Narieties.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVIII, Issue 2325, 4 June 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Narieties.

OfcO asthbHills.— The valleys. Something New in Stockings.—A cork leg.; I ■ , <"' Tapers with Unquestionable WaterMatiks'.'—Map?. Why is lnavriaere no uneven game?— Because it is a tie. . There is nothing that weighs more heavily upon a right-minded man than the slow progress he makes in overcoming his faults. "■'WfFET'"r'don^tleT*hy^vb"nS(gh , 'ghl , )uia'' , not make as good swjmmers: as men." Husband : " But"; you see, aJ swimmer has to keep his mouth shut! " " Are you pretty well acquainted with/ your mother tonguei riiy boy?" asked the school-teacher of the new scholar. " Yos, sir," answered the man timidly; ." mother jaws ine a good deal, sir." ~ :• Colo words freeze people, hot, words scorn them, bitter words make them bitter, wrathful words make them AVrathful. Kind words produce their own image on men's souls ; and a beautiful image it is.- ~.••;■■' " The times arc hard, my dear," said a man to his better half, '.'and I find,it very difficult to keep my nose above water." " You could u-isily keep your nose above . water," retarned the lady,' "If you didn't so ofteii keep it abiive brandy-and-Water." Wβ are .either raised or lowered by our associations. Manners, temper, intellect,' and morals are all directly influenced by our surroundings ; and tliose who choose for themselves friends of an inferior caste— whether of mind or of manners, of moral or of conduct—fall to the level , of their choice. / ~ . . ' Comb in, my poor man,' said a benevolent lady to a ragged tramp, "and I will Ret you something to-eat. "■■ " Thanky, mum; don't care if I do." "I suppose," continued the lady, setting a square meal before him, '■' your life has been full of trials?': •' Yis, mum ; an , the wust of it waz, lallus got convicted." '■ . • ;. Legal phraseology is proverbially obscure, but the lawyers must have been more than usually opaque who drew up a certain' elause in the regulations of a corporation owning a new bridge in Boston. The clause enacts that " the said proprietors shall,meet annually on the first Tuesday in .June, provided the same does not fall on Sunday."— Boston Gazette. U.S.' A Lirrr.E girl of eight summer stepped into the store of an Italian fruit vendor the other day to buy some peanuts. She was going to make a call upon a friend, and wished to bring something with her to add to the entertainment. Stepping up to the fruit vendor she said : "I want five cents' worth of peanut 3, and," looking appealingly into the Italian's face, "please give me a lot, there's nine in the family." Jurjus C.K9AK. —If in a nature so harmoniously organised there is any one trait to be singled out as characteristic, ! it is this—that he stood aloof from all ideology and everything fanciful. As t a matter of course, Cresar was a man of passion, for without passion there is no genius, but his passion, was never stronger than he could control. He had had Tiis season of youth, and song, love, and wine has taken joyous possession of his mind, but with him they did not penetrate to the in-. most core of his nature. Literature occupied him long and earnestly ;. but while Alexander could not sleep for thinking of the Homeric Archilles, Cuesar in his sleepless hours. mused on the inflections of the Latin nouns and verbs. He made verses, as. everybody then did, but they were weak ; on the other hand, he was interested in subjects of astronomy and; natural science. While wine was, and continued to be, with Alexander the destroyer of care, the temperate Roman, after the revels of las youth were over, avoided it entirely. Around him, as around all those whom the full lustre of woman's love has dazzled in youth, fainter gleams of it continued imperishably to linger. Even in later years he had his love adventures and success with women, and he retained a certain foppishness in his outward appearance, or to speak more correctly, a pleasing consciousness of his own manly beauty. He carefully covered the baldness which ha keenly felt with the laurel chaplet that he wore in public in his later years, and ha would doubtless have surrendered some of his victories if he could thereby have brought back his youthful locks. But, however much, even when monarch, he enjoyed the society of women, he only amused himself with them, and allowed them no manner, of influence over him.. Even his much-censured l'elation to Queen Cleopatra was only contrived to mark a weak point in his political position. —Mommsen'a " History of Rome."

MATTIE'S WANTS AND WISHES. I wants a piece of talito To make my doll a- dress ; It doesn't want a big piece, A yard'll do I guesn. I wish you'd fred iny needle, And find my fimble, too ; I has such heaps o' sewing, I don't know what to do. My Hepsy tored her apron A tum'liu' down the stair ; And CiEsar lost his pantaloons, And needs anozzer pair. I wants my Maud a bonnet, She hasn't none at all ; And Fred must have a jacket, His ozzer one's too small. I wants to pfo to grandma's' You promised me I might; I know she'll like to see me — I wants to go to-night. ■„; She lets me wash the dishes, xVnd see in grandpa's watch— Wish I'd free, four pennies, To buy some butter-scotch, I want some newer mittens, 1 wish you'd knit me some, 'Cause most my fingers freezes, They leak so in the thumb. I wored it out last summer, A pullin' George's sled ; I wish you wouldn't laugh so— It hurts me in the head. I wish I hae a cooky, I'm hungry's I can be ; If you hasn't pretty large ones, Youd better bring me free.