Narieties.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVIII, Issue 2331, 18 June 1887, Page 6 (Supplement)

Narieties.

Roaring Tradr.—A costermonger'a •■Thk'Height 6f Fashion.—The latest ladies bonnets. > - "' > And the silence that ensued was ontjr by the falling of a.tray full of dishes down the dining-room steps? '~ '"'....,''"''' Tripped. —" I wouldn't be a fool if I were you," said Jones to a'fricnd. "If you we're me, you wouldn't be a fool,"was the reply. Truly < Rural.—(Scene: 'Refreshment table at a Volunteer Ball in a, country- district.) Young Swell "Ah Ms this sherry'?-" Rifiemanin attendance "Na I It's;wine." (Collapse of young swell.) Dilby: " Well, Filtrip, you've been ona farm for several years-what is the most troublesome thing you've ever tried to raise?' Filtrip (who is hopelessly in debt): " Whyi the most troublesome, unprofitable thing I've tried to raise is a mortgage." The thing that matters most both for happiness and duty is thai; we should habitually live with wise thoughts and right feelings and tasks. Literature helps us more than most studies to this Messed companionship. The dispatches say the lack of water in Bnrinah is defeating the' Britislr army there. If the British army was like ours nothing of that'kind would ever defeat it. —Detroit Free Press. ... Thky were talking of .'[the fair sex at a Parisian reception, when a lady exclaimed to the gentleman with whom she was conversing, " You men are right to accuse us ! I know only two perfect women !" " And who is the other ?" inquired her companion gallantly. "It's a solemn thing, young man," said the broken hearted father, " to'come''into the home of an old man and take away.hia only daughter, the light of the household, and the prop .and solace of his declining years. But you have my blessing, arid I wish you every joy and—-'' " But I won't take her away, sir," interrupted the young man, inexpressibly affected." we'll both stay with you." . : - Small Boy: "I picked up a dollar'in the road to-day, pa." Fond Father: " And you restored it to the owner, I suppose ?" Small Boy: "Yes, sir." Father: "That's a good, honest boy." Boy (consciencestricken) : " Well, pa, you see I couldn't very well help it. The man held me by the ear." •• In business, in politics, in all concerns of life there are routine courses, in which* all the world moves along without the trouble of thinking. If the old ways are good, it is all right, and no man or woman should change for the mere sake of changing. If, however, there are obvious imperfections in the old, nobody should maintain the old simply because it is old. The following is the draft address to the Queen adopted by a committee of Melbourne ladies with Lady Loch at their head :— "May it please your Majesty. We, the undersigned women of Victoria, a. colony, privileged to bear your Majesty's name, beg to offer our heartfelt congratulations on the completion of the fiftieth year of your Majesty's reign. Although "we live on shores far distant from England, we never cease to hear of your labours for the encouragement of all that is good and noble, your sympathy with the suffering of all classes; your readiness to recognise all that is brave and true. The example of a life devoted to duty, to consistency, and to purity,. haR conferred such an inestimable blessing upon the present generation that we earnestly trust that the,memory of that example may influence for good our children and their decendants. They, we fondly hope.will sustain their part in developing a niighty dominion in these seas, connected in closest feelings of affection with the old country, whichp we trust, may long continue to; bear the charmed name of 'Home' From her ;<we or our parents came ; from her we inherit those qualities to the exerciseof which- the prosperity of this colony is so greatly due. We humbly pray that the Almighty may ever guide and watch over, your Majesty, and bless all your thoughts, words, and deeds." MAN AND HIS SHOES. ' " . How much a man is like his shoes ! For instance, both have a soul to lose ; '-■''■'>'■ Both have been tanned, both been made tight • By cobblers ; both get left and right, Both need a mate to be complete ; And both are made to go on feet. They both need healing, oft are sold, And both in time will turn to mould. With shoes the last is first; with men The first shall'be the last; arid when The shoes wear out they're mended new— When men :wear out, they're men dead too, : They both are trod upon, and both ■ Will tread.on others, nothing loath. -.. Both have their ties, and both incline, When polished, in the world to shine ; Andboth peg out. Now would youchoosa To be a man or be his shoes ?•