest intelligence from Samoa, and saw an account of an assault by an officer of one of the German warships on a barmaid at Apia, in which he struck and knocked her down, because she resented his coarse remarks to her. The girl was right when she said no English officer would be guilty of such brutality, and 1 venture to assert that had any English or American officers been present and witnessed the assault they would have run the brute through the body on the spot. Icm only imagine the fellow was drunk at the time ; but it would be well to ascertain the blackguard's name,so that he may ho tabooed by all colonists, should he ever visit any of our ports again with his ship. We must not, however, condemn all the apples because there are some rotten ones in the cask. Enwr-TinKin.