THE COWS' MORBID APPETITE.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVIII, Issue 2322, 28 May 1887, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE COWS' MORBID APPETITE.

We do not expect much fun from a cow, and jokes of a practical character from such a source will be all the more appreciated. Cows that are kept- off grass are apt, especially if they do not get enough dry feed, to develope morbid appetite. They eat paper, rags and old clothes, and to enjoy the family washing quite as much as hay or chaff. A clergyman's wife in an up country town possessed one of these linen eating ruminants. The cow in revenge for short commons used to eat the morning paper when it was thrown over the garden fence, the sheets on the clothes line, and the window curtains when the windows; were left open. Precautions were taken, and the appetite of the animal was stayed for a time. But on St. Patrick's Day the servant of the parsonage—her name was Bridgetwas allowed to go to the. local sports. As she had not returned at 10 o'clock the house was locked up under the impression that Bridget had gone to her mother's I must leave something to the imagination in describing the sequel. At Gin the morning there was a knock at the back door, and the clergyman in his dressing gown opened it. He is reticent as to what he saw, but his wife gives Bridget's explanation, " You see, ma'am, I couldn't get home till about 12, and as the lights were all out I didn't like to disturb ye,'so I lay down in the paddock and went asleep.; but the cow, the baste, she tuk a male off liny things. She ate everything she could—but the stays was too much for her. I hope ma'am you'll make it up to me !"—Atticws in The Leader.